2006 action Rating: 12/20 (Dylan: 14/20)
Plot: All of the characters from Pirates of the Caribbean: Give 'em the Rum so's He'll Stop 'is Whinin' return and huddle up to try and remember what had happened to them at the end of the last movie. A wedding is interrupted by arrest, and Captain Jack Sparrow has to find a squid-faced guy's heart so that he can pay off a debt. Then everybody else decides they might as well look for squid-faced guy's heart, too. A giant tentacled sea creature rapes a boat. Sparrow is diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome, but that doesn't stop the cannibals from trying to eat him. In the middle of the movie, the characters have to again conference to attempt to figure out what's going on, and following that, they decide to have a swordfight. CGI-pirates frolick and gesticulate, sometimes in that order and sometimes in the opposite order. The movie ends just in time for the third part of the trilogy--Pirates of the Caribbean: Where'd You Park the Boat, Matey?
I enjoyed the first of the trilogy more than I thought I would and possibly more than I should. I still like Depp's character and visually, this was a lot of fun. The computer effects don't get in the way, used more effectively to paint artistic artificial sets than the action scenes with the giant sea creature or Davy Jones' and his mutants. The story's sort of a mess, really loopy and goopy and scattered and battered, and this lacks some of the charm and fun and creativity of the first movie. Subplots and sub-subplots emerge and muddle things up. Honestly, I'm not even completely sure what's going on leading into the third movie because one character's actions seem contradictory and I couldn't even understand what another character said half the time. The stunts and action scenes in this were over-the-top (the hour-and-an-half sword fight, the escape from the cannibals), but there's enough excitement in this, as well as more than enough attractive imagery, to make this worthwhile.
Note: There are a pair of pirates used for comic effect in this. They're sort of the R2-D2 and C-3PO of the Caribbean. I looked up the one with the artificial eye because he seemed familiar and remembered that he was the guy from The Office (the boring English version, not the superior American one). His first film credit is something I absolutely have to see--The Man Who Fell in Love with a Traffic Cone. Come on!
5 comments:
Larst, I'm wondering if you've seen these. I know you have a sweet spot for all things nautical but wonder if this is a bit too, well, pretty and Disney-fied for your tastes.
seen 'em all in the theatre with the wife, and have never been more bored. like really bored. maybe i was more bored when i saw disney's black hole in kindergarten or the first star trek movie, thinking there'd be laser gun fights.
i was way more moved by yr review and want Boat Rape to be th etheme of our next LP...I hate Johnny Depp because...well just because...maybe it's sexual. If Kira Knightley gained 30 pounds these movies would make better eye candy...
I don't recall being bored with the first one at all, but this one seemed to drag a little bit.
I actually like Johnny Depp. Knightley has a pretty face, reminds me of a girl I liked in high school.
Boat Rape! I'm all for it!
I like Johnny Depp too, it was the tequilla talking and i'm jealous he got to hang with HST and Gibby Haynes. I hope you were kidding about the british office...i can't even watch the american version it's so inferior.
I do like the American Office and never miss the show. Like the British version, too.
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