The Truman Show

1998 movie

Rating: 15/20

Plot: Truman Burbank begins to realize that he is the star of a reality show that people have been watching since his birth.

I love the great premise here and think it's wonderfully prescient, but it's hard to ignore the movie's flaws. First, there's Jim Carrey. I'd love to see this exact same movie with somebody who isn't Jim Carrey, somebody not nearly as recognizable. Carrey, as you'd probably expect, overdoes things a little bit. Another issue is that this spells everything out for the viewer a little too much. This could have been cleverer if the audience would have figured out the movie's secrets right along with its protagonist. The worst comes at around the halfway point of the movie where Cristof is interviewed, a scene that treats the movie audience like morons. The fact that they take one call which happens to be Truman's true love interest is also a little hard to swallow. And then there's the camera work or perspective of this thing. It seems like nobody could make up their mind whether the camera should be in the reality show or a more traditional third person thing. Still, there's something fun about watching one everyman's existential collapse. Watching the extras in Truman's world and the producers of the show try to hold everything together is also a lot of fun. As waterlogged as this movie seems at times, there are more than a few great moments. The scene where Truman reunites with his father is especially magical, goosepimple-inducing. This completely artificial thing is being manufactured, but Cristof's reaction is so good as he orchestrates and makes art out of somebody's life, like a fist-bumping God. Speaking of God, is this a metaphor for religion? I think it might be, but I've never heard anybody complain about it. Cristof is played by Ed Harris who isn't one of my favorites, but he's really good here. Carrey's fine, too, and would play that everyman perfectly if he was less Jim Carrey. You do really root for his character, especially when he's trying to construct a picture of his lost love from magazine pieces. There's just something so romantic about that. This is a good movie, but it's frustrating knowing that it should have been a great one.

Lemonade Joe

1964 Czech Western musical parody

Rating: 16/20

Plot: The titular sharpshooter tries to rid a sinful town called Stetson City of whisky in the 1880s.

The good guys wear white and refuse libations while the bad guys wear black and are actually named Badman. With 1920's color tinting and slapstick, way too many songs, ridiculous fight scenes that are speeded-up, and stock characters, this both pokes fun and pays homage to Western musical comedies. It also nails capitalism as Joe seems to exist only to shill lemonade that has a name suspiciously close to Coca-Cola. Kolaloka? That's close, right? There's plenty of silliness here--a trumpeter in black face who engages in a shoot-out with the good guy in what might be the best shoot-out I ever see, a trickster bad guy named Hogofogo who probably gets the best song, a guy who eats violins, and lines like "The night is cold; I'll need to put on my woolens" preceding a climactic trip to a place called Dead Man's Valley. The hijinks make this really entertaining even though it seems to go on a little too long, and although all the parts of this remind you of things you've seen before, it all comes together uniquely and isn't really like anything you've seen before. This is the best Czech Western I've seen and much better than Blazing Saddles despite the lack of Gene Wilder. Fun stuff!

A Woman Is a Woman

1961 Godard fun

Rating: 16/20

Plot: A stripper desperately wants to have a baby with her boyfriend, but he desperately doesn't want a baby. That's where the movie loses all credibility because the stripper is played by Anna Karina, a woman who nearly any male would be willing to do anything for, especially if it involved having sexual relations with her. Her boyfriend's flirtatious buddy seems interested, probably because he's normal, and that creates some conflict.

This one's got shane-movies favorites Anna Karina and Jean-Paul Belmondo, the latter who looks a little like Bobby Fischer and the former who I would like to invite into every single one of my dreams. Godard creates good dreams, and he can also screw with an audience better than any other director. There's a spontaneity to this that is infectious and refreshing although there are some people who would find it intolerable. Godard and his characters constantly remind the audience that this is all just a movie. They break into song like only characters in a musical can. Michel Legrand's music stabs at you like a candy-coated knife, really maddening the way it comes in and out unexpectedly. A lot of the sounds and edits seem like mistakes, but you know it's all Godard's idea of a joke. Words appear on the screen, things like "Because they love each other, everything will go wrong for Emile and Angela." He flashes shots of random elderly pedestrians during a conversation with the main characters, and he includes a lengthy scene where characters are just sitting at a table listening to a song (the funny "Tu t'laisses aller" by Charles Aznavour) while looking at a photograph. The fourth wall is busted repeatedly, mostly in comical ways with characters bowing to the audience, speaking directly to the audience, and, in what is one of the most erotic things I've ever seen in a movie, winking. Anna Karina looked directly at me and winked. And I woke up three days later in a pool of my own juices. Wait, did I write that it broke a fourth wall? This wink broke a fifth and maybe a sixth wall. And then there's a moment where she strips because, you know, she's a stripper, and the music she performs to sounds like the theme to Mr. Roger's Neighborhood, something that has the potential to travel back in time and give me my first erection at the age of four. I also liked a little dance she does in a tight blue dress. Hot Tamale! I'm glad my wife doesn't read my blog. Godard dicks around so much with this that it's a wonder he was allowed to continue making movies, but it's all very funny. They "I'll go with who performs the most amazing feat" scene made me laugh, and I also liked an argument that included the words--unspoken--"pernicious mummy." And those sounds coming from the bathroom! Oh, and I loved this conversation:

Karina: Would you rather have fish or meat for dinner?
Brialy: Fish.
Karina: What would you have preferred if you were having meat?
Brialy: I don't know. Veal.
Karina: And if you were to have beef rather than veal, would you prefer a steak or a roast?
Brialy: A steak.
Karina: And had you answered roast, would you prefer it rare or well-done?
Brialy: Rare.
Karina (getting the roast): Well, you're out of luck. My roast beef's a little overdone.

That's just beautiful and perfectly and nonsensically describes these characters and their relationship. And they trill their R's. The introduction/opening credits were interesting, by the way--large colorful words popping rhythmically onto the screen to introduce the three leads. I wonder if it influenced Gasper Noe. This movie really isn't Godard's greatest achievement, but it's a lot of fun and has this great energy.

I feel the need to point out that Anna Karina is not really naked in this movie.

Enthiran (Robot)

2010 ridiculously stupid sci-fi action romantic comedy (with music)

Rating: 14/20 (Unapologetically!)

Plot: A scientist makes himself a bitchin' robot that looks like him and can do anything that the writer/director of this thing can dream up. His girlfriend's upset that he spends so much time working. Eventually, the robot develops into something a little more human and falls for his maker's girlfriend. Then, things get really stupid.

Oh, goodness. This movie broke some kind of record for winning me over in the quickest amount of time because this bad boy had me at the menu screen with this delirious song that went something like "Boom boom robo gah robo gah zoom zoom." I'm easy to win over apparently. And yes, that song is in the movie, probably when the titular robot is doing something absolutely ridiculous. Actually, if I recall correctly, it was used in a montage where the robot--which is named Chitti, by the way, something else that entertained me because I'm apparently seven years old--cooks, dances, teaches karate, dresses hair, applies make-up, gives pedicures, plays practical jokes, etc. No, this guy isn't just a military fightin' rock-'em-and-sock-'em robot. He's one who can deliver babies. Love this conversation prior to the baby delivery:

Chitti: May I try?
Person: Are you a doctor?
Chitti: I'm Chitti. (pause) The robot.
Person: Can you do this?
Chitti: Why not?

Then, there's an ultrasound where the baby is revealed to be a cartoon. Awesome. Chitti also has a ridiculous action scene and then, to blow your fucking mind even more, he starts singing. Of course, the most memorable parts of this are when the robot gets to show off his fighting skills. And those scenes defy all logic. Over-the-top, silly, but undeniably creative, these are action scenes that will leave you wanting to high-five yourself. The special effects are probably on par with the stuff in the second Matrix movie, and there's even a chase sequence that reminds me of what they did with cars in that movie. But whereas that Matrix crap was happening in some kind of fantasy land (I don't really know because I didn't understand those movies), this is supposed to be happening in the real world. Those ridiculous special effects stand out most during a train scene with some interesting fisticuff action, a scene with a flying baby, some fire, and a what-the-hell moment when some mosquitoes start talking to each other. Oh, and there's a scene with a woman getting hit by a car which I believe is the worst thing I have ever seen. But when that robot [SPOILER ALERT!] duplicates himself and all the Chitti robots start piling on top of each other to make giant towers or giant Chittis, it's sublime and will, if you're anything like me, make you pee in your pants. This stars "Superstar" Raiji in dual roles, and at first, I was thinking, "This guy doesn't look much like a superstar." But there was a point early in the movie where he does this little giggle, kind of like a robotic dough boy, and that put him well into "superstar" range. He is good as both human and robot although he's aided by special effects. Since this is Bollywood, you can expect lots of music, and the action and plot are interrupted a few too many times with bad music videos about how we need to watch them "robo shake it" and other stuff. I say "other stuff" because the music video song lyrics were not translated for me. They're slick, and I didn't mind watching Aishwarya Rai Bachchan, who I assume is also a superstar, dance around in a variety of colorful outfits, but the music videos are really why the fast-forward button was invented. There's also a lot of stuff that I'm pretty sure was supposed to be comedic but that I didn't understand because it's probably a cultural thing. This movie's also very very long with a plot that develops far too slowly. At about the hour and fifteen minute mark, a character actually says something like "Now the story has begun!" which made me think, "It's about time!" Don't get me wrong though. This is close to the greatest movie ever made.

I finished watching this movie at around 3 in the morning, I think, and I immediately emailed my brother to tell him to check it out. He probably hates me for it.

Cry-Baby

1990 Johnny Depp movie

Rating: 13/20 (Mark: 14/20)

Plot: It's kind of like Romeo and Juliet except it takes place in Baltimore in the 1950s. The titular bad boy falls for one of the preppy kids, and the squares don't like it.

I've never claimed to be a fan of Pink Flamingos, but I think I prefer that John Waters to this more Hollywood-friend version. This at least has Johnny Depp who even at this stage in his career seems willing to take whatever character is thrown at him and make it his. Seriously, Depp takes every character he plays and gives a performance that makes it impossible to think of anybody else being that character, and that's regardless of whether or not he has a bird on his head. Of course, he's also Johnny Depp, so he's a little distracting in this movie. He also didn't do his own singing in this, and neither did his Juliet, Amy Locane, and that's just not how a musical should work. This also has Iggy Pop who I'm becoming convinced is the finest actor of this or any generation. He actually can't act naturally doing anything at all. He's also distracting because any time he's on the screen, you want to pay attention to him, even if he's just in the background, to see what unnatural faces or movements he's going to make. Traci Lords, Ricki Lake, Mink Stole, Willem Dafoe, and Kim McGuire are all in this, the latter playing a character called Hatchet Face. The plot and dialogue are silly, but the songs and dance scenes are pretty good and the whole thing's entertaining and harmless enough. But should a John Waters' movie be harmless?

The Strong Man

1926 comedy

Rating: 13/20

Plot: A soldier more accurate with a slingshot than a machine gun starts working with a strong man--not really the titular strong man--after the war. Letters from a Mary Brown kept him going during his soldiering days, and he decides to look for her. After an adventure with a different Mary Brown who turns out not to be a Mary Brown at all, he finds the real Mary Brown.

This was Frank Capra's first film, and it's a total mess. It feels more like 3 1/2 short films strung together and called a complete movie. I could forgive that if it was entertaining or funny, but it's really neither. Langdon plays a more heroic character in this one, but it's difficult to sympathize with the character because, as I said in the last post, he's not very likable. The best bits are probably with the fake Mary Brown character played by Gertrude Astor. Langdon does move and react well, and he has a childlike innocence that makes the story work. Well, until the end when his character seems to almost be an entirely new person. There's nothing that will have anybody in the aisles, but this has a couple moments that somebody wouldn't be made fun of for calling them classic moments. One involves a walk up the steps with Gertrude Astor, and another is a toss from a car down a hill with a surprising result. The climactic scene is a mess, but I do like this little pose Langdon keeps repeating.

Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist

2008 teen romantic comedy

Rating: 13/20 (Jen: 17/20)

Plot: Sad Michael Cera meets a girl who without his knowledge has been appreciating the mixtapes he's made for his ex-girlfriend who he still pines for, and they have an late-night first date trying to find the location of a secret gig by their favorite band.

This movie wasn't made for me despite my love for Michael Cera. I'm going to spoil things for you if you haven't seen this, so if you want to see this, stop reading. At the end of the movie, the titular couple are in a recording studio where Kat Dennings' character ends up making sounds that you would ordinarily hear when copulation is taking place or when somebody is enjoying an especially tasty doughnut. But then it's revealed that Michael Cera's character still has his pants on. Am I missing something here? This whole thing isn't a terrible love story, but it's not a profound one or even an all-that-believable one either. The leads are fine--he as the same dorky/hip character he always kind of plays and she as a sort of wounded girl on the threshold of something--but some of the auxiliary characters are annoying. The story's sweet, and a lot of the dialogue's really good. This tries very hard and might succeed for its actual audience which is not me despite my love for Michael Cera. I didn't like the soundtrack nearly as much as the one in The Perks of Being a Wallflower which might only succeed in dating me. Devendra Banhart does have a song, however, and he's also got a brief cameo, too.

Dummy

2002 romantic comedy

Rating: 14/20

Plot: Steven's a 20-something still living with his parents and sister. When he loses his office job, he decides to buy a doll and fulfill his dream of becoming a gastriloquist. While he works on his craft, he befriends a woman at the unemployment office and deals with his nutty friend and his nuttier parents.

Not sure why I didn't see this when it came out since I'm a fan of both ventriloquism and awkwardness. It's a comedy. Don't be thrown off by the poster which shows the titular doll like it's some kind of Chucky-esque horror movie. It's also a pretty funny comedy, one of those with characters so quirky that it would be hard for this to have anything more than a cult following. You've got a dad who builds model battleships while watching pornography, the main character's punk rocker pal played by Milla Jovovich who gives the worst advice ever, and a sister way over her head with a wedding planner business. The latter's played by Illeana Douglas who really does look like she could be Brody's sister. Brody's terrific with the ventriloquism thing, gradually getting better as the movie goes on. He does well with bringing out the puppet's personality which, in a strange way, brings out the personality of his own character. This is almost a coming-of-age movie with a guy in his late 20s. He acts like he's about 12, but he is expressive and nails awkward. Oh, and Jessica Walter is in this, playing a character not far removed from her character on Arrested Development which is fine with me. The story kind of falls apart, going a few places that are a little too unexpected, but there are plenty of low-key funny moments--Milla's punk move when listening to Klezmer music for the first time, the sister's bitchy criticism ("You look like a child molester!"), a magician's act with a rabbit, and Brody's attempt to get his gal in a romantic mood with a little Sousa. Sousa seduction! And "I always look both ways when I cross the street," a line that definitely needs context, is some pretty brilliant writing. If you like your comedy with a full serving of awkward, this one's worth checking out.

Chicken with Plums

2011 movie

Rating: 17/20

Plot: Renowned violinist Nasser Ali Khan is distraught after his violin is destroyed. Since he's unable to satisfactorily replace the instrument, he decides to retire to his death bed. His wife is unhappy with the decision.

This is a beautiful story, whimsically and imaginatively told. It toys with your emotions a little bit, starting out as a fantasy of sorts before transforming through flashbacks and flash-forwards into something that is borderline devastating. The main character is imperfect, but he's imperfect like most men, especially the artistic ones, and I had no trouble at all connecting with him. Mathieu Amalric is just about perfect in the role and reminds me of a character who belongs in an Aki Kaurismaki movie. Maria de Medeiros plays his wife, juxtaposing mousey with bitchy very well. I thought the name was familiar, and it turns out she was the beauty in Guy Maddin's The Saddest Music in the World. I also liked Golshifteh Farahani. She's got a great face and an even better name. The real star of this show, however, is its flavor. The source material is an Iranian graphic novel by Marjane Satrapi, and it's directed by her and Vincent Paronnaud, the same team that put together Persepolis. Unlike that, this is mostly live action, but it's about as close to animation as live action can be. I don't know if it's the graphic novelist's visual sense or what, but there's a style to this that I just loved. An exotic and fantastical world is created from what is really a simple story. There's some magical realism with a shopkeeper's magic wand, a visit from a twenty-foot-tall Sophia Loren, and a visit from the Grim Reaper are more out-there sequences, but even everyday things like the way a bus curves through mountainous roads is displayed in a way that makes this seem like it comes from a fairy tale. There are some cartoonish special effects that don't come close to adding to any realism but still manage to fit. There's also some stylistic variety in a hilarious black and white flashback where a teacher compares the main character to his brother and encourages his classmates to boo him and a flash-forward where an animated version of the protagonist's son shoots a buffalo out of the sky before the story morphs into a sitcom that might poke fun at the United States a little bit. There's a variety with the animation styles used, too. And there are puppets, and as my regular 4 1/2 readers could tell you, I'm a sucker for puppets. Again, this isn't all whimsy and surreal vignettes. There's a heart to this movie--"The love you lost will be in each note you play."--and it hit me just right.

I think fans of Amelie might like this.

Silver Linings Playbook

2012 best picture nominee

Rating: 15/20 (Jennifer: 19/20)

Plot: Pat, a substitute teacher who spent a few months in a mental institution after beating up the man his wife was sleeping with, moves into his parents' attic. He tries to figure out a way to reconcile with his wife, a difficult task because of a restraining order. He meets a friend of a friend who happens to be a friend of a friend of his wife. She's got problems of her own, and the two figure out they're in a romantic comedy. Things progress from there.

Boy, was I wrong about this one. One, I assumed that I wouldn't like it, an odd prediction since it has Bradley Cooper in it. Two, I thought for sure it was setting up for a Shamalammadingdong-esque twist where protagonist Pat was just imagining all of these people. I'm still not entirely sure I want to believe that everything that happened in this movie actually occurred in the movie's reality. I want there to be something a little deeper with this story, I guess. The main character is bipolar, so I guess hallucinations or delusions wouldn't really have fit. Still, that cop who keeps popping up at just the right moments, Chris Tucker's character--the lone black man in Philadelphia, it seems--showing up inexplicably in all these places, all the pieces falling together so unnaturally. It's hard to take at face-value, isn't it? As pure rom-com cotton candy though, this is really pretty good. I really liked the performances. Cooper and Jennifer Lawrence play characters who really should be unlikable, but their performances here are a testament to how good looking they both are. I'm not sure I'd call what Lawrence did best-actress-award-worthy, but she's good and really easy to like and root for. And there are all these gratuitous shots of her posterior which the Academy Awards people must have enjoyed. Bradley Cooper might have been a little too wide-eyed at times, but he wears a trash bag better than anybody I know. De Niro and Jacki Weaver plays his parents, the latter more in the background but very funny when talking about her crabby snacks and homemades. De Niro's character is sneakily nuanced, his performance barely under control. He's good though. It's a great ensemble cast that really helps this thing swim, and the thing just was refreshingly entertaining despite the pain that some of the characters were suffering. It does kind of hit a point--the "parlay bet" scene--where things get a little too unbelievable, and after that, it all feels a little too much like a movie. Again, those pieces fall into place a little too neatly. You really almost expect that you're being set up for a devastating ending to this thing, at least for a handful of the characters. But they're all so likeable that the Hollywood endings slapped on this ends up being satisfying.

Or maybe the complete lack of a twist is the twist? That this so comfortably embraces its Hollywoodness should maybe be applauded.

Here's a twist--I'm giving movies Bradley Cooper bonus points from now on. In fact, I might do it retroactively. I'll have to find my A-Team write-up.

Chasing Amy

1997 comedy

Rating: 12/20

Plot: A comic book artist falls for the titular lesbian.

Star Wars gentrification analysis, Archie and Jughead as lovers theorizing, and a Degrassi Junior High mention ("a weird thing for girls who say aboot") show a wide range of references, but this still is so locked in the 90s, one of my three or four least favorite decades. The dialogue doesn't ring true; it's Kevin Smith movie dialogue. His scripts always seem kind of half-assed to me, probably because he's a slacker. I thought Ben Affleck was likable even when his character wasn't, and his friend--played by Jason Lee, a guy with a voice that makes it automatically seem like he's overdoing things--is almost not distracting. What is distracting--and something that I couldn't get past--is the voice of Joey Lauren Adams. It completely ruins what would otherwise be a somewhat-enjoyable romantic comedy.

Shane Reviews the Greatest Movies Ever Made: Sunrise (A Song of Two Humans)

1927 silent melodrama

Rating: 19/20

Plot: A horny farmer meets a whore from the city, and she convinces him to drown his wife and sell his farm so that they can be together. His penis tells him that it sounds like a terrific idea, but he's unable to commit the act and the married couple falls in love all over again in the big city. But then there's a storm! Oh, snap!

Again, in order to avoid ridicule from cinephiles, I feel the need to give these movies on the Sight and Sound list a 20/20. [Edit: I have since changed my mind! I welcome ridicule.] I'm not sure if this makes me a more credible movie blogger, but admitting that I do it probably takes away every tiny bit of credibility I had left. I want to start this off by saying that I really do love this little movie, however. Oh, and you should consider, when deciding in your head just how much credibility I do have since I know you're doing that right now, that I am posting this entry in the "Shane Watches the Greatest Movies Ever Made" series on the exact day I said I would which is worth something.

Enough about my credibility or lack of credibility though. There's Sunrise: A Song of Two Humans to discuss. Everybody who knows me knows that I like silent movies. 1927 was a huge year for film, one that started with Metropolis and also saw the release of The Jazz Singer, a movie that ruined movies for several years. If my shoddy research is correct, this movie came out soon after that first successful "talkie," timing that unfortunately made it interesting to almost nobody. It did win a special Academy Award though, and it's now regarded as one of the best of the silent era. Deservedly so actually.

The story's in three chunks--a haunting first act where The Man (that's his name, just like it should be in a fairy tale) and city gal conspire to off The Wife, a much lighter and sweet and humorously cute second part where the love between the husband and wife is rekindled, and a third classically melodramatic final third that features some action, some surprises, and the exact ending that it should have. It's a silent film, and Murnau doesn't lean on title cards at all, forcing his mute characters to let us know all about themselves in other ways--the way they smoke their cigarettes, flash leg, or walk; the way they tuck their husbands into bed or frown at an abandoned kitchen table; and the way they clutch bundles of sticks, offer a plate of bread, or lumber about like their legs are too heavy. Those heavy legs, you should know, were allegedly because actor George O'Brien was forced to wear lead boots to help him walk in a more guilty way. Apparently, guilty men walk a little like Frankenstein's monster. O'Brien is good, even shedding some tears during one beautiful scene. His character's dopey though. Buying cheap flowers for your wife to make up for looking menacing during a boat ride? Janet Gaynor's also great, though often with that typical 1920's staginess. Margaret Livingston plays the woman in the city, and even though she's the third most important character in this, she's not in it all that much. She does look good in lingerie, however. That was appreciated. Oh, and there's a scene where she dances after she and lover daydream of life in the city, and that might be the worst thing I've ever seen. No, I'm not just talking about dancing. I'm talking about the worst thing I've ever seen. Of course, I always like the periphery characters, and there's a pair of guys in the city--a barber played by Ralph Sipperly and a randy photographer played by J. Farrell MacDonald--who play their parts like they really want to be noticed. And there's a dog that is not credited, but I was wondering if it was the same dog who played Homo in Murnau's The Man Who Laughed.

This isn't great because of the acting or rather simple story though. This is all about technical prowess. The visual experimentation makes this a stunning movie-watching experience. Watch that fuzzy moon and farmland melt into big city excitement, a scene witnessed through a moving trolley that transitions from a rural setting to an urban one, the lighting during a scene post-storm, a title screen that chillingly says "Couldn't she get drowned?" before even-more-chilllingly melting away, long tracking shots of characters walking through these sets including one spectacular sequence where the camera follows the guy as he meets his mistress. I can't remember seeing a silent movie where the camera moves this gracefully. It does it on the outdoors sets and again through the busy streets of the city. There are also some special effects, mostly superimposition, and it looks quaint but also like a labor of love. There's a craft to putting the model trains, dancing women, and musicians on the screen with dreaming lovers in a field of wheat. The goofiest effect is during a slow careless but loving walk that ends up humorously causing a traffic jam. It looks silly but still manages to add to the fairy tale-ness of the whole thing.

I also want to mention the music, something I almost never do because I don't really understand how music was done for movies in the 20s. It sounds to me that a lot of this music may have been used just for this movie although I did hear that Alfred Hitchcock television theme music in there during a scene with a broken statue. Generally, silent movie music is at best dull and forgettable or at its worst irritating. Here, it's really terrific, adding to the tension in the early and later scenes of the movie.

And speaking of the sound, this one is not technically a silent movie. It's one of those late-20's movies that use synchronized sounds. I really wish that era of movie-making would have been longer because it's delightfully goofy, especially here when the characters go to an amusement park and later with the wind and thunder during a violent storm. I can't understand why some things get sound and some don't. There's a scene where some incessant pig squealing is audible but a dropped bottle is not. It's weird.

I should have watched this with my wife, but I'm afraid she would get ideas and try to drown me afterward.

Next movie in the Shane Watches the Greatest Movies Ever Made series: Tokyo Story. I'll write about that one on the 26th of January unless I decide to shut this thing down before then.

Little Cigars

 

1973 little person crime caper

Rating: 12/20

Plot: On the run from gangsters, regular-sized Cleo hooks up with five diminutive performers who use their stage show as a front for some thieving. She and their leader Slick Bender strike up a romance as their crimes get more and more ambitious.

I love watching things that make my wife ask "What are you watching?" in a way that makes me think she'd ask "What the hell are you watching?" if she cursed more. She did that twice for this movie. I had to watch it in two installments, and she was confused by it twice.

The appeal for me, of course, was all the little people, especially shane-movies favorite Billy Curtis from The Terror of Tiny Town. Little Curtis is so angry through most of this. Look at this collection of lines:

Billy: Don't ever call a midget a dwarf.
Guy: What's the difference?
Billy: (in a whispery voice) Broken arm.

"Alright, you little perverts!"
"Is that the name of the game today? Teasing midgets?"
"If there are any heroes in here today, they're gonna be dead ones."
(After emerging from a crate with disheveled hair and a giant sweat stain on his shirt) "Boy, am I glad to be out of that son of a bitch."
"You don't have to tiptoe, you slut."
"Put me down!"

He also gets to fight a little bit in a bar, and it looks more realistic than half of Hollywood's fights. But there are other little people fights--including one where they gang up on one guy, another that is little-person-on-little-person, and a water fight that might be the hottest thing I've ever seen--and other little people. There's mustachioed Cadillac played by the great-voiced Jerry Maren who worked with the Marx brothers and got the chance to hand Dorothy a lollipop. He was also in the "Yada Yada" episode of Seinfeld. Frankie (Felix Silla) has the best voice of this crew. He fixes things in this movie but also played an Ewok, several aliens, Misquamacus in The Manitou, and Twiki in Buck Rogers in the 25th Century which is a pretty big deal if you ask me. Hugo is one muscular midget (I can use that word if there's alliteration--it's a rule.) and is played by Emory Souza who wasn't in a lot of movies but did do stunts in Dirty Harry. And there's Frank Delfino who looks a lot like Walter Matthieu and who played the Hamburglar in McDonalds commercials for over 20 years. A little guy named Buddy Douglas plays an attorney and is really awesome.

But who else is in this, albeit in a limited role? Angelo Rossitto, from Freaks. He's the smallest of a bunch of little people in a police line-up, and the only one of those guys to get lines, ramblings about being an honorary sheriff. Man, I love all 2 feet and 11 inches of that guy!

This movie's a hit 'n' miss affair. The biggest problem is that its makers don't seem sure what kind of movie they're even making. A black comedy? An action crime movie? It's dark without being funny too often. The capers don't make much sense, and the five little people and one statuesque blond woman seem a little conspicuous. It seems that the writers are playing a little game of "Let's see how many interesting places we can fit a little person," but all of the capers could be accomplished by just walking into a place with a gun and saying, "This is a stick-up!" like they end up doing anyway. The only thing silllier than their crime spree is the Little Cigars' act which might be the worst thing ever. Speaking of the statuesque blond, I do like her. She's Angel Tompkins and gets to be on screen in a towel and her underwear. Such a tease. She calls Billy Curtis a "piss pot" and has a fantastic wink. She's in this to look sexy and manages to pull that off. I loved one line of hers spoken to Curtis: "Because I'm an old lady, and I dig your little ass."

One other thing I really liked about this one was the ridiculous amount of off-screen asides, what I'm going to refer to "Attaboy, Luthers" from now on:

"Why, that cigar's bigger than he is!"
"That guy's shot!" (I love that one!)
"Watch out! Crazy driver! She's out of her head!"
"Hell, that's better than a waterbed." (during a Billy Curtis pillow demonstration)
"I'm gonna feed it to my bull!" (this one has to do with fertility candy bars)
"Like people with toy guns."

I enjoyed this, but it's not a very good movie. Check it out if you like little people in cinema as much as me. If that's possible.

Amelie

2001 romantic comedy

Rating: 19/20 (Jen: 17/20)

Plot: An awkward, introspective waitress in Paris decides to become a good-deed doer, and after she gets the hang of that, she decides to help herself.

This little feel-good movie of the century seems impossible to not love. It's refreshing, like lemonade washing over you without any of the stickiness. Amelie is as cute as a peach, and Tautou just nails this quirky and lovable character. The direction is as flamboyant as you'd expect and want from something Jean-Pierre Jeunet had anything to do with, and although the surface of this story is as simple as it can possible be, its diversions are so much fun. This is definitely a case where the "Where the characters go" doesn't matter nearly as much as "How the characters get there," the latter keeping this movie fresh no matter how many times you watch the thing. Along the way, there's a tiny bit of animation, fun camera play, some narration, a lawn gnome, and a sex montage that is as much a whimsical treat as my favorite scene in Delicatessan. Oh, and I just love the music of Yann Tiersen here. Even though it wasn't written specifically for this movie, the music matches the visuals so well. Another of my favorite little things about this movie: Amelie and Nino don't have any face-to-face dialogue in this movie. There's just something so precious about that. Ah, precious! That's a good word to describe this one. It's almost a fragile little movie, so delicate that I fear somebody with big clumsy hands might come along and accidentally break the thing. This is definitely not a movie for people with big clumsy hands.

As far as I know, this is still my brother's favorite movie.

Sleepwalk with Me

2012 comedy

Rating: 15/20

Plot: Matt Pandamiglio, an aspiring comedian based on star and director Mike Birbiglia, deals with his new profession, a relationship that isn't really working anymore, and the increasing dangers of his somnambulism.

I had looked forward to this movie for a while because I like Birbiglia's comedy act. He's better than maybe anybody else at turning awkwardness into humorous. And the guy and his brother bought a van and converted it into one that looked just like the one in The A-Team. He's creative and funny, and the story he tells here about his love life, burgeoning comedy career, and sleepwalking is perfect material for a comedy movie. He's surprisingly expert as a first-time screenwriter and director at intertwining the three of those. What he doesn't have is a lot of charisma as a leading man, and I imagine there are viewers who wouldn't like his personality as much as I do and therefore not like his character all that much. Birbiglia's not a great actor, but he works well enough as an everyman to make this story work well enough. Part of the problem for me is that I'm very familiar with Birbiglia's comedy act and know a lot of the stories told visually here, as well as a lot of the jokes. This never feels like a "best of" Birbiglia or anything, however. In fact, a lot of his best-known bits are either not in this at all or started but not finished. I do wonder how somebody completely unfamiliar with the guy's comedy would enjoy this thing though. Maybe you should check it out and let me know!

Seeking a Friend for the End of the World

2012 romantic disaster comedy

Rating: 14/20 (Jen: 14/20)

Plot: They've tried everything, but a meteor is going to collide with earth and kill everybody. A lonely divorced insurance salesman befriends a neighbor and promises to get her to her parents in England. They travel to visit his high school sweetheart. Along the way, they find a dog.

Jen claimed repeatedly that she had already seen this movie. In a way, it does feel really familiar although I can't really think of a movie that is like it. It's an interesting premise that I'm sure has been done before, maybe even better, but I wish writer/director Lorene Scafaria would have done a little more with it. This drifts along, meanders, and takes a few turns off roads that it didn't need to be on in the first place. I liked Steve Carell fine regardless of how mopey he was, and I also think Keira Knightley is as cute as a button. You know, because objectifying women is something I like to do here at shane-movies. What I'm not sure is if I liked the chemistry between Carell and Knightley here. There's cuteness here, a touching little love story, and a few good songs, but this isn't really anything I'd care to see a second time. I did like the ending quite a bit.

Casa de mi Padre

2012 comedy

Rating: 7/20

Plot: Mexican Will Ferrell and his brother have to save the titular casa from a drug lord.

The music, which as far as I know could have been lifted from other movies (I didn't want to spend any more time with this movie and check the credits), was pretty good. I made a promise here a while back--no more Will Ferrell movies. So I'm not exactly sure why I decided to watch this. I think it might be because I feel sorry for the movie. Will Ferrell movies don't come up in conversations I have often, but I've not heard anybody at all talk about this one. I'd almost assume that fans of Will Ferrell movies can't read (yeah, I know--I'm going to edit this out before I publish this post), so I'm not sure any of them would watch this anyway. Then, I see lots of copies at the library, but they're shelved in the foreign movie section, a collection of outcast dvd's that aren't even allowed to be near the other movies. It's unlikely that a Will Ferrell fan who hasn't heard of this one is going to stumble upon it. So I guess part of me just wanted to put this on the blog so that Will Ferrell fans who Google "Will Ferrell's actual buttocks" and find this post will find out this exists and check it out. I'll make sure not to use any big words in this entry. I'm not sure they'll like it because it's just not funny at all. In fact, it would be unclear whether it was a comedy at all if not for some too-wacky moments. Will Ferrell's in the movie. He speaks Spanish, and although I'm not exactly a linguistics expert or anything, it sounded pretty good to me. When I first heard about this movie, I was under the impression that he couldn't speak the language at all and was faking it here. If that's the case, he did a great job with it. I'm never going to say that Will Ferrell isn't a talented guy or even that he isn't funny, but everything he does just feels exactly the same. I'm not just talking movie to movie either. It's joke to joke. With this one, I almost turned it off the second time Will Ferrell and his pals engage in some lengthy chuckling. It was a typical Will Ferrell movie moment. I'm glad I didn't turn it off, however, because I would have missed out on what I can only assume are several shots of Will Ferrell's actual buttocks. And the lovely Genesis Rodriguez's actual buttocks. The plot's so predictable and intentionally-derivative that it makes you sleepy, and the novelty of Will Ferrell speaking Spanish wears off after about five minutes. I really can't imagine that this would appeal to anybody at all, even the most rabid fan of Will Ferrell or Will Ferrell's actual buttocks.

I looked at Genesis Rodriguez's imdb page for research purposes. One message board post wonders if she's related to Genesis P. Orridge. Here are more subject lines:

"I wish to impregnate her"
"A-WHOOT A-WHOO!!! RUFF-RUFF-RUFF!!!"
"HHHHHHHHRRRRRRNNNNNNNG GGGGGGGGGGG...."
"HHRRRNNNNNN..."
"HNNNNNNNGGGGG"
"DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYUM"

Those are the first six, all started by different people. Apparently she brings out the best in people.

Oh, and the Will Ferrell embargo is back on!

Prairie Love

2011 movie

Rating: 15/20

Plot: A hunter in frozen North Dakota saves a stranded man's life and later steals his identity in order to meet his pen pal girlfriend upon her release from prison for sexual reasons.

This is a very quiet movie, like the Coen's Fargo with the sound and style turned all the way down. That's not necessarily a terrible thing. I enjoyed the leisurely pace and attention to details that don't really matter at all. There are shots of rattling things on the main character's rickety trailer, and they don't add to the character much or the plot at all, but they lend some flavor to the movie. The director, by the way, is named Dusty Bias, and this is his debut. I'll be following his career, mostly because his name is Dusty Bias. He takes things so slowly here which allows the viewer to absorb everything. That keeps things kind of uneasy since there's really not that much to absorb. A lot of people will find this thing too slow and the characters too unattractive and uninteresting. And a lot of people probably won't find this very funny although it is a darkish comedy--kind of a grayish comedy. There's ill-fitting underpants during a run through the snow, perhaps the bravest and coldest-looking running I've seen since that guy in that Inuit movie, Atanarjuat: The Fast Runner. A frozen deer prop is used in funny ways, including an odd parallel episode where characters suggest to the guy, "Maybe you should taste its blood." Things move from naturalistic to just plain goofy with a play dinner, and the main character dressing up as a cowboy, making pow-pow-pow sounds, and saying, "Look at me. I'm a cowboy, ya know." This is a comfortably odd comedy that I'm glad I accidentally watched.

Freaks

1932 circus soap opera

Rating: 20/20

Plot: A circus strongman and a trapeze artist conspire to steal a sideshow little person's fortune. Gooble gobble.

This is a special movie. A lot of its specialness is the context. It's 1932 when talkies are mostly awkward, and as expected from both the time period and the use of non-professional actors, this is stagy. But you look past that because so much of this is stuff you've never seen on screen before and will likely never see again. Sure, certain directors revel in showing audiences the grotesque, but in Freaks, Browning shows it all so casually, and instead of exploiting the sideshow performers in this movie, they're just nonchalantly shown going about their business and are easily more likable than the "normal" characters. This is prior to the enforcement of the Hays Code, and a couple years later, this movie wouldn't have been allowed to exist. Predictably, it was banned in several places as well as being heavily edited by the studio. The studio also decided to tack on a happier ending.

Here's my context: I had heard about this movie long before I saw it. I saw a VHS copy at a library and took it home to give it a spin. I enjoyed the antics of the titular freaks, but the 1930's movie aesthetics were distracting while the story was weak. It's really a side-show soap-opera rather than the horror cult classic that I was setting myself up for. However, I couldn't shake it, especially the climactic scene in the rain that is so wonderfully filmed. I watched it again, and what I thought were flaws the first time I watched it didn't seem important at all. Now that I've seen it a third time, I think it's a masterpiece.

At the heart of the movie is Hans, the little guy whose infatuation with the "most beautiful big person" he's ever seen leads to the tragedy. He's played by Harry Earles who unfortunately has a small discography which includes another Tod Browning movie called The Unholy Three which I liked. He was also in the Lollipop Guild. His wife in this movie is played by his sister which, if you ask me, is all kinds of creepy. His character in this is such a player. Harry and his sister Daisy are both great, and they have these great little people voices. The best Hans scene is when he raves about "Swiss cheese heads" with tiny clinched fist body language. The "laughing" speech is also really good. Of course, this movie isn't just about little people. The first shot of the microcephalic children from the circus with "La la la" circles is plenty shocking, but there's also something beautiful and wonderful about the whole thing. Add conjoined twins, one who is marrying a stutterer; Johnny sans the lower half of his body whose deft maneuvering using on his arms is beyond impressive (Johnny Eck--a guy referenced in a Tom Waits' song); a marriage between a thin man and bearded lady whose offspring just made me try picturing a thin-man-and-bearded-lady sex scene in my head; a guy with no arms and no legs who lights a cigarette (Prince Randian in his only role); a bird-girl; Schlitzie, one of the "pinheads" whose incomprehensible dialogue doesn't even get subtitles; and the 2'11" Angelo Rossitto who gets the "Gooble Gobble" chant started during the great wedding reception scene. From the torn title screen leading into a carnival barker's foreshadowing intro about the "code of living monstrosities" to the shocking rain-drenched finale, this is about as fascinating as movies get, one that has really grown into one of my favorites.

Safety Not Guaranteed

2012 romantic time-travel comedy

Rating: 15/20 (Jen: 15/20)

Plot: A magazine investigates a weirdo who places a classified ad looking for a time-traveling companion.

I am still laughing at a scene with an ear, probably my favorite ear scene in any movie ever. I thought this was a very cute and offbeat little romantic comedy. There's some ambivalence that will befuddle some, but I really liked it. Aubrey Plaza from Parks and Recreation and Mark Duplass from various things Mark Duplass has done are not your typical leading people for a romantic comedy, and for whatever reason, I think that makes it work better. Karan Soni nearly steals the show as nerdy Indian guy Arnau. The film works well as a clumsy metaphor for love although the more you think about that, the more it falls to pieces. Worth checking out if you normally like comedies that I normally like. Inspired by a real 1997 classified advertisement that turned out to not be real at all.

Best line: "Was there something wrong with Einstein or David Bowie?"