Lemonade Joe
1964 Czech Western musical parody
Rating: 16/20
Plot: The titular sharpshooter tries to rid a sinful town called Stetson City of whisky in the 1880s.
The good guys wear white and refuse libations while the bad guys wear black and are actually named Badman. With 1920's color tinting and slapstick, way too many songs, ridiculous fight scenes that are speeded-up, and stock characters, this both pokes fun and pays homage to Western musical comedies. It also nails capitalism as Joe seems to exist only to shill lemonade that has a name suspiciously close to Coca-Cola. Kolaloka? That's close, right? There's plenty of silliness here--a trumpeter in black face who engages in a shoot-out with the good guy in what might be the best shoot-out I ever see, a trickster bad guy named Hogofogo who probably gets the best song, a guy who eats violins, and lines like "The night is cold; I'll need to put on my woolens" preceding a climactic trip to a place called Dead Man's Valley. The hijinks make this really entertaining even though it seems to go on a little too long, and although all the parts of this remind you of things you've seen before, it all comes together uniquely and isn't really like anything you've seen before. This is the best Czech Western I've seen and much better than Blazing Saddles despite the lack of Gene Wilder. Fun stuff!
Home Alone
Rating: 13/20 (Jen: 15/20; Dylan: 11/20; Emma: 15/20; Abbey: 19/20)
Plot: Some really bad parents leave their 8-year-old home alone and fly to France for the holidays. A pair of burglars try to rob his house but are in for more than they bargain for!
Macaulay Culkin is really likable during a lot of scenes in this movie. Well, maybe during a couple scenes. Unfortunately, he's really annoying during the rest of the scenes. The spoiled-brat bad behavior stuff before he's left home alone makes me almost want to root for the burglars, and the barrage of screaming, celebrating, and cutesiness gets painful after a while. Compare Culkin to Peter Billingsley in the far-superior A Christmas Story. Billingsley, or maybe Bob Clark who directed him, understands subtlety. Culkin, although he was younger and already hooked on heroin when this was filmed, doesn't. So even though it's always funny to see Joe Pesci with the top of his head on fire or Daniel Stern getting hit in the groin, there are a lot of scenes in this where it feels like you're the one getting a blow torch to the scalp or a shot to the groin. And getting punched in the groin three times just to see somebody else punched in the groin once just isn't worth it although I think I just invented a new game show. When you see this movie a second or third or fourth or fifth time, you really feel like you're wading through a bunch of crap to get to the cool booby trap scenes at the end. Once there, you realize that they're not nearly as funny as you remember them and have nothing better to do but focus on how the scenes with Roberts Blossom (the old guy) and his shovel didn't really need to be here. Sappiness drenches this thing by the end with that father/son reunion, the mother coming back home, and all the other relatives coming back home at just the right Hollywood time.
My new favorite thing about this movie is that there are apparently people who believe Elvis makes a cameo. Of course, the King had been dead for about fourteen years, but that doesn't stop people from thinking the extra standing behind Catherine O'Hara is him:
National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation
Rating: 14/20 (Jen: 14/20; Dylan: 13/20; Emma: 8/20; Abbey: 15/20)
Plot: Clark Griswold has family over for the holidays and tries his best to give them the perfect Christmas. Meanwhile, he awaits his Christmas bonus check so that he can feel more comfortable about the deposit he put on a backyard pool. Things unravel slapstickily.
This was never one of my favorites though I've seen it countless times. Like the superior A Christmas Story, there's a very thin plot that's really only there to hold together the series of gags. I'm not sure any of those gags--the Christmas lights, the recurring snooty neighbor torture, the electrocuted cat, the attic imprisonment, the Christmas feast, etc.--are all that great, but they add up to something that will make most people laugh a few times around Christmas time. I'm not sure that Chevy Chase was ever as likable as he was as Clark Griswold. That's not to say he was all that likable though. Things threaten to get stale early on in this one, but Randy Quaid swoops in to save the day and steals pretty much every scene he's in. And then there's the very best thing about Christmas Vacation--the great William Hickey as Uncle Lewis. He and Aunt Bethany bring this thing to life again after it starts to lose steam again. All in all, this isn't a bad comedy to spend Christmas with if you can only tolerate a little irrelevancy and typically enjoy that characters-stepping-on-boards-and-hitting-themselves-in-the-face-and/or-testicles style of humor.
Mr. Bean's Holiday
Rating: 12/20
Plot: An idiot wins a vacation to Cannes and separates a child from his father on the way.
I don't know. If I'm not the audience for Mr. Bean, I'm not sure who is exactly. As a fan of silent comedy and Tati, I like this kind of physical comedy. The visual humor is really good in this. It's not exactly subtle or artistic, but it's always fun and lighthearted. Rowan Atkinson is such a funny-looking person that he stands out no matter where he is on the screen, for better or worse. He's gifted, mostly with the talent for looking very strange, and this movie works best when he doesn't have much to do or is engaged in pedestrian activities that have nothing to do with the overall plot I so competently described above. The problem is that this movie has Mr. Bean doing way too much. I just want to see the guy eat seafood, pose for a picture, dance a little bit (the street performer scene featuring loads of dancing was one of the best), and chase around the occasional chicken. I don't care about all this father-son nonsense. So this is a really hit 'n' miss affair, and since the hits aren't anything I'd describe as hysterical or especially memorable, the whole thing just isn't worth it. Rowan Atkinson is really good at what he does, and the character should be a lot of fun. Unfortunately, he doesn't get to be in a very good movie. One characteristic of Mr. Bean's I don't like at all: all the grunting noises that he makes.
Oprah Movie Club Pick for July: Kung Fu Hustle

Rating: 16/20
Plot: Gang turf wars disrupt the slummy harmony of Pig Sty Alley. Meanwhile, Sing and his pal--a pair of halfwit secondhand crooks--pretend to be members of the notorious Axe Gang, a plan that doesn't go very well. A lot of people get kicked as the Axe Gang wages war on Pig Sty Alley and its hidden kung-fu talent. Then, a frog man.
What a fun and completely ridiculous movie! It's got a great look, too, although you can see right through the CGI with flailing characters looking all blubbery and splitting beams looking all glitchy. But it's just got this crisp look, and the dark but colorful 1930s world created in the opening scenes is really well done. Pig Sty Alley looks great, too, almost like a set Tati would have constructed for a movie. One great scene has the camera whisking through the town to show what its inhabitants are up to--they're swatting flies, engaging in a little domestic violence, playing checkers, apparently pooping. And the way the camera moves around the characters gives this a freshness that appeals to me. The irreverence gives this a manic edge, a wackiness that might make you wonder if insanity and/or drugs were involved, almost like the type of action movie a very clever four year old would make after he's devoured the pudding and Fruit Loops. But the martial arts action is legit. Star/writer/director Stephen Chow spends most of the movie as a wanna-be, but he shows off the skills when needed. His best moment is when he laughs after demonstrating how evil he is by stealing ice cream. The cool-looking Axe Gang--how could you not love a group of ax-wielding bunch of thugs wearing black top hats and showcasing some great dance moves while they do their axin'-- are mostly around to give major characters something to punch. I'm just a top hat, an ax, and a few bitchin' dance moves away from heading up my own Axe Gang, by the way. The trio of kung-fu masters in Pig Sty Alley are great with their individual fists, forearm rings, and staffs, and I loved the creative choreography in the "Why don't we spar a little before we leave?" scene, one of those great scenes that really has no reason to even be in a movie. Most of the characters--The Beast, the killer Guqin assassins, the landlady, and her husband--are aided by special effects, but it doesn't make the cartoonish fight scenes any less beautiful. The springy and boinging and whooshing sound effects don't hurt things either. Warner Brothers and kung-fu mashing-up isn't that much of a stretch anyway, is it? This is Road Runner kung-fu! The comedy works only some of the time, usually when it's more visually than humor. I'm not sure how well this is translated, but the humor doesn't always translate well and the dubbed voices are pretty ridiculous. The slapstick visual humor is great though even at its most obvious or goofiest. Chow sizing up the Alley to find a "worthwhile" opponent is a clever little scene. The whole movie has a made-up-as-we-go feel, and I don't mean that as a criticism at all. There's a looseness which makes this a great its big hits and even its occasional misses a lot of fun. The lesson here, I believe, is that if you're going to go ridiculous, go completely ridiculous because half-assed ridiculousness just won't suffice. The landlady's cigarette, a character inexplicably named Doughnut (I think) who steals lines from other movies, a freaking toad man, a kitty silhouette getting sliced in two, and a little kid being urinated upon. Really, what's not to love here? This is the definitive film for immature martial arts movie fans.
I'm assuming this will go as well as the other Oprah Movie Club discussions, and I can't wait to read your thoughts about Kung Fu Hustle.
Young Frankenstein

Rating: 18/20
Plot: A descendant of Dr. Frankenstein tries his best to live a life of obscurity but can't escape his famous ancestor's reputation. He inherits his castle, gets himself a hunchbacked Igor and a sexy laboratory assistant, and finds the notorious doctor's secret library. He begins to experiment.
I'm just going to say it--Gene Wilder's work in this is the greatest acting performance of all time. Let me make sure I'm being clear here because I'm not just talking about a performance in a comedy or a performance by a person with hair like that. I'm talking about the greatest acting performance of all time. His highs and lows are pitch perfect, and so is his comic timing. And I just love it when Gene gets mad. It's exhilarating, and I would honestly not be surprised to open a National Geographic and find an article about a tribe of people in some country I've never heard of who do nothing with their time but chew on leaves and have religious experiences while watching scenes from Gene Wilder movies. Now I'll accept one argument to my claim that this is the greatest acting performance of all time. Only one though--that Gene Wilder tops himself as Wonka. I'll give you that. The psychedelic boat ride scene with that creepy poem is about as good as it gets. But his work in Young Frankenstein has got to be in the top two. The rest of this cast is great, too. Love Feldman's hammy Igor, Boyle's monster, Leachman's Frau Blucher, and Teri Garr's Inga, the latter with sex appeal that rivals Mamma Fratelli's. Kenneth Mars' inspector character isn't around much but nearly steals every scene he's in with a Peter Sellers-esque role. Not all the gags work here, expected with something that Mel Brooks put together, but when this connects, it hits hard. Fans of childish word play will have a head start. And I really like how Brooks keeps things classic with the black and white, the score, and the elongated exterior and interior shots of the castle. One could argue, by the way, that things go a little too far with a song and dance number when Frankenstein and his creation perform "Puttin' on the Ritz" as it almost clashes with that classic feel. But you know what? Just thinking about that scene cracks me up so much that it's difficult to both type and swallow. And I know that tribe in the National Geographic loves that scene. That's probably why they don't wear pants actually!
Me: Gene Wilder in Young Frankenstein--greatest performance in movie history.
Jen: Gene Wilder? What happened to his career?
Me: He had cancer.
Jen: That's not funny.
The Visitors

Rating: 16/20
Plot: A knight and his squire are transported by a senile wizard 800 years into the future. They have to simultaneously figure out life in the 20th Century while trying to return home.
This is a very amusing take on the stranger-in-a-strange land premise. leaning on slapstick and ironic situations to get more than a few laughs. It's very nearly whimsical! This film's shot well, and I really like an actor like Jean Reno in the lead role, a guy who is going to play it all so straight that it somehow makes it all even more hilarious. Narratively, this might get a little tiresome by the end, but it's a fun comic adventure and you know I'm a sucker for time travel movies that don't involve Kevin Costner. I wonder how much punnage and other word play I missed by having to read English subtitles for this one. You don't want to dig for depth with this one; it's more like a ninety minute joke peppered with punchlines, some intelligent and some dumb but most pretty funny.
Buster Keaton Saturday: Arbuckle & Keaton Volume One

Rating: n/r
Plot: Five Fatty/Buster shorts. They're bell boys, butchers, bartenders, and candlestick makers who fall down more than the average bell boys, butchers, bartenders, and candlestick makers.
Was Fatty Arbuckle the first Will Ferrell? With Ferrell, it seems like producers just think of a new job for him to do in every movie. "Let's make him a basketball player." "How about we make him a race car driver this time?" "Hey, he hasn't been a weatherman yet!" Seems to be the same with Fatty, an actor I hadn't seen much of until now. He's fine. He's likable enough for me not to be bothered by Buster only getting a supporting role. Arbuckle's mainly funny because he's a fat guy. It just seems too easy at times. I mean, aren't all fat guys funny? Sometimes I just sit on a park bench waiting for a fat guy to come along so that I can point and laugh. Does that mean I should tape him and have Kino release it? What if the fat guy in the park was in a dress like Fatty is in "The Butcher Boy"? These things aren't terribly funny, barely mildly humorous even. The comedy and what passed as a plot in silent nineteen-teen's shorts are both really typical. There are a lot of clever bits and the physical comedy with both of the players is good, but a very small percentage of this made me laugh or even crack a smile. A couple of these use parody with uneven results. "Out West" pokes fun at the Western, and the humor actually gets pretty black. "Moonshine" has the weirdest title cards I've ever seen, ones that break the fourth wall and continually remind the audience that they're watching a movie. John Coogan, father of Chaplin's The Kid's kid Jackie Coogan, plays a policeman in The Hayseed. There probably aren't a lot of people to whom I'd recommend these, but I do have a second volume I'll get around to watching some time.
Sons of the Desert

Rating: 16/20
Plot: The boys have promised their fellow Sons of the Desert that they will be attending a convention in Chicago. Their wives
don't like the idea, so they devise a plan to lie about a doctor-recommended trip to Honolulu so that the fat one (Hardy) can convalesce. The plan doesn't work out too well.
It doesn't exactly wear its seventy-seven years well. A lot of the humor, especially anything that has to do with Charlie Chase. He squirts water from flowers, paddles other men when they bend over to pick up his wallet, and has trouble keeping in his giggles while he makes a prank phone call. Laurel and Hardy take turns falling in large containers of water and banging their heads on things. I actually didn't think this movie was as funny as the recent Laurel and Hardy movie (Block Heads) that I watched, but it's more cohesive and has a much more believable story. I also like the roles the wives play, and there are some clever verbal exchanges and baffling spoonerisms from Laurel. The most interesting line for me, at least in the context of the early-30s, was one of Chase's lines about a woman being an old organ pumper. Risque! I like the way this Laurel and Hardy stuff never seems too strained. There are some moments when it becomes completely obvious that these are guys who know they are trying to be funny, but a great deal of this is pretty natural.
City Lights

Rating: 20/20 (Jen: 16/20; Emma: 2/20; Abbey: 1/20)
Plot: After interrupting the unveiling of the city's new statue, a little tramp has a pretty good day. He meets a beautiful but blind girl selling flowers. It's love at first sight. He also befriends a drunken millionaire after saving his life and gets to spend the night on the town with him. He has a series of misadventures while trying to use his new friendship to help out the flower girl.
Any discussion of this movie really should start with the ending, a perfect one that gets me every time. There are lots of humorous moments (unless you're a girl in the third or sixth grade apparently) but there's nothing outrageous here. No scaling the side of a building or running from police or being attacked by monkeys while on a tightrope here. The humor is quiet and graceful. The opening scene is also great (and you get to hear Chaplin's voice for the first time; sort of), and it's followed by a lot of funny episodes, highlighted by the boxing scene and a trip to a restaurant with the millionaire. There's magic in every scene with the tramp and the blind girl. It's the little things that develop their relationship and set up one of the best endings in movie history. Chaplin stubbornly refused to make this his first talkie, and I'm so glad he did. Words would have ruined this one. City Lights is Chaplin's masterpiece and one of my favorite movies.
Jour de Fete

Rating: 17/20
Plot: Francois the postman delivers mail via bicycle in a quiet French town as its inhabitants prepare for the arrival of the annual fair. When he sees a short film at the cinema on America postmen, he envies their speed and reputation and becomes determined to match their rapidity.
It's shame this isn't readily available, and I'm surprised this wasn't Criterionized before the inferior Trafic. This is Tati's first film, before M. Hulot came along, and like his later and better known projects, this is a charming and quiet look at the humor of the everyday lives of everyday people, heavily inspired by silent slapstick classics and funny enough to force a few grins. Actually, I don't see how it's possible for anybody to watch this movie without having a goofy grin on his face from beginning to end. There's lots of great visual humor (a runaway bike, a ringing church bell, a romantic movie advertisement, a drunken bike ride, a race) and a lot more dialogue than in his other movies. Not that the dialogue adds much. The entire movie feels like a subplot filled with subplots, miniature stories without beginnings or endings that give the town and its people character. Unsurprisingly, there's a humorous criticism of a rapidly modernizing society and a gentle reminder about the importance of slowing down. I would some day like to live in a small town that has a hunchbacked old lady who walks around with a goat and narrates everybody's activities. This movie also made me want to own chickens. Add that to the shane-movies blog Christmas wish list with those other things I asked for.
Shakes the Clown

Rating: 6/20 (Mark: 9/20; Amy: 19/20; Amy's friend: 20/20)
Plot: A birthday clown named Shakes has a lot of things going for him. He's got friends, he's got a girlfriend with aspirations of becoming a professional bowler, and he's got a shot at a television gig. Unfortunately, his alcoholism has gotten in the way of his career. When rival clown Binky gets the television role instead of him, it sends him over the edge. His girlfriend dumps him, his boss fires him, and his friends are no help. That's what happens when your friends are Adam Sandler, I guess. Things get worse when Shakes is the primary suspect in the murder of his boss. Oh, snap!
You've got to respect a film that makes a large (and largely unfunny) joke out of alcoholism. It's a dark topic for a comedy. The problem with this movie is the lack of anything resembling comedy. It's stuffed with jokes and slapstick more likely to make you roll your eyes than smile. One of the first scenes shows a child peeing on Shakes' face, and the onslaught of scatalogy and vomitology never slows down. The writing is bad enough to make jail time for writer/director/star Bobcat Goldthwaite a legitimate possibility. It didn't take very long for me to want to urinate on Goldthwaite's face. I liked the idea enough, but the story was very thin, stretched like rubber vomit into a ninety-minute film and about as deep as a cream pie. I've seen a lot of movies where I find a lot of scenes that should have been cut, pointless scenes that add absolutely nothing to the story. More than half of the scenes in Shakes the Clown were like that. Robin Williams was also in this. That's rarely a good thing, but this was apparently during one of his non-sober times. This did get a bonus point for a midget mime. I'd apologize for throwing out the M-word after saying I no longer would, but the alliteration was impossible to pass up.
This is one of my sister-in-law Amy's three favorite movies.
Home Alone 2: Lost in New York

Rating: 9/20 (Dylan: 3/20; Emma: 11/20; Abbey: 15/20)
Plot: See Home Alone. Except place the child star who will later become a drug addict in New York City after he gets on the wrong plane and finds himself separated from his family. Other than that, things are almost identical.
Rob Schneider is in this movie. I don't feel the need to type much else about Home Alone 2. I think I probably could have written this screenplay with nothing more than the screenplay for Home Alone 1, ten bottles of white-out, a pencil, and forty-five minutes.
Paul Blart: Mall Cop

For Heaven's Sake

Rating: 16/20
Plot: Uptown rich kid Harold falls in love with downtown preacher's daughter Hope. When he accidentally becomes a philanthroper, he wins her affection; however, his rich peers aren't happy to hear he's marrying the girl.
Some great stunts, not all of them provided by Lloyd himself, and some hilarious visual gags make this quick little comedy another winner from Harold Lloyd. This has a fun cast of quirky characters, all of them more interesting than the romance at the heart of the story. I loved the little reverse chase scene (for lack of a better description) in which Lloyd's character angers the town's riffraff so that they'll chase him into a church service, and like in Speedy, there's some very exciting and well-choreographed vehicular mayhem at the end. And just like in Speedy, I'm amazed at the special effects, the pacing, and just the ambition of the grand race-against-the-clock scenes. It really looks as if people could have been killed. There's also a funny fight scene, a great scene where he has to round up drunkards, and some other funny bits involving Harold's absentmindedness/aloofness. Lots to like in this one.
Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan

Rating: 15/20
Plot: Borat, Kazakhstan's number one journalist, is sent to America to film a documentary on what makes the country so great. He falls in lust with Pamela Anderson after catching an episode of Baywatch on a hotel television and sets out for Los Angeles to find her.
On the one hand, this makes the misanthropic half of me laugh more than anything else. Attacks on idiocy, brutal satire, jabs of irony. On the other hand, there's something so hateful about a lot of this, and it's often unnecessarily crude. On the one hand, I really love the interaction with the actual, unsuspecting masses--the rodeo crowd, the guy trying to teach Borat how to tell jokes, the gun store owner, the used car salesman. On the other hand, the Pamela Anderson plot is cheesy and low-brow and pointless. On the one hand, Cohen's probably a genius and would have been deserving of a best actor nomination for this largely-improvised role. On the other hand, I really didn't need to see his ass. I like Borat and I'll likely see it lots more times and I look forward to seeing the new one with the gay character, but when I think about how good this movie should have been, it really annoys me. Channel it, Borat!
Abbott and Costello Go to Mars

Rating: 7/20
Plot: Oddly, they don't go to Mars. The bumbling duo accidentally steal a rocket and go to New Orleans during Mardi Gras. Then, after being hijacked by escaped convicts, they end up on a Venus inhabited by a bunch of feminists, but there's no Mars at all.
Nowhere near as funny as Troll 2. Actually, I laughed a single time, but that was only because the Lou Costello dummy they used to flop around in the rocket during take-off was much skinnier than the real Lou Costello. Stale stuff, and I can't actually imagine this not being dated comedy even in 1953. I might check out Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein which I think is supposed to be a much better movie, but I'm not really excited about it. How can you have a movie set partially in Mardi Gras and not feature exposed breasts? I was on the edge of my seat waiting for Lou to take off his shirt.
Lou Costello is the portlier of the two, right?
Buster Keaton Saturday: Two Shorts and a Twilight Zone episode
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Buster Keaton Saturday: Seven Chances

Free and Easy

Rating: 9/20
Plot: American comedy genius Buster Keaton independently made several 1920's silent feature-length comedies and comedic two reelers. He wrote, directed, and starred in the movies. He even did all of his own stunts, some of them very dangerous. In 1928, he made what he later described as the worst business decision of his life and signed a contract with MGM studios. After one great movie and one so-so movie, Keaton was ready to make his first talkie. He liked his voice and was ready to combine his one-of-a-kind physical humor with some dialogue humor. Unfortunately for Keaton, MGM's filmmaking practices were very regimented which conflicted with the more improvisational, on-the-fly style that Keaton was used to. Keaton still had ideas, but none of those ideas got through. They wouldn't even let him do his own stunts, fearing that he would die or seriously injure himself. The movies were still successful enough, at least at the box office if not from a cinematically historical perspective, but they were not Buster Keaton movies. In fact, there would never be another Buster Keaton movie again. Keaton turned to alcohol, and his marriage fell apart. He made a few MGM movies before being relegated to a gag writer for other on-screen comedians including the Marx Brothers. Nearly eighty years after Buster Keaton made his first talking picture, Free and Easy, Shane watched it and was sad for several days afterwards.
There are numerous reasons why this is a bad film. Two scenes, however, are all anybody needs to know about.
Scene number one: Buster's character (named Elmer just like in the last movie) is escorting an aspiring actress to Hollywood. He holds the train tickets for her, her mother, and himself. Suddenly, the train begins to pull away without him. "Alright," you say, "this will something good." You rub your hands together as you imagine him hopping aboard a moving train. The scene ends with Buster holding onto his hat and running to catch up with the train. It immediately cuts to Buster standing on the back of the caboose with the brakeman. They have a conversation about how Buster can't enter the train. "Ok," you say to yourself, "now he's going to outsmart the brakeman and probably end up on top of the train somehow! Then, following some death-defying stunts, he'll find the girl and his mother and get them their tickets! This will be great!" Instead, Buster takes a seat next to the brakeman and looks disappointed. Sort of how I must have looked.
Scene number two: Buster has trespassed on a studio's backlot, hoping to find the actress. He snuck into the studios in a very uninteresting manner, by the way. Suddenly, the security guard spots him. "Finally!" you say to yourself. "We'll get one of those famous Buster Keaton chase sequences! This will be great!" He hides behind some rocks of an Old West set. He messes up the scene, in a very uninteresting manner, and then has to run from the security guard and the cast and crew of the Old West picture. "Oh, man!" you hear yourself say, audibly because when you're talking to yourself, you at least feel like you have a friend. "Now we're cooking!" But there is no cooking. Buster's character winds up in another scene, nothing funny happens, and then he winds up in another scene. By then, you've completely lost interest.
Free and Easy is an awkward and depressing movie experience. I hate this movie.