Them!

1954 giant thing movie

Rating: 18/20 (adjusted--1 bonus point for each Wilhelm Scream)

Plot: Strange things are afoot somewhere in New Mexico. Turns out, gigantic ants, the product of nuclear testing, are causing problems. An old man, his daughter, an FBI guy, and some state policemen have to figure out a way to stop the spread of these giant insects before they destroy humanity.

The most shocking thing about this horror movie? Definitely that it isn't all that bad. From the appearance of the title (in striking red with the exclamation mark--always a bonus) to the well-done climax in Los Angeles sewers, this is really a pretty good film. There are moments of typical B-movie acting and dialogue. A couple drunkards really overdo things, and the now-late Fess Parker is amazingly awful as Mr. Crotty. I do worry that watching this movie last night played some part in the death of Fess Parker, but that doesn't make much sense. I really like some lines in this, ones that seemingly defy logic: "The blood must be 10-12 hours old." "Everything seems to indicate a homicidal maniac." The old man's order of "Get the antenny!" The old man's talk about a Biblical prophesy come true. The guy who kept shouting "Make me the sergeant in charge of the booze," something that I'm sure a fan of this movie has shouted uncontrollably during a period of inebriation. Other flaws in logic? Sure. Why is there only one ant footprint? What's 9 years have to do with anything? Why's there a ribcage? Where did these small town coppers get a couple bazookas? Are there really 700 miles of Los Angeles sewers? But you know what? None of that really matters. This movie has one dull filmstrip too many, and at times, I really wished they'd stop all the talking and get to more scenes with giant ants ("Shoot the antenny!"), but there's a lot of good here. I really like the use of props--pieces of cloth, bones, twisted guns, discombobulated baby dolls. And I really think they do a great job creating atmosphere with desert winds and wildly swinging hanging lights. I also liked the little girl, especially in the scenes where she's stunned into silence. One more note: This movie has not just one and not just two but three Wilhelm screams. My well-trained ears heard them all, probably because my ears don't have all that much to do. Jen doubted me, so I made her look it up, and sure enough, there are three Wilhelms in Them! I don't care what you say. That is just freakin' awesome.

What I learned from watching Them!: ants are kind of mean.

This was another Cory recommendation.