Star Wars: Episode V -- The Empire Strikes Back

1980 blockbuster

Rating: 20/20 (Dylan: 15/20)

Plot: Well, I had typed some really stupid plot synopsis about how this starts with the characters vacationing in "the whitest place alive" and ends with their enjoyment of the galaxy's first taste of racial harmony ever while holding hands and listening to Herbie Hancock's Head Hunters on the hi-fi. But the computer went nuts when I was searching for pictures of naked Ugnauts, and all my words were lost.

By the way, is there anybody else out there who would love to have a t-shirt with a picture of a shirtless Ugnaut and the words "This be how we doin' it in Cloud City, mo-fo!" on it? I think that was a promotional item from 1980. Maybe I should check Ebay?

I think Yoda is superior as a puppet. I really enjoyed the Toshi Station boy being relentlessly teased by a big-eared puppet. I also really think the dialogue is great in this movie. There's only one scene in this entire movie that I don't like. Anybody want to guess what it is? Otherwise, this movie is perfect. Too bad the next one had to have those teddy bears in it.

Did I have an Ugnaut action figure as a kid? Hell yeah, I did!

4 comments:

cory said...

I have been trying to guess the scene, but since I love every scene in this, I'm having a hard time. Does it have to do with your hero, Bobba Fett? I love that you know the Ugnaut race... or are you making that up?

This is the best made of the series and an all-time favorite of mine. It is a great blend of humor, action, and mythology. It is also completely entertaining from beginning to end. To bad it builds you up for the suckfest to follow. A 20.

Shane said...

I like Yoda better than Boba Fett. And dude, Ugnaut action figure! Of course I'm going to know them.

My brother, who for whatever reason doesn't leave comments on this blog and only argues with me via email, has harshly criticized my 20 for 'Empire'...I actually doubt myself since this works more as a bridge rather than a complete film. But I gave 'A New Hope' the 19 (maybe too high?) and this is better. I think my math is good here!

I actually don't care for the scene on Dagobah where Luke decapitates Darth Vader. I know there's a little foreshadowing and all and is important to set up Luke as a dynamic character later (when he doesn't have that anger or whatever that leads to hate that leads to the darkside), but I just never liked it.

What's the best lightsaber battle in this Star Wars saga, by the way? I'll give you choices to put in order:

A) Luke v. Darth in 'Empire'
B) Luke v. Darth in 'Jedi'
C) Obi-Wan/Schindler v. Darth Maul
D) Obi-Wan v. Anakin
E) Obi-Wan v. Darth Vader in 'A New Hope'
F) Luke v. that floating ball in 'A New Hope'
G) Yoda v. Christopher Lee
H) Yoda v. Palpatine
I) Palpatine v. Mace Windu

Am I forgetting any? I think my list would change based on whether I was thinking aesthetically or spiritually.

And before you say anything, yes, I am well aware of the nerdiness of this discussion...

cory said...

You read my mind. No self- respecting adult would engage in this sort of geekiness, but since no one else will read this blog, here goes:

1. C (incredible operatic score; best fight; super cool Maul double light saber moment; still gives me chills)

2. A (each part of three part battle gets more intense; parentage revealed; ground-breaking cool)

3. D (pretty intense; great choreography; sad and meaningful)

4. B (Luke getting pissed and whuppin' on Darth is pretty fun; another hand bites the dust)

5. H (two heavyweight champs duking it out)

6. L (new)... Anakin vs Dooku for the pleasure of Palpatine (Anakin goes dark; more hands)

7. J (new)... short fight Schindler vs Maul (cool Maul dismount leads to immediate violence; I love this little fight)

8. K (new)... Obi and Anakin vs Dooku (good fight; another hand lost)

9. E (tough call where incredible meaning in the series is balanced by underwater-speed fighting; I wonder if Guinness ever felt like a dork doing this movie)... on second thought, I'll move this up to number 6

10. I (you know how it's gotta turn out; Anakin is sideline useless; Palpatine obviously toying with Mace)

11. G (Yoda totally freaky Mexican jumping bean style; why does he just stand there for 5 seconds watching Dooku pull crap down on people's heads; Yoda disappoints)

12. F doesn't count

P.S. I never liked the Luke? Vader swamp thing that much either. I do love Yoda's sigh at the end, though.

Shane said...

Alright, I'd pick Maul v. Schindler/Obi-Wan aesthetically. Great choreography, very exciting to watch. I love the 15 seconds or so right after that door thing opens and Obi-Wan and Maul go at it. So quick. But yeah, from beginning (when the door opens and Maul is standing there) to the very end, that one is filled with goodness.

Spiritually (and aesthetically), I like the Obi-Wan v. Anakin fight, but I really think the set gets in the way. I hate when they're floating on that crap in the lava river or climbing up that big thing. I liked the hellish imagery, but didn't need to see them swinging around or floating on robots.

Totally neglected the Dooku fights that didn't involve Yoda. Those, I think, are disappointing, probably because there are too many close-ups. I can't watch the one with Yoda without laughing though. I forgot all about Mace's death, too. And we both apparently have forgotten about the multi-armed robot guy.