Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film for Theaters

2007 animated comedy based on Cartoon Network's Adult Swim stoner nincompoopery

Rating: 8/20

Plot: French Fry Man, Mister Shake, and Meathead have to combine their talents to stop a destructive piece of exercise equipment threatening the very existence of our world. Along the way, there is are aliens, rap music, more aliens, a sinister guy with bad hair, attempts to woo, roller coaster rides, time travel, and Satan.

Ok, I'm not the audience for this one. For the first 15 minutes, I laughed, especially digging the fake theater public service announcement at the beginning featuring cartoon food both wholesome and hard core. The lyric "Did you bring your baby here? Throw your seed outside!" made me laugh. I also laughed later when one character shot another and said, "Now you're going to hell. Feel the sweet embrace of Satan's hoof across your face." But when I nudged my friends watching the movie with me, I found nobody to nudge. I was completely alone, in a darkened room, an artificial hand down the front of my pants. It was a bitter experience. I injected Diet Mr. Pibb into my jugular, and after feeling no effect whatsoever, injected some between each of my toes. I felt more alone, wept bitterly, put the scissors away. I turned to Bronson Pinchot beside me (sitting a little too closely beside me, but who's complaining) and said, "Feel the sweet embrace of Satan's hoof across your face, Balki Bartokomous!" Alas, only a hallucination! Perhaps the Diet Mr. Pibb was having an effect after all. I paused and leaked and ate everything in the house. The neighbors knocked on the side of my house and yelled, "What's going on in there?" There was a penis joke, and I almost laughed but was too sad to laugh. At least audibly. Despair. Ennui. I drank the rest of the Diet Mr. Pibb and belched loudly. And audibly.

I sort of like the television show, a show which I have never actually seen because I do not have cable television. The spurts of dadaist humor blended with cheaply animated potty jokes works well for ten minutes. The main problem with this is it's nine times as long as the television show. I was entertained for that ten or fifteen minutes. Then, boredom. How about that movie poster though? That's a good one.

Here I am, probably right before I got bored: