Hard-Boiled

1992 Hong Kong action-packed candy wrapper

Rating: 13/20

Plot: A cop you just know is hard-boiled because he does his killin' with a toothpick in his mouth teams up with an undercover cop to bring down the really mean guys who shot his partner forty seven thousand times in Hong Kong Disney World's Magical Tiki Tiki Room. They use guns that don't need to be reloaded and witty rapport in their attempts to bring down the villains, and all kinds of other people die, usually by being shot with a bullet that throws them twenty feet into the air. Explosions galore!

In Hard-Boiled's defense, this is nowhere near my favorite genre and I could be a little biased. But with the completely far fetched, though extremely exciting and well-choreographed, gunfight scenes; music and cinematography that more than likely made this seem dated a few years before it came out; laughably trite dialogue; subplots both silly and extraneous; a plot that seems secondary, an excuse to get to the next explosion, because it probably is secondary and an excuse to get to the next explosion; stock characters forced to wade through cliches; and too much Hollywood influence, I really think I'm being fair. I had high hopes watching the beginning scene with Yun-Fat's character gnawing on that toothpick in the serene comforts of a teahouse filled with caged, singing birds, a scene that quickly erupted into a poetically violent cartoon. But then the plot started, and I wiped myself free from my own drool and trudged through the rest of the movie. Two more very well scripted explosive gun fight scenes--one in a factory and one in a hospital, the latter reaching for heartstrings and for some reason attempting to pile on more tension by including newborn babies--made this worthwhile viewing. However, any movie that is better when you watch only three extended scenes while fast-forwarding the other hour can't be all that good. It's a big dumb movie. Fortunately, lots of people like 'em like that.

Dylan, during the climactic hospital scene: "Didn't that guy already pop out of the window and die?" I'm not sure if he was right or not, but honestly, it doesn't even matter.

Here is my hat (on the edge of my head!) checking out motorcycles exploding in midair or heroic slides down side rails while shooting: