1995 movieRating: 15/20
Plot: A sequel to the box office flop Apollo 12, this episode in the series features our three heroes--Roy Davenport, Sebastian Futon, and Rocko Picnic--as they travel to the distant conical planet called Borkenloaf to attempt the rescue of the American president from the clutches of space monkeys who are repeatedly and ingeniously molesting him with tobacco-stained gloves and extraterrestrial prods. The problem is that Borkenloaf is so far away (nearly 1,200 miles!) and they are without a spacecraft (destroyed in the final moments of Apollo 11 during the climactic space tornado scene) and must walk instead. "Chin up," says Picnic. "You weren't chosen for this mission because you're a God damn puss." They must tangle with space squid, space centipedes (later, a video game), and space koala bears along the way. Conflicts arise when Davenport finishes off the last of the potato salad and Futon is accused of deeds of which only Futon could be accused. Can the astronauts settle their differences in time to work together to save the president? Will a figure from Davenport's checkered past threaten the mission? Will this movie make enough money to justify an Apollo 14? Based on a true story.
I don't hate Tom Hanks. Not at all. But I do have a problem with him that is really hard to articulate. The only way I can put it is that he is just too Tom Hanksy. This isn't a bad movie. But like Tom Hanks, this movie is just too much a movie. I don't know if it's due to spoilers or with what I thought was sterile direction, but I was never moved by anything that was happening on the screen and never on the edge of my seat. There was a moment in this when what was happening on the spacecraft got kind of boring, probably because the movie was nearly six hours long, and the stuff on earth became more intriguing. Actually, now that I think about it, that stuff was probably always more intriguing. I was never able to empathize with the astronauts in this one except for maybe Sinise's character who was on earth anyway. This, like most movies based on historical events, would have been much better with puppets. But gosh, I hope we go back to the moon some day. I can't think of anything better to do with all of this money America has saved up.
3 comments:
Once again I have to begin with WOW. At times I am not a Hanks fan either ('Polar Express', 'Forest Gump'), but I think he is perfect in this, and I totally disagree with your review. The acting is uniformly great, the scenes are beautifully shot and "Apollo 13" is both thrilling and a great thriller. I have seen it many times and love it as much every time. Maybe the most amazing thing to me is that even when I know how things turn out, the tension is unrelenting as they try to overcome life-threatening problem after problem. To top it off, there are two scenes that bring a tear to my eye: the scene when Lovell's son knows there is a problem and asks, "is it the door", and the climax in the control room when they have made it. I do not see how this could have been a more well-made and exciting film. A 20 and in my all-time top 50.
I don't remember seeing this anywhere on your list. Hmm. If it means anything, I was in between a 14 and 15 on this one.
I was actually discussing this tonight with a friend on our way to watch a movie. He agreed with me that it's just too much a movie. I wondered if it's because the actors are so recognizable. It's hard to imagine Forest Gump being put in charge of a mission to the moon. But everything--the music, the acting (it just looks like acting to me, like they were all going for awards or something instead of bringing characters to life), the storytelling--reminds me that I'm watching a movie instead of having an experience.
I love how the little door kid is in the movie exactly two times...once to set up the "Is it the door?" line for later and a second time to deliver the line. Ok, he's in there a few more times maybe.
For me, there was no real tension in this one.
I think you could criticize any movie with known actors and ambition if you view it that harshly. The same could be said of the very cynical view of the scene with the boy. I think he is in more than the two scenes and any emotional payoff in a film has a set-up. I thought it was very touching and not clumsy or manipulative.
"Apollo 13" takes an extrodinary true story and does an incredible job of blending big budget effects with touching human stories. Again, WOW and t.o.t.a.l.l.y. d.i.s.a.g.r.e.e.
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