Rating: 5/20
Plot: Two guys shack up in a hotel, but their planned suicide at checkout time is interrupted by a vacationing cow.
I'm glad that I don't have anything better to do with my time.
I didn't recognize the name Giuseppe Andrews, but I did see one of his movies before--Period Piece, which reminded me of a less-talented Harmony Korine after he had been clobbered in the head by a more-talented Harmony Korine a few times. You can check the review above, but I'm pretty sure I said something about how nobody should watch that movie.
As I get older, my tolerance for this sort of stuff should be less and less, but I actually kind of got a kick out of this. Andrews has an absurdist humor that can't quite make up for his lack of filter, what has to be a lazy work ethic, and technical ineptness. I laughed a few times, and I groaned a few more.
There are some terrifically bad performances, probably by people who were also in Period Piece. Miles Dougal attempts to channel Jack Nicholson as Leon and gets a great death scene. Walt Dongo (Walt Dongo?) plays his pal. Both of them wear ridiculous wigs. Bill Tyree plays Dingles Davenport, who I believe is the orthopedic shoe killer, getting great lines like, "Hey, can I stay in your trailer? Me and my orthopedic shoe need a place to fuck." Or "I need skirt and spuds before I pound my puds and fill my ortho shoe with the crud from my bunny dud. Nut sacks! Nut sacks!" That's something else. As is his "I got a groin" soliloquy which makes me weep just thinking about it.
And then there's the performance of Vietnam Ron, the guy who plays the cow. He gets a great dance sequence, after which he apologizes for not knowing how a cow dances and then laughs. I'm not sure that was scripted. In fact, I'm not sure any of this was. He also says, "Yeah, my udders look dazzling" at one point, and he attempts to milk himself. It's wonderful!
With random words ("Udders" or "High five") appearing on the screen, multiple plot twists involving flatulence, cuckoo clock sound effects, groin goulash, a ventriloquist dummy with added breasts, several instances where the cameraman can be seen in a hotel room mirror, and an odd ending showing a bunch of actual cows, nobody's going to accuse this of being uninspired. It's lunatic fringe material, and I almost want to like it. . I just wish it wasn't so juvenile.
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