Bolt

2008 animated movie

Rating: 12/20 (Cory: 16/20; Dylan: 8/20; Emma: 18/20; Abbey: 20/20; Olivia: 20/20; Ashley: 20/20)

Plot: A dog named Bolt stars in his own action-packed television show about a dog named Bolt. The show's producers keep him believing that he really is protecting his owner Penny in order to make the dog seem like a better actor. Following the shooting of a cliffhanger in which Penny is captured, a series of circumstances result in Bolt being shipped to New York. He has to travel to Hollywood to find and save Penny. A kitty and an obnoxious hamster help him.

Randy "The Macho Man" Savage plays "Thug" in this one. Last I heard from him, he was shilling beef jerky and calling out Hulk Hogan on a rap album, probably with his eye on a future Wrestlemania rivalry match. Maybe that's his goal here, too. "Hulk's got his own reality show? I'll do voice work for a cute animated Disney movie about a dog. How you like that, Hulk? Ooooooh yeeeeaaaah!" Randy "The Macho Man" Savage has had his head slammed into far too many turnbuckles to know where he's at most of the time, but even he could watch Bolt and know exactly what's going to happen. "Is Bolt predictable? Ooooooh yeeeaaaaah!" He'd also tell you that some of the characters work (the title character's fine, the cat's fine, the pigeons are great) while the bulk of them are either stock characters (the agent, Penny) or really annoying (the hamster, the other pigeons). Randy "The Macho Man" Savage probably chuckled a little while watching this. Some of the gags involving the dog thinking he's got superpowers when he actually doesn't work well enough in the first half of the movie. Maybe he even spat half-masticated Slim Jims into his lap. But the movie falls apart in the second half when it tries to pull your heartstrings until they ache and throw two too many action sequences at you. Bolt isn't horrible, but it's a color-by-numbers animated feature that I'll more than likely see with another name in a couple years.

Bolt trivia: Did you know that Randy "The Macho Man" Savage, star of Bolt, was drafted by the St. Louis Cardinals baseball team in 1971? He was a catcher.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

As a child, I prefered Macho Man's brother, Lanny "The Genius" Poffo. (AKA "Leaping" Lanny Poffo.) Mostly because he would read a poem before the match, in which he would predict his victory via verse.

Miss Elizabeth went on to die of a overdose in the company of her drug buddy Lex Lugar.

Thank you,

Dr. Bob Eubanks

Shane said...

Dr. Eubanks!

I vaguely remember Leaping Lanny. I'm currently watching "The Genius" vs. Hulk Hogan which I saw described as "the funniest wrestling match ever"...anybody with a haircut like that can't be a genius, by the way.

I'm going to look for some of his poetry after this match. Apparently, there's a published book of his verse.

Shane said...

Oh, and thanks for stopping by, Bob...it means a lot to me to have you comment.

cory said...

I stand by my 16. It was an original idea, the voice work was great (especially Travolta's and the cat... I like Rhino, though I can see your point of view). There were many peripheral characters that were funny, and the ending was very sweet and heartfelt. Of course it's happy ending is predictable, but this is a fun family movie well deserving of a B (I may have to rebel against the 20 point system because of this movie) versus the C+ of yours.

Shane said...

B? C+? What is this nonsense?

It's not the happy ending predictability that bugs me...it's how everything gets to the happy ending. It was like one of those wooden children puzzles where everything just fits perfectly and anybody looking at it can see how the pieces fit without any thought whatsoever.