Rocket Science

2007 dramatic comedy

Rating: 6/20

Plot: As a really unlikable narrator explains, the fairly unlikable protagonist, stuttering Hal Hefner, has self-esteem and social problems because of his speech impediment. And, tragically, it is impossible for him to order pizza at his school cafeteria. His home life, due to the unlikable characters who make up his little family, also stinks. He meets an even less likable character who recruits him for the debate team. He's reluctant but likes her butt and therefore joins the team. She quickly becomes even more unlikable, even making Hal more difficult to like at the same time. Some other things happen, all in sequential order. The movie begins to morph into a full-fledged after-school special, and the viewer (this one at least) felt threatened. Then Hal has to find another really unlikable character to help him out. Then the movie thankfully ends.

Angst! Angst! Angst! I just had angst thrown at my face! Rocket Science works hard to be Noah Baumbach and fails miserable. Every line falls flat, although I will admit that I did almost laugh out loud during a scene involving a cello and smiled during a scene involving the kama sutra), and the story, instead of wandering artistically, sort of (pun intended!) stutters along and never gets anywhere at all. It's a movie that seems completely unsure of itself. It doesn't congeal thematically either, but that only amounts to a small percentage of the frustration. There's the oppressive soundtrack, terrible acting, desperate reaching for quirk to make up for lack of actual good writing (or maybe to have something to hide all the cliches behind), and the teen angst theme that just seems overcooked. The soundtrack featured two songs by the Violent Femmes for God's sake, probably because nothing says teen angst like "Blister in the Sun". When you factor in a main character who is not only in every single scene but stutters and a plot that has a lot to do with debating, it all adds up to something pretty terrible.

Here I am, offended by this pointless crap: