2012 best picture nominee
Rating: 11/20
Plot: Based on the popular "Where's Waldo?" books, this concerns a ten-year-long manhunt for a guy who ends up being difficult to find because he wasn't actually, as suspected, wearing a striped shirt.
This is a movie about finding Osama Bin Laden whose name might actually have been Usama Bin Laden. Maybe that's why they had trouble finding the guy. They weren't even sure what his name was. It's that story, but it's also the story of one woman's struggle to have her voice heard. That's the most unfortunate thing about this movie because I didn't like the character and I didn't like the woman playing her. I realize Jessica Chastain was nominated for awards, but I just don't get it. She's really terrible, almost robotic in some scenes. She gets some Big Acting moments where she gets to cry or scream, but she was just crying and screaming, not really creating a character. I just didn't care about this woman, and that was unfortunate since she was at the center of the whole thing. Maybe it's the texting/chatting during one scene.
"He's here brb"
"Cool!"
"Wassup you talking yet?"
What the hell? I can't like a character who communicates like that. Of course, her biggest moment might be when she gets the great line "I'm the motherfucker that found this place, sir," a line delivered like she thinks she's in a teen comedy. Now, I don't know, maybe that's actually what was said by the real Maya in the real meeting, but it just seemed like it was completely out of place and inappropriate here. I wish the character could have thrown in a "Yippee Ki Yay" somewhere in there. I also didn't like the direction in Zero Dark Thirty. It's subject matter so easy that it seems kind of cheap. Bigelow starts with manipulation early--a black screen and 9/11 911 calls--before heading straight for the torture. At one point during an early torture scene, I almost called somebody to tell them everything I knew. The movie is poorly paced. Why, for example, are you showing me Zach Galifianakis feeding ice cream to a monkey? Here, clumsiness passes as grittiness and art. We get all these quick shots of car door handles, people buying fruit, trees, all filmed with the beloved shaky cam. It's a style that I was tired of before the movie started, and I definitely didn't acquire a taste for it as this overly long movie progressed. The final chunk of this movie shows the night Bin Laden was killed. Lots of darkness and shaky cam there, too, but very little actual suspense. And I'll tell you what. I'm your typical American with a real red-white-and-blue hatred for Osama Bin Laden, and if you make a movie about his death without it having an emotional impact at all, you've just failed. And no, I'm not talking about the lack of a dead-Osama money shot. I don't need to see that. I do need to feel something, however, and I was too distracted by clichéd action style techniques and bad acting from the lead for it to happen.
Question: Is the ending of this supposed to be ambiguous in any way? I mean, she identifies the body as Bin Laden's (How would she know, by the way?) and starts crying at the end, but can we really be sure they got the right person? The kid who was offered a glow stick didn't reveal anything. Did I miss something where there was undeniable proof that it was really the guy? Could Maya have lied when identifying the body because she would have looked like a complete fool otherwise?
5 comments:
Great review. I think I liked this movie more at first because it was like I was providing the drama by running a parallel movie of the real events in my head. "Zero Dark Thirty" was the proxy that made me think of the attack, the long hunt, and the excitement of that night, and helped me relive the actual thrill of knowing we got the bastard...or at least that's what we all believe. I know our military would never screw up or lie to the public. Maybe Bin Laden watches this for laughs in a cave under the grassy knoll. Speaking of screw-ups, why did one helicopter go down for no apparent reason whatsoever during the most important mission EVER? Do we not spend enough on the military? Should we spend more?
If I didn't have a rooting interest in the history and judged this purely as a movie, I sure as hell wouldn't be giving it any awards. Reflexively I ranked this fairly high among last year's movies, but your review has made me rethink that. You're absolutely right about Chastain. She has the charisma of salt, the likeability of an ex-wife you cheated on, and she never once takes her clothes off. Maybe if she had then they would have gone in sooner for Bin Laden. That part is interesting, though. The idea that we didn't take a shot for months because we were afraid of screwing up again. The lesson, as always, is that it's Jimmy Carter's fault. The first 90 minutes of this is pretty dull, pointless, and really really unpleasant. It did help me rank career options, though, and I can now say that I would put being a military torture specialist below dermatologist, but still above proctologist.
This will probably end up being the definitive "hunt for Bin Laden" movie which gives it a certain amount of importance, but given that it is a movie and they have been coy about the real person or combination of people, the whole thing has to be taken with a grain of salt. Getting your history from movies can be a bad idea...I'm looking at you "Argo". As a movie without the built-in gravitas, I would give this a 13.
Right, since when has America been afraid to screw up? We cover that sort of thing up really well, don't we?
I was the only person in my first grade class to vote for Jimmy Carter in our class election. The ONLY one. It was the first time I ever felt mentally challenged.
I found the behavior of the SEALS distracting. I guess they're just regular guys who like to play horseshoe and stuff, but that guy from 'Parks and Recreation' just seemed too much like a frat boy. Maybe it's because I'm used to him on the sitcom.
Replace this in your top-ten with 'Chicken with Plums,' written and directed by the same graphic novelist and directors who did 'Perspepolis' which I know you didn't like nearly as much as me. Nice little movie, I thought, even though I think there are some things in it that will probably annoy you.
Nevermind...'Chicken with Plums' is from 2011. 'Moonrise Kingdom' then. Or 'Beasts of the Southern Wild'...
I already ranked "Moonrise Kingdom" higher...excellent movie. Recently I have really liked the films "End of Watch" and "Life of Pi" and "Promised Land". Maybe one of them will get the honor.
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