Trip with the Teacher

1975 field trip

Rating: 5/20

Plot: While on a field trip, a teacher and her students are assaulted by malicious motorcycle-riding brothers and another guy.

This was the last movie for Jack Driscoll, a definite candidate for my annual Torgo award. He only appeared in four movies, and it doesn't seem like any of them were very big parts unless "Liquor Store Rowdy" is a big part. Here, he's Marvin the bus driver, and he's so good. His reaction to a cat fight that erupted after some Bible quoting had me rewinding to get a screen shot. Even the motorcycle ruffians start laughing during a scene where he's discussing his bus problems ("The bus chugga-chugged.), and I'm honestly not sure if they're laughing because the script told them to or because of his acting. And director Earl Barton knew what he was doing when he decided to include a bunch of close-ups of Driscoll squinting and parting his lips indecisively. The rest of the acting is about as good. A gas station attendant is like a grumpy Don Knotts. The girls are about the same as they are in 1970's movies like this--mildy attractive and scantilly clad. The real star of the show, other than the underutilized Jack Driscoll, is Zalman King, the main villain. This is slow going at first with teen girls reading about Navajos (even her friends seem bored by the movie at this point) and guys pumping air into their motorcycle tires, but at least there's some funky music to accompany it all. But then there's Zalman King doing his Zalman King thing. It's never clear what's wrong with his character or why he would wear sunglasses like he does which make him look like a big-haired insect. His behavior is completely unnatural. He hugs Marvin for no reason at all and tweaks nipples. And then, of course, there's the whole murder thing. He can't seem to stop giggling and seems sleepy. If there's such thing as Giggling Narcolepsy, he's probably got it. Or maybe he's just a tweaker. The action scenes with King are really awkward. Now, I've never been in a knife fight (Note: I've been in a hatchet fight though.), but the way people in movies fight with knives always seems really goofy to me. My favorite Zalman King action move is when he gets in a fight with Marvin the bus driver and head-butts him in the butt. A head-butt in the butt. That's got to have another name. A butt-head-butt? There's a thrilling motorcycle chase or two and an absolutely ridiculous ending that you would almost have predicted if the whole thing wasn't so preposterous. Oh, and I just love how they all can still joke about the whole thing at the end, just hours after they watched a crazy insect-man rape and murder people. There's a good message there, I think. One more odd little thing about this movie: There's a weird humming that pops up every once in a while, but it doesn't seem to be coming from any of the characters. I assumed that it was the score, maybe the cheapest score in movie history. Director Barton is credited with "The Hummer's Theme," so there you go.