The Monster Squad

1987 children's horror movie

Rating: 4/20

Plot: Some really dorky kids form a monster club, somehow get Fonzi to join them, and retreat to a clubhouse where they talk about monsters and plan for the events of this movie. Then Dracula, after recruiting a wolf man, Frankenstein's monster, a swamp thing, and some famale vampires, arrives to take over the earth or something and look for Van Helsing's diary which the main character's mother just happened to pick up at a yard sale that day. A German fellow and the main character's father, who since this is a movie from the 80's must find a way to reconnect with his son, help out.

This script was terrible. A pet peeve of mine is kids cursing in movies. This one annoyed me right off the bat, and then creeped me out later when there was a discussion of a five-year-old girl's virginity. The special effects in The Monster Squad were worse than they were in the 1940's classic monster movies which this movie seems to be pissing all over. Another pet peeve of mine is bad child acting, and this had about forty-seven examples of it. If it was bad in a funny way, I could forgive and forget, but this was just bad. Offensive bad. A student actually brought this in to watch instead of Apollo 13. I told him no, but he told me to take it home and watch it anyway. Now I'm probably going to fail the kid.