The Natural History of the Chicken

2000 documentary

Rating: 16/20

Plot: Chickens.

This is from Mark Lewis, the guy responsible for Cane Toads: An Unnatural History, another entertaining and unusual documentary. This is chickens and it's a natural history. Really, it has a lot more to do with people and their relationships with chickens than chickens themselves, and it really couldn't be more entertaining. In fact, it might be "eggsactly what you're looking for" if you want something that will make you laugh and, if you're anything like me, just feel a whole lot better about the world in general. There's a lot of yodeling though. It sounds like the music in Raising Arizona which is from the throat of Pete Seeger if I'm remembering correctly. You get to see a woman in Maine with sixteen chickens, chickens she refers to as her "friends." Her story is one where she resuscitates her once-lost-but-now-found-frozen chicken with CPR. It's an odd enough story, but here it's portrayed with reenactments complete with dramatic music, and it's hilariously awesome. That's juxtaposed with shots of incubators and fattening facilities where week-old chicks are pushed along a conveyor belt and vaccinated roughly. You get a tale of a guy who likes roosters and the noise pollution that his neighbors complain about; a guy in overalls imitating chickens; a red-haired lady who blow-dries her Pavarotti-loving rooster that she refers to as her "soul mate," writes poetry about, and dresses in something she calls "panties;" a chicken whisperer; a guy named Elwynjohn who spins a yarn about a headless chicken named Mike that lived ("That's when I started thinking, 'Boy, I'd like to have that.'"); a guy's story about one of his chickens and a hawk (again reenacted, seemingly without special effects which is remarkable) that will more than likely make a believer out of you. What you'll believe in is beyond me, but you'll believe in something! Pretty awesome stuff, despite that "eggsactly" pun.

Bobby Fischer Against the World

2011 documentary

Rating: 17/20

Plot: A look at the life and too-brief professional career of the titular chess player with a focus on his 1972 world championship match against Boris Spassky. [Spoiler Alert!] He loses his mind.

I think most people know the basics of the Bobby Fischer story, a story about a chess genius with a very troubled mind who wasn't very pleasant. People probably know all about the Cold War implications and how that 1972 match was a lot more than a series of games. And they might know what happened with Fischer following that match with Spassky in Iceland, how he alienated a lot of people, withdrew from society, made more than his fair share of racist comments, and seemed a little too happy about the terrorist attack on 9/11. This documentary on the guy isn't going to make anybody like him more, but it does deepen your understand about the guy as a human being, especially when describing his younger days growing up in New York with his mother and sister. This starts with an Albert Einstein quote that I hadn't heard:

"Chess holds its master in its own bonds, shackling the mind and brain so that the inner freedom of the very strongest must suffer."

And for the first part of the story, you get a portrait of a young artist at work, a picture colored with a ton of hard work and shaded with paranoia. Oh, and a little cockiness, cockiness that seems at odds with the real Bobby Fischer that we think we discover in this thing. The hard work aspect can be appreciated in the description of Fischer's athletic trainer (yes, this was a real thing) of the chess player working with a dynamometer and wanting to strengthen his grip so that "that little Russian" will be able to feel his handshake. And yes, ladies, there is a naked shot (from behind) of the chess master.

You know, I want to pause here to brag about my own chess abilities a little bit. I had a friend growing up named John, and like a lot of my friends, John had a father. His dad was a professor in the English department at Indiana State University, and I had a couple classes with him later on. John and I played chess, and I played a game with his dad once. It was a tight game that ended in a draw. The remarkable thing about that--and the thing that will more than likely impress my 4 1/2 readers--is that John's dad once played a game against Bobby Fischer, a game that also ended in a draw. Sure, that game was one of at least forty that Fischer was playing simultaneously as some exhibition of his prowess, but I don't think this changes the fact that I was just as good as Bobby Fischer.

But I digress. Back to the documentary. This is one of those documentaries where you know exactly how things end up but there still manages to be all this suspense in the little things. I've played over every game from the Fischer/Spassky match, some more than once, but I was still on the edge of my seat wondering if America was going to get Fischer to Iceland to even start the match. As a chess player, I almost wish there was more of an emphasis on the games and what happened even though that would have been frustrating for people who don't know or like the game. The match was described in a way to help you feel the psychological stuff that these players must have been going through. Of course, Fischer said famously, "I don't believe in psychology. I believe in good moves," but you can see how uneasy he is with everything that is happening around him during his stay in Iceland. And then Spassky spazzes out over chair and lights and radiation, and it just goes to show you how evil this board game can be. Fischer's story is one of the great "What if?" stories, and although it will likely make you ask the same sorts of questions, it will also help you understand his damaged mind and disagreeable personality a little more. I went in a little angry at the guy for his racist rants and wasted potential. By the end, I felt a little sorry for the guy. The details of his early life, a simple description (and some photographs) of how he enjoyed being around animals, and his last words were all touching. Those last words, although I find it almost impossible to believe: "Nothing is so healing as the human touch." Wow.

Animals Are Beautiful People

1974 nature documentary

Rating: 17/20

Plot: A look at life in an African desert.

Jamie Uys, director of The Gods Must Be Crazy, made this thing. Paddy O'Byrne narrates these animal antics, and there's a sense of humor that keeps this thing fresh and entertaining. That and the remarkable lives of these animals who have adapted to survive in a harsh climate in fascinating ways. There are a lot of beautiful things to see here, and at times, with the visuals put to a largely classical score, this out-Fantasias Fantasia. Of course, a lot of things in nature are beautiful only because they're kind of ugly and a lot of things in nature are beautiful because they're unusual. Both of those apply here. There are great lessons in this for actual people--not just animals who Paddy O'Byrne calls people. Watching the guide bird and honey badger's symbiotic relationship is amazing, showing the capabilities of species when they team up. Uys uses a lot of added sound effects, mostly for humor, and some very cheap visual effects, but this is mostly the result of filming animals for several years and then piecing it together in a narrative. And you get to see things you wouldn't otherwise get to see. I'd love to have the life of a the bird who spends 95% of his life just standing around like a stuffed bird. There's a scene where an ostrich chases a monkey followed by a guy acting like an ostrich. There are drunk animals, birds crapping out of tree slits, colorful worms, hiccupping worms in dancing seeds. I do feel sorry for the hyenas though. Paddy O'Byrne really trashes those guys. One of my favorite scenes had actual humans, bushmen teaching their children about animals by using pantomime. It was captivating, probably something I could have watched for an hour. This is one of the more entertaining nature documentaries that I've ever seen, and it manages to beat a trip to the zoo where you actually get to see some these guys up close.

The Achievers: The Story of the Lebowski Fans

2009 documentary

Rating: 13/20

Plot: A look at gatherings of fans of The Big Lebowski.

I like this movie as much as guy, but these people take it to the extreme. Initially, it kind of annoyed me, but they're not harming a soul, are able to connect with people they have something in common with, and seem to be enjoying themselves. This focuses on a lot of the titular fans, and I just didn't care that much about them. I did enjoy some of the little details about the writing of and making of the movie. You get to see how fans of this movie that was overlooked in theaters can turn people with very very small roles into near legends, and there's something kind of cool about that. James Hoosier, the rotund gentleman who plays Jesus's friend, has been in exactly one movie. And he gets maybe a couple minutes of screen time. However, in this documentary, he shows up at a bowling alley for one of these Lebowski fests and gets himself a standing ovation. Jeff Bridges also shows up to one of these to remind everybody just how cool he is, and you get to meet the guys who The Dude and Walter's characters are based on. Most of the movie showcases those fanatics though as they compete in trivia and dress-up competitions.

Winning Time: Reggie Miller vs. The New York Knicks

2010 sports documentary

Rating: 14/20

Plot: Details the mid-90's rivalry between the New York Knicks and their mascot Spike Lee and the Indiana Pacers and their flopping superstar Reggie Miller.

I don't watch a lot of professional basketball. Actually, I went over ten years without watching an NBA game until the playoffs last year when I accidentally watched some Pacers vs. Heat games. I just don't have any interest in the sport, one filled with far too much showboating and whining. With the current success of my hometown team, however, I started getting a little more interested and watched this documentary on an off-night. I did watch some NBA in the mid-90's, and I remember the famous Spike Lee game so well. I already liked Reggie Miller, the kind of player who you'd probably hate if he wasn't on your team, but this turned him into a legend. This documentary does a great job revisiting the two playoff series these beleaguered franchises played in consecutive years. It's completely objective, so you don't really side with Spike Lee or the Knicks players or Reggie Miller as they're Rashomonly describing the goings-on in these games. Of course, when Spike Lee claims the Ku Klux Klan started in Indiana, a "fact" that he just didn't get right, he does lose a little credibility. Miller comes across like a charming little devil though, the kind of guy who you know you can't really trust but like well enough anyway. It was also nice to hear a lot from Reggie's sister Cheryl Miller who I didn't realize was as good as she was at this game. This documentary is either well made or these games were just that thrilling because even though I remembered how they turned out, I was still on the edge of my seat while they were being described.

Fog of War

2003 documentary

Rating: 17/20

Plot: Some old guy talks about war.

Cory recommended this about 3 1/2 years ago, but I'm not sure why I didn't watch it long before anyway. It's Errol Morris, and Philip Glass scored the thing. Errol Morris has never made a bad documentary, and there has never been a bad documentary scored by Philip Glass. That's a winning combination. I did like the music here, and Morris's style--which always seems not-quite-professional to me--gives this an interesting pace. It really is an hour and forty minutes of an old guy talking with a mix of archival footage, archival conversations, typewriter simulation, war footage, skull dropping experiments, and close-ups of nasty teeth. There are little touches--a freezing on McNamara's face while he still talks--that give this some flash, but this isn't something that should be mandatory viewing for Americans because of the documentary style. It's the message of these 11 lessons where McNamara talks about things that are scary because they really could happen, things that are scary because they almost happened, and things that are scary because they actually did happen. There's real tension in a chilling story about how we were "this close" to nuclear war, and that's despite me having a rudimentary knowledge of 60's history and knowing how it all turned out. I also found his discussion of Kennedy's death very touching. This one guy lived so much history, and it was amazing to watch him tell about what he's learned from it all. You know, because those who don't know their history are doomed to repeat it, and all.

Beauty Is Embarrassing

2012 documentary

Rating: 16/20

Plot: The life and work of a unique artist, Wayne White, a guy who writes dirty words on landscape paintings and made puppets with Pee Wee Herman.

Add this to the pile of documentaries about weird artists or otherwise-abnormal individuals that I like. White's an interesting guy because of his background in the hills of West Virginia or someplace like the hills of West Virginia and his emergence as this creative force in what I'd imagine is an area not known for treatin' people who make art kindly. I like art that seems to have been made by an artist who only wants to please himself. I also like my art with a dose of irreverence; the less serious the art, the more likely that I'll appreciate it, and White's funny word paintings don't really say much of anything but made the teenager inside me (poor choice of words?) giggle (that makes it worse, right?). That's the part of me that appreciates art, by the way--the immature side of me. It's the same reason I'd still watch Pee Wee's Playhouse, and White was a puppet-creating machine and puppeteer on that show. Seeing a bit of the behind-the-scenes stuff with that show was really great for this fan, of course. I also liked watching him make and then wear a giant LBJ head, and a gigantic and gigantically goofy museum piece was about the most whimsical piece of art that I've ever seen. This is a funny and inspiring documentary that almost approaches touching at one point, and I really enjoyed it. I just love creative people, and the world would be better off--at least way more interesting--if it was inhabited by more Wayne Whites.

My favorite part: White says, "You're only going to be on this earth for 80 years, so you better get on it. Time's running out." And then the next shot is him dancing in a giant LBJ mask. Beautiful editing there. 

My brother recommended this to me because he had noticed that I hadn't used the word "whimsical" on the blog for a while.

Here's a word painting that I stole from somebody on the Internet:

Cane Toads: An Unnatural History

1988 documentary

Rating: 15/20 (Lance: 2/20)

Plot: In an effort to battle cane grubs that were ruining crops, the titular toads were brought in to Queensland. They didn't do much to get rid of the grubs, but they did reproduce like crazy and are now ubiquitous and, for a lot of Australians, annoying.

Lance earned himself a detention which, because I'm too lazy to turn in paperwork, ended up being in my room. I'd had this for about a week, and it was the third time I had a copy from Netflix. The other two discs were cracked. I had to watch it and get it in the mail, so I let Lance watch it during his detention. Since there is some pretty graphic cane toad sex, I probably shouldn't have. And this is now, believe it or not, the second time I've shown a video featuring necrophilia to eighth graders, so it's surprising that I still have a job. Toad necrophilia, and the kid only gives it a 2/20?

This starts like a typical documentary, but there's a lot of weirdness here. The interviewees have lines like they think they're in a  Christopher Guest movie, stuff about getting "those cane grubs by the balls." I liked a scientist who, right before he popped one of the toads poison sacs to demonstrate the cane toads' poison sacs, said, "You should wear glasses if you're going to engage in this kind of behavior." He also warns that "children being what they are will probably put them in their mouths and suck on them." Another odd character smokes the toad poison, claiming that it allows him to see the world through the eyes of the toad. Another guy imitates the toad's courting noises and claims, "I've had 'em try to mate with my foot." He also reminds us that cane toads can't fly and almost, I think, starts laughing. Speaking of their mating sounds, one guy really likes these toads, especially that sound. He's almost in tears while talking about these things. A reference to Lady Diana and Prince Charles and a gift of a toad-skin-bound book, a failed attempts at a statue, a staged sequence with a guy showering that is edited Psycho-esquely like a horror movie, another staged scene with "Edgar," a dead cat story, a stuttering guy talking about goldfish, and other oddness make this a fun little documentary about something that I actually have no interest in. Oh, and there's a scene where a cane toad eats a mouse that had me pumping my fist. The scene in my room was like this:

Me: Oh, yeah! He's going to get him!
Lance: [silence]
Me: He's going to get him! Come on! Come on!
Lance: [silence]
Me: Eat him! Come on--get him! Here it comes!
Lance: [silence]
Cane Toad: [Gets him]
Me: [Fist pump!] Yeah!
Lance: There's something wrong with you.

Bowling for Columbine

2002 documentary

Rating: 16/20

Plot: Michael Moore pisses off gun nuts.

I had one person, one of those guys who doesn't really understand the Constitution or especially the 2nd Amendment, tell me that Michael Moore says in this movie that people should have their guns taken away. I have seen this twice, and I must have missed that part both times. Michael Moore isn't always fair and he is guilty of using propaganda techniques to sell his ideas, but there's really no point in this movie where the filmmaker points a definitive finger. That might be the documentary's fault actually. Moore raises questions about violence in America, specifically gun violence, but doesn't really answer them. This is very well researched, and there's a wealth of information about our gun laws, tragedies like Columbine, violence in the U.S. compared to other countries (some with nearly identical laws), America's bloody history, and often insane reaction to violent acts. Conservatives who hate Michael Moore will find lots to hate here because there's lots of Michael Moore in this. And they'll kneejerk, saying that Michael Moore is telling everybody that we should do this or that we should do that, but I just don't see it here. As I said, he's exploring this issue that really needed to be explored 10 years ago in the wake of Columbine and, sadly, needs explored just as much today in the wake of Newtown. The most important thing to learn from all this is that there isn't a simple answer to the problem but that there is very definitely a problem. Like all Moore's documentaries, this is presented in a way that makes it all as humorous and as entertaining as it is tragic or troublesome. Scenes where Moore gets himself a gun at a bank or attempts discussion with Dick Clark (a pointless scene, one example of where this meanders a little more than it should) or Charlton Heston are typical of the director. There are also conversations with Terry Nichols' brother John Nichols, one that also manages to be both chilling and humorous as he refers to Timothy McVeigh as a "nice guy" and says he isn't familiar with Gandhi; shock rocker Marilyn Manson who makes a lot more sense than he should; and Matt Stone, odd to me since I just saw a Michael Moore marionette explode in Team America: World Police. Oh, and few clips of scantily-clad women holding machine guns which, as anti-machine-gun as I am can still appreciate as a warm-blooded American male. Most chilling to me: the 911 calls over the security camera footage of Columbine and Charlton Heston speech footage juxtaposed with a father of one of the victims of that tragedy. This is an important movie, just as important as it was 10 years ago, and I suspect that people who have negative things to say about it ("Michael Moore wants to take our guns away!" or "This movie is filled with lies!") haven't even seen it.

"Take the Skinheads Bowling" is one of my favorite songs ever, by the way. There's a cover of it here over the credits. It's Teenage Fanclub though I prefer the original Camper van Beethoven version.

I would also like to point out that Michael Moore, according to Michael Moore on Twitter, has not made a dime from this movie. I'm not sure if that's important or not.

America the Beautiful

1996 documentary

Rating: 13/20

Plot: It was Christmas Eve, and I had grown bored with Tetris. I was having trouble breathing, and my back hurt. I was looking for the worst Christmas movie ever made, but I stumbled upon this documentary instead and decided to watch it. I had to watch it in four installments.

It wasn't this documentary. I didn't watch America the Beautiful and have no interest in watching it. I watched a different documentary instead, one about dogs and Nazis and babies. Oh, and there was a bird in there, too, but the bird refused to cooperate. The filmmaker's voice bugged me a little, and this investigation into the subject matter seemed personal and not all that deep. It was superficial giggling, and that's fine, especially here on Christmas Eve, but it doesn't quite justify the existence of itself or sweeten anything after a long day of fishing. If you know what I mean. You probably don't!

Anyway, happy holidays, readers!

Ferrets: The Pursuit of Excellence

2007 PBS documentary

Rating: 14/20

Plot: Ferret owners talk about their pets as they prepare for the annual Buckeye Bash, a sort of perverse ferret beauty contest.

My brother recommended this. I might have the title all turned around. This appears to be a television program called The Pursuit of Excellence and this is an episode about ferrets. I just like how Ferrets: The Pursuit of Excellence sounds though, so I'm sticking with that. Mark compared it to the work of Christopher Guest which is pretty accurate. These ferret owners are almost too strange to be real, but I'm only a little bit ashamed to admit that I felt that I was laughing at them instead of with them the entire time. When they say things like "Ferrets are my reason for being," sing seemingly endless songs about the animals while wearing tie-dyed shirts, discuss "Rainbow Bridge" which is apparently some kind of ferret heaven, dress up their miserable-looking animals, and or make claims that ferrets are somehow special because "if they die, they accept it," it's kind of hard not to want to poke fun. Cuteness abounds, but this is definitely more about the owners of these pets than the pets themselves. If you're looking for a little "Which ferret is going to win" type suspense or a feel-good story about an underdog ferret winning at the Buckeye Bash, you'll be disappointed. You just won't care very much at all. And it's a little anticlimactic when there are 327 ferrets at the competition and 400 ribbons are given out. Still, this is an entertaining little documentary, one that probably would appeal to fans of Guest's mockumentaries.

Buskers: For Love or Money

2008 documentary

Rating: 14/20

Plot: A look at the lives and art of the titular street performers.

This is directed by Mad Chat Taylor who juggles chainsaws at Venice Beach. It's an interesting subject matter, but it's not a terrible interesting movie, especially for one about people who make their living playing with fire, balancing on things in slightly-dangerous ways, juggling, unicycling, escaping from things, and breakdancing. I do like the idea that "all great artists have had a deficiency of some kind," and it was fun seeing some old archival footage of some of the performers in this thing. Most of the performance footage, however, felt a little flat, almost like you actually have to be there experiencing it in the flesh 'n' blood for it to be any fun. I guess that's why people don't watch circuses on televisions. This will probably be satisfying for anybody with an interest in the topic.

The Gods of Times Square

1999 documentary

Rating: 15/20

Plot: A look at religious zealots and street preachers along the sleazy 42nd Street around the time a Disney Store is put in.

This documents a very specific time and place, and it really couldn't be more fascinating. I like documentaries where somebody's just letting a camera roll to capture whatever's captured, and this works best when it does that. A whole sanctuary full of general oddballery here. There's a preacher rapping about "roasting on your roaster while you're toasting on your toaster while you're coasting on your coaster" because "God's gonna treat you like a butterball turkey." Shots of street performers, a woman with two pairs of sunglasses, lots of Calvin Klein advertisements, and strip joint facades interrupt interview snippets with some positively creepy folk, most who seem anywhere between slightly and extraordinarily unhinged. Militant black guys call for a war with whites, and director Richard Sandler and his testicles argues with one of them. There's a guy who claims to be Jesus returned as a grunge musician who is going to first marry Madonna and later get into international affairs. There's a soulful guy who throws in the old "to the break of dawn" rap cliche. There's somebody calling for "faggots hung from lightposts throughout the city" after the faggot Olympics. Mickey Mouse as the Antichrist (I knew it!), Mom and Pop hot dog joint sadness, recurring folk filled with the Holy Spirit. This is a funky montage, filled with characters with eclectic spiritual beliefs. Some of these people even have conflicting religious beliefs within themselves, including the director who claims to be both Buddhist and Jewish at different points. Speaking of him--there are times when I'm bugged by his voice. When he speaks, things get a little frustrating and unfocused, and I thought there were a few times when he was condescending. One other thing that annoyed me was this belligerent fellow who later said he was a substitute teacher. He was so completely rude that I wondered if he was for real. No way a person's going to really act like that. Still, a fascinating document that will very likely make a believer out of you.

Recommended by Matt.

Atomic Cafe

1982 documentary

Rating: 17/20

Plot: A compilation of bomb testing footage, important people saying things, propaganda films, and atomic bomb survival videos from the 40s-60s. Uncle Sam's message was very clear: American citizens don't really have to worry about the atomic bomb, especially if they happen to be turtles.

When I was a kid, nuclear war was on my mind all the time, so a lot of this footage is kind of terrifying. A lot more of it is disgusting or creepy, and a lot of it is hilarious, and that's what makes this such an enjoyable movie experience. All of this sans narration makes it work so much better. It's there, objectively, and although what the filmmakers have chosen to give us might be subjective, the chronological look at the history of the big bomb is really just there for the viewer to put the pieces together on their own. The propaganda films seem so tasteless sixty years after. Blowing up Statues of Liberty, small Wisconsin town exploitation, island natives near bomb testing sites completely understanding exactly what is going on while "You Are My Sunshine" is used in the background. It's enough to make any freedom-loving American sick to his stomach. And then you add a shot of a giggling Truman right before his "two billion dollar gamble" announcement or a crowd laughing after Nagasaki's described as looking "like Ebbet's Field after a double header with the Giants," and it makes you wonder who the bad guys really were. It definitely makes one feel really good about our government. Luckily, there's no dishonesty in our present times. As I mentioned, this isn't all gloomy. The nuclear protection get-ups are often hilarious, and that "God Will Hit Like an Atomic Bomb" song is about the catchiest thing you'll ever hear. "Everybody's worried about the atomic bomb, but nobody's worried about the day my lord will come." This is just stuffed with images that will forever be tattoed in the mind. I don't think I'll ever forget that testing video footage that showed soldiers running toward a mushroom cloud.

How dumb were kids growing up in the 50s and 60s, by the way? Duck and cover? I can imagine what my smartass middle schoolers would say to something like that. And I know how dumb they are!

Her Master's Voice

2012 ventriloquist bereavement documentary

Rating: 14/20

Plot: Nina Conti and her little monkey travel to a a place called Venthaven which is like a cemetery for ventriloquist dummies whose owners have died. She takes along a few of her mentor's puppet's, first spending some time at a ventriloquist convention. And I believe she and one of the puppets (the one sporting wood throughout the trip) actually "do it."

There's a "Distant Voice Expert" in this named Nacho Estrada. Seriously, how badass a name is that? If my name was Nacho Estrada, I wouldn't spend any time at all with puppets. I'd just walk around referring to myself in the third person, often in a menacing way.

As tempted as you might be to see this movie based on the poster, believing that there really might be some girl-on-puppet action, I don't recall anything like that happening. But there is a very strange scene where she disrobes the old lady puppet and takes it with her into the hotel pool. That's the kind of people you're dealing with here--these ventriloquists. I enjoy puppets more than most adult, but I'm pretty sure I'd be uncomfortable hanging around with a ventriloquist. Can they be trusted? Do I dare look at the human mouth while the puppet is talking? If insulted, do I take a swing at the puppet or the ventriloquist? It's just too much to think about.

I liked Conti fine. She's maybe one of the cutest female ventriloquists out there, and she's really good at her craft. Her main puppet--a monkey--is about the most boring ventriloquist dummies that I've ever seen. It looks like something you could buy at a dollar store or something. Conti's funny enough with her monkey, but I liked her versatility with the other puppets more, a kind of exploration as she tried to find their individual voices and personalities. And there was this idea running throughout the movie, from the work of Conti's mentor to all the other ventriloquists, that these dummies are really a device to make the complete insanity of the artist acceptable. I liked that. There was even a quote--"Creation and insanity are almost the same thing." Of course, the stuff at the ventriloquist convention was fun for me. Like most Americans, I'm easily amused, and watching the creativity and trickery of a lot of those artists was great. And you just know they're all checking out each other's mouths. The whole thing builds to the trip to puppet heaven with all those sad-looking dummies without voices. There was something touching about the whole thing.

The Times of Harvey Milk

1984 documentary

Rating: 17/20

Plot: The assassination of Harvey Milk by that coward Dan White.

OK, so this is about more than the assassination. The assassination bookends the story, but the bulk of this is about the life and political career of the titular gay guy, and it's absolutely impossible to watch this and not think one thing: Aside from his sexual proclivities, which for reasons that I'll never understand really bother some people, the world could use a lot more Harvey Milks. At least more people just as caring and compassionate. The leadership skills displayed in this documentary are inspiring, and what he was able to accomplish in less than a year really makes you wonder why more can't get done by other politicians. I was surprised that this was made so soon after the assassination. Six years? Is that right? I'm guessing it helped the story have a wider reach and enough steam to reach Sean Penn. I wasn't very old when this happened, so I'm not sure if this was a big news story nationally. To be honest, I think I first heard of Harvey Milk when the Sean Penn movie came out. I had a wild range of emotions while watching this one. The recording of Milk reading from his will was chillingly prescient with Milk "knowing that I could be assassinated at any time." After the murder and the court case, I was as angry as I've ever been watching a documentary about something that happened over thirty years ago. I had to pause the dvd, go outside, and throw a rock through the window of a Radio Shack. And of course there was the shock in finding out that it was junk food that really drove Dan White to do what he did. And the candlelight vigil brought tears to my eyes, partially because I don't like seeing people sad en masse but also because of the amount of support for, I assume, what Milk represented. And what did he represent? I guess that would be hope since the movie ends with Milk saying that life isn't worth living without it. This is a well-built and moving documentary that everybody should watch.

The Gleaners and I

2000 documentary

Rating: 17/20

Plot: Agnes Varda travels France with her little handheld camera in search of the "another men" who find treasure in one man's trash. She films people who glean for survival, for ethical reasons, and for art.

"A clock with no hands is my kind of thing."

I really think Agnes Varda went into this film with an agenda, a plan. Still, it seems freeform and more like a chronicle or an exploration, and a lot of what is likable about a movie like this is how much of a blast I think she's having making the movie. I've written about funny little Varda here and here, and I'm almost embarrassed by the latter since I wrote it in an apparent whiny mood. Her style here is about the same as The Beaches of Agnes, and it's just as personal although the camera isn't turned on herself nearly as much. She does film her own hand quite a bit though. And when she asks questions like "Where does play end and art start?", it really seems like a personal statement for her. There's a playful quality to this that doesn't take away from its emotional depth or profound themes. She shows footage of when she forgot to turn off her camera and filmed the ground with her lens cap "dancing" around. "The cap had stopped its craziness," she says. She shows footage of random animals that have nothing to do with the documentary subject, and also leaves in this obnoxious guy on the street who saw her camera and started waving. I guess that's what she gleans. This playfulness and willingness to show a lot of the frilly edges, a lot of the minutia that other documentarians addressing a similar subject matter would leave out reminds me of a Werner Herzog or Errol Morris. I was touched and amused by the whole thing. And I learned that Rembrandt sort of looked like Bob Dylan. I had more interests in the artists she interviewed than the people looking for potatoes or radishes in the harvested fields. The guy's totem towers made from trash and doll heads was really awesome. Another guy who made art out of trash was even wearing Zubaz, probably because he knew how to "embrace the awesome." By the way, shop at Zubaz.com today and get yourself a discount on
red, white, and blue things. I was most interested in a guy with a good job/salary who salvages and eats 100% garbage for ethical reasons. He claimed that he hadn't been ill in fifteen years. I also liked the guy who said, "Here's an apple that has nothing going for it. It's like an ugly and stupid woman." And I swear there's a scene where Agnes is rapping. This is well worth seeing.

And hey, if you do buy a pair of Zubaz today, be sure to tell them that I sent you. I appreciate your support.

La Course en Tete

1974 cycling documentary

Rating: 13/20 (Mark: 15/20)

Plot: A look at Belgium cycling superstar Eddy Merckx as he trains and races and juggles a family life.

Best thing about this one: I get to use my "bagpipes" label. A bagpipe-heavy score, by the way, never really made sense to me. I was tricked into watching this by my brother who translated La Course en Tete as "The Way of the Tits" and told me it was "boob kung-fu" which, as a warm-blooded American male, I was excited about. And then this didn't have kung-fu or boobs, just a bunch of cycling. And I mean lots of cycling. For the cycling enthusiast, this might make a lot of sense on its own. I had to have a lot explained to me by a cycling enthusiast, almost as much I need comic book movies explained to me by comic book enthusiasts. I also had problems with the chronology of this, and I suspect that it was all sort of random. There was a lot of exciting cycling action, but after a while, enough was enough. Once this hit the four hour mark, I had hit my limit. I did come away with a respect for Eddy Merckx though which I suppose was the point. My favorite bits: an opening montage of a bunch of old-timey bicycle footage and a later montage of a lot of horrendous accidents. One of those probably was accompanied by inexplicable bagpipe music.

Popatopolis

2009 documentary

Rating: 14/20

Plot: C-Movie directing icon Jim Wynorski attempts to make a feature-length film called Witches of Breastwick in three days.

I'm not familiar with Wynorski's work, but he makes the type of movies I hate to love. His famous is 1996's Chopping Mall. And yes, Witches of Breastwick was finished and released and even got a sequel. He likes boobs a lot. Here's a list of a bunch of his other movies:

Busty Coeds vs. Lusty Cheerleaders
Piranhaconda
Dinocroc vs. Supergator
Busty Cops 1 and 2
Busty Cops and the Jewel of Denial
Busy Cops Go Hawaiian
The Hills Have Thighs
Cleavagefield
The Devil Wears Nada
The Lusty Busy Babe-a-que
Bone Eater
House on Hooter Hill
The Breastford Wives
The Da Vinci Coed
Alabama Jones and the Busty Crusade
Bad Bizness
Cheerleader Massacre
The Bare Wench Project (and its sequels The Bare Wench Project 2: Scared Topless and The Bare Wench Project 3: Nymphs of Mystery Mountain)
Scream Queen Hot Tub Party
Munchie (and Munchie Strikes Back)
Ghoulies I-IV
976-Evil I and II
Sorority House Massacre II (I don't see a 1)
Big Bad Mama II (don't see a 1 for this one either)

It's 90 titles in a little over 25 years. Let's see Martin Scorsese top that!

There's some footage from previous movies to give you a taste of Wynorski's repertoire. His claim is that all you need is "big chase plus big chest" and you've got yourself a winner. He's also, although maybe not a great filmmaker, really smart as evidenced by his ability to make quick films based on current movie trends. For example, his Dinosaur Island was made for 190K in order to take advantage of the Jurassic Park craze. His frequent collaborators, most who have a love-hate relationship with the guy, talk about his past failures and notable triumphs, my favorite being his direction of some extras with the words "Run, you fucking monks, run!" The documentarian also interviews his mother who hasn't seen many of his movies but who really liked Chopping Mall. She didn't like the nudity in it though. "Nudity. Why did he have to do that? You just didn't do that. Not even in your own house did you do that." What? Most of the movie chronicles Wynorski's attempt to make the movie in three days and the problems that arise when one attempts to make a movie in three days. As a connoisseur of bad films, I enjoyed watching the process, and Wynorski himself, quite the asshole, was interesting as either this really complex guy or this really simple guy. On the one hand, he's simple to pin down as a guy who enjoys boobs and fire. On the other hand, you wonder what he really wants with his career and what he could have been if some breaks would have bounced his way. There's one absolutely painful five minutes where an actress named Julie, classically trained, tries to deliver a line about a tow truck. She does have a fantastic rack, however.

The People vs. George Lucas

2010 documentary

Rating: 14/20

Plot: A look at the titular director, the man who became a corporate machine--not unlike his samurai-influenced creation, Darth Vader. Well, Anakin didn't become a corporation exactly, but you get the idea.

That's one of the interesting points this another-Star-Wars documentary suggested. Don't assume this is all a (probably juvenile) fanboy attack on George Lucas, somebody who's just upset at the midichlorians and Jar Jar Binks or who-shot-who-first, though all three of those are ranted against quite a bit. Yes, most of this--the emphasis on Lucas as an ultra-capitalist, the seemingly endless tinkering with the "finished" films, the disappointment of the second trilogy--is negative, but the tone is often more sympathetic than vicious or attacking. There's a lot packed into this 90 minutes--tons of fan rants, a few famous folks chiming in, archive footage of people of doing nutty things like camping in line for opening nights or dressing like Ugnauts, fan tribute stuff. There's a lot of footage from Star Wars Uncut. A lot is made of Lucas's inability to leave his movies alone, but it also praises him for being open to fans dicking around with his stuff. My favorite moment, a clip that I had to fight hard to keep from giving this a 35-point bonus, showed none other than Wesley Willis singing a song about Jar Jar. And speaking of Jar Jar, there's a clip from Attack of the Clones where Jar Jar looks straight at the camera with this big goofy grin, a big FU from George to haters. And I have to get my hands on the Star Wars Holiday Special because that looks like the greatest thing of all time.

I watched this in honor of A New Hope's 35th birthday.