1999 dramaRating: 37/20
Plot: A well-known scientologists attempts to convince the world that he is not a homosexual. Everybody ends up naked. Masks are worn. Furniture is abused.
Ok. First off, I have to make it clear that this one doesn't actually count toward the 365. The host of a weekly poker game inexplicably put it on while we played, and even though I was facing the right direction and watched quite a bit of it between hands, it didn't have enough of my attention to really give it a fair rating. It's as mysterious and creepy and sensual and audacious and beautifully shot as I remember it. It also still seems unfinished though, like Kubrick never got a chance to edit the thing. When I saw this the first time, it was a little before I had started obsessively rating movies. I'll have to watch it within the next couple years to give it a number. Or maybe six or seven times.
Special note: This is a weird movie for me to sort of watch with a bunch of guys. All my attempts to discuss the cinematic value of Eyes Wide Shut were met with comments like "Nicole Kidman's got a nice tail" and "Look at him pound that one". To be completely honest, however, that guy was really pounding that one.
There is not a picture of me watching this artsy-fartsy parade of flesh.
3 comments:
Hey Pappy I miss you! (gay!)
http://wrongwaywizard.blogspot.com/2008/10/bore-me-again-o-wrong-way-wizard.html
I am half-way thru this analysis, and thoroughly enjoying it, and I just got to a part that discusses "gay!" so I thought of you.
I really thought I was getting away with something when this movie appeared on HBO back in the 90s. I stayed up late and watched it thinking it was my golden ticket into manhood.
The joke was on me. I literally sat there and thought, "Are all adult movies this slow and boring!?!"
The sex wasn't sexy or even hot; it was just...there...and weird. I guess I did learn one thing as a puberty eagle scout: I'm not really into fetishes. This movie fucked my "id" up in so many ways.
Yes, Kidman is a hottie with a body, and yes I thought those masked old guys were really pounding away, too. But, I would have been satisfied for some gratuitous breasts...not being gang banged in a mansion. Or a slick naked chick...not being ceremoniously raped by a gaggle of guys in cloaks and masks.
You know the sickest part about this movie, though? It's not really the visuals. It's the score. That mind-numbingly monotone piano! If the extremely slow pacing and watching-grass-grow narrative doesn't make you go insane, then the repetitious two-noted piano score is there to ensure complete lunacy.
Gotta hand it to Kubrick: One of the few directors who can play with your mind! Well played, sir.
I've really only watched this movie once, right after it came out on video cassette. I can't really even remember if I thought it was any good at all. I would probably lean toward "not good" though, but I have always planned on seeing it again, probably not at a poker game though. I did think it was gorgeous though, and I think Nicole Kidman is gorgeous even though she looks like she's made of the same material that Barbie dolls are made of.
I have a head start with this movie though. I've actually never had sexual intercourse while not wearing a mask.
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