Road House

1989 movie

Rating: 12/20

Plot: A surgeon specializing in tracheostomy changes careers and agrees to work as a bouncer to clean up a rough bar.

Two of this movie's stars would later make appearances in The Big Lebowski--Sam Elliott and Ben Gazzara. They're the best things about this movie which makes me wonder if the Coen brothers watched this and thought, "If those two guys can shine in a movie that is this stupid, we need to work with them." If they didn't want to hire Elliott right away, you know they did when they heard him say, "The double douche." Of course, my favorite (and probably yours) thing in this is actually the brief screen time that Chino "Fats" Williams gets in this as a derelict that Dalton gives his car to. Williams also plays a derelict in Rocky III, but he's got a job as a truck driver in The Terminator. His career is a rags-to-trucker-and-back-to-rags story. Swayze's as stoic as Robocop in this, but he doesn't carry this movie very well. And I don't know what to make of Kelly Lynch although I do like the story about how Bill Murray and his brothers call her husband every time this movie is on to let him know that she is having sex with Patrick Swayze. That is hilarious.

Historical note: This movie has the record for "Most Times a Gun or a Knife Is Kicked Out of Characters' Hands in One Movie." Forty-seven, in case you're wondering.

I may have given this three bonus points for the following line: "I heard you had balls big enough to cum in a dump truck."

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