Time Travel Movie Fest: Timestalkers

1987 TV movie

Rating: 13/20

Plot: A widower finds an anachronism and finds himself mixed up with some time travelers.

I wonder how many of these time travel movies will show a clock within the first few seconds like this one did. I think I'm going to keep a tally.

This suffers a bit from a low budget. The special effects are goofy, even for 1987, with throbbing blueish lights used for the scenes where the characters use their paperweight to time travel. Oh, and this utilizes sparklers ingeniously. It reminds me of the time I incorporated sparklers into my Star Wars action figure play and, after disappointed in the lack of damage a sparkler could do to Obi Wan Kenobi's head, repeatedly scraped his noggin on the concrete until his hair was gone. I'm not sure what I had against Obi Wan Kenobi's head back then. I was a really stupid kid. But I digress. This movie's future world looks cheap, and the Wild West looks like a set that dozens of other TV movies were filmed on. At least the horses are real.

The story is almost interesting although it's really just a retelling of Terminator without a muscular robot who can barely speak English. This has an evil flesh 'n' blood human who can barely speak English instead. The mash-up of science fiction and Western genres is interesting, predating Back to the Future III. The main character ends up as this unbelievable history brainiac which seems a little artificial. Of course, if I can buy people time traveling with the help of that paperweight, I guess I can buy the idea that Scott can be that damn smart. He is, after all, a history professor. The biggest problem with the story is the resolution, the exact sort of ending that most intelligent viewers won't want to see at all. And don't get me started on the plot holes created by these time travel shenanigans. Clearly, writers Brian Clemens and Ray Brown didn't really care about that sort of thing. The story ends up being really simple yet not tight at all.

The thing that keeps it afloat is an interesting cast. I always enjoy seeing William Devane, and he's got that type of voice that can trick you into thinking he really is a history buff and Wild West aficionado. He's also got the drawing skills to make any inevitable shoot-outs in this plausible. Although there is a moment in this where he takes off an ascot--I think it was an ascot--and ties it around his head like a bandanna, a sad attempt to transform himself into a bitchin' action hero. You just know it was probably his idea, too. "Hey, how about I tie this around my head like Rambo?" And no director can say no to William Devane because he's the type of guy whose feelings you just don't want to hurt. Shane-movies favorite John Ratzenberger is also in this, filming this right in the middle of his Cheers stint. And then there's Klaus Kinski, of course playing a badass. His accent makes a lot of his lines unintelligible, even to the subtitle typist. But when he gets really mad in this movie, probably because of the ridiculous outfit he had to wear in the future, his performance turns into something that's just a little too good for a project like this. Of course, Kinski's at his best when he gets to play a crazy person, probably because the guy was legitimately crazy. His Dr. Joseph Cole in this is a fun enough villain although the dopiness of the story doesn't do him any favors. He needed more lines like "Thanks for the lift, mister."

All in all, this ain't a bad little TV movie.