Six-String Samurai

1998 neo-samurai spaghetti western comedy

Rating: 11/20 (Abbey, who's sick, watched a large chunk of this but refused to give it a rating. "I don't like it, and I don't want to watch it.")

Plot: Forty years after the Russians have taken over all of America with the exception of Las Vegas (that would be 1957 for those of you interested in history), a suave and calm and collected 50's throwback with busted glasses, a suit, a guitar, and a sword travels to take over the kingdom from none other than Elvis Presley. He stumbles upon an orphan (as he's being orphaned actually) who refuses to leave his side. They meet critters, fiends, cannibals, dirty astronauts, bowlers, Death and his posse, more rockabilly bands than you can shake a samurai sword at, and a large chunk of the Russian army along the way. Buddy is forced to fight and fight again as his relationship with the child grows in a way that makes everybody a little sick to their stomach.

This was Johnny Suede meets Kill Bill (both volumes!) meets a Tom and Jerry cartoon meets El Topo (kid + desert + umbrella) meets Mad Max meets Dr. Strangelove meets Fistful of Dollars meets Evil Dead II meets a strange Seventh Seal/"Devil Went down to Georgia" hybrid meets The Wizard of Oz meets Rambo meets an episode of the Power Rangers in a darkly comic rockabilly circus. So it should have totally worked! The reasons I didn't like it much (although I was entertained for 3/4 of the time; the rest of the time I was just wanting scenes to end) are the same reasons I didn't like Bubba Ho-Tep. There's just too much stupid here, along with too much of an effort to create a cult classic and a cult icon along the lines of an Ash in Evil Dead. He even had one-word one-liners very close to Bruce Campbell's "Groovy." Another midget appearance in this. If Leonard Cohen were a midget, this would make four in a row, I think. There were cool scenes and I did like the stark desert (another desert movie!) cinematography and some of the action sequences. The latter, however, did get a little monotonous. Buddy gets an angry look and jumps up in the air with his sword above his head. Buddy chops a bunch of people up. They don't bleed. Wild stuff here, but it just doesn't completely work.

Here I am, apparently ticking off Lucyfer because I'm in her spot: