Female Trouble


1974 crime movie

Rating: None. Traditionally, I refuse to rate John Waters' movies.

Plot: A large woman runs away from home after she doesn't get cha-cha heels for Christmas. After being raped in a cemetery, she has a daughter who she tries to support with a career that is a hybrid of fashion modeling and crime.

I was supposed to watch this with my brother several months ago, but plans fell through. Then, he inexplicably stopped talking to me, de-friended me on Facebook, and texted me to leave him alone. So I had to watch this movie by myself instead.

I never know what to say about Waters' movies. My enjoyment of them varies, but I usually end up getting kind of sick of them around the halfway point after some of the trashy novelty wears off. This one's plot was almost intriguing, and it almost has some satirical value if you're willing to hunt for it a little.

Is this a Christmas movie? I'm only asking because I know somebody who is working on a list of the best Christmas movies of all time and would like to know if this qualifies.

It's almost like Thomas Edison invented movies so that humanity could roll into 1974 with the ability to create a scene in which Divine plays a character that rapes another character Divine is playing. It was oddly arousing. David Lochary, Mink Stole, Edith Massey, Mary Vivian Pearce, Cookie Mueller, and the rest of Waters' motley crew of thespians all appear to be having a blast making these movies, so why should I complain about anything.

The opening song, performed by Divine, is something else.

For the record, I think this movie is better than both Pink Flamingos and Desperate Living, the films that bookend it. I didn't rate those either. Maybe that's why my brother doesn't talk to me anymore actually.

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