The Three Musketeers

1973 Comedy Adventure directed by Richard Lester
Rating: 14/20

Plot: A bunch of flamboyantly homosexual men grow mustaches, arm themselves with feathers and swords, and throw some kind of wild flamboyantly homosexual party where they break things and say things that may or may not have been witty in 1973. There is a flamboyantly homosexual terrorist attack involving a wagon and half a donkey. The attack, apparently at least indirectly the result of Raquel Welch's cleavage, ultimately results in all seven of the musketeers losing their boots and being forced to dance across the marble in their bare feet. They steal a computer and use it to download short fuzzy clips of Raquel Welch blowing up balloons, and the little one says to the big one, "Hey! How did your sword get in my scabbard? Eh oh!" a fair question that the big one responds to with nothing but twenty-four minutes of uninterrupted giggling. Then...flamboyantly gay swashbuckling! They pause, pile on a pair of horses (also downloaded from the Internet via an illegal horse-sharing site), and return to a castle to finish their flamboyantly homosexual party. The night and the movie end with the musketeers shaving each other.
Here I am laughing uproariously while enjoying the swashbuckling:

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