Bad Movie Club: Assault of the Killer Bimbos


1988 action comedy

Bad Movie Rating: 3/5 (Mark: 2/5; Samantha: 4/5; Johnny: didn't finish; Josh: didn't finish)

Rating: 7/20

Plot: Two go-go dancers are framed for the murder of Shifty Joe and flee to Mexico. They pick up a waitress with bimbo potential along the way, meet some surfers, and dance awkwardly. They don't, as the poster might lead you to believe, fly.

This was a terrible Bad Movie Club experience. First, we started way late because one of us didn't remember when Bad Movie Club started, and two others were just late. Second, 40% of us dropped out very early, likely because they had experienced the best part of the movie and knew it nothing else would come close to touching it. And third, I accidentally provided a link to a Spanish version of this that only one of us could understand. I did take Spanish in high school for a year and a half, but all I know are a few words. Including, I guess, "bimbo." That's Spanish, right?

I expected this to really only be fun for two of us anyway--my brother and me. This was a blast from our past. We were fans of the USA Network show "Up All Night," a late-night program hosted by Rhonda Shear at one point and Gilbert Gottfried at another. They would show a pair of bad movies and share really bad jokes before and after the commercial breaks. We caught this flick one night, and it became one of our favorites, mostly because of one immortal line. And probably the butts. I'm sure we enjoyed the butts.

Before seeing it again this past week, I couldn't have told you much about it. I knew a character's name, could tell you that they wind up in Mexico, and could imitate that aforementioned line with perfection. But that was about it. What was probably most interesting about watching this movie again for the first time in probably 27 years was how every single beat seemed memorable. It was like I was listening to a song I played to death in the 80s and haven't heard in a long time but can still sing along with. It was all just so familiar.

So although it wasn't a great Bad Movie Club experience, I am definitely glad to revisit this one.

It's an action comedy in which there isn't much action at all and the comedy doesn't work. The tone is very tongue-in-cheek, and everybody involved seems to be having a good time making the thing. That's the sort of fun that can be infectious, and I think it definitely is here, at least for a while. This is definitely one of those films that loses its momentum and really fails to get it back, and by the end, you might struggle to stick with these characters. I enjoyed watching Elizabeth Kaitan, a B-movie actress in Slave Girls from Beyond Infinity and other crappy films but who also played a secretary in the cinematic masterpiece Twins, and she looks a whole lot like Jennifer Lawrence to me. Her Lulu isn't a well-rounded or particularly memorable character, but she does have some round parts that are nice to remember. Christina Walker is Peaches, and I loved watching her dance even though she seemed to have only 2.25 dance moves. I think together, they might have invented twerking with this film. Nick Cassavetes plays a wide-eyed energetic surfer dude, somebody named Tammara Souza plays the boring third bimbo Darlene, and Eddie Deezen gives a memorably goofy performance as a deputy. Most memorably is the extra who utters that line I mentioned with perhaps the greatest delivery in the history of motion pictures.

"Oh no! A bimbo with a gun!"

It's really something beautiful, and I've probably said that 500 times in my life since seeing this movie, sometimes in the presence of bimbos.

This movie is tacky but harmless, really silly but endearing. If you enjoy gratuitous ass shots or road trip comedies, I'm sure there are lots of other places you can go. But this is one that will always have a special place in my heart.

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