Movies-a-Go-Go: The Corpse Vanishes

1942 horror movie

Rating: 11/20

Plot: A newspaper reporter tries to unravel the mystery of the epidemic of vanishing bride corpses, an investigation that takes her to the home of a very strange scientist and his strange family.

I sincerely doubt anybody cares about these Movies-a-Go-Go things even when they've seen the movies, and I know nobody's going to care about this one. But here it goes anyway.

The movie starts with irony as a bride dies during the ceremony. Usually, marriages means death for the groom. Rimshot!

“Well, I’ve heard of ambulance chasin’, but this must be somethin’ new!” You could just tell that guy has been waiting his whole life to deliver that line.

Vince Barnett, and it turns out I've seen him in loads of things

The acting in this is abysmal thus far. The guy whom police are questioning about the bride’s corpse disappearance is especially bad.

Ok, apparently that actor playing the reporter is going to deliver every single line like he’s been waiting his whole career to do it. Very enthusiastic acting.

I want to do my part to bring “make it snappy” back into the vernacular.

Bela Lugosi playing a little peek-a-boo there.

“Mother, you’re about to lose me.” Wrong words in these bride-dropping-dead days, honey!

That orchid is poisonous.

I can’t believe how gleeful the two reporters are after another bride drops dead. They're just so thrilled to get the scoop.

This elaborate poisonous orchid plan seems like it might work, but wouldn’t it kill others in close proximity to the bride, too? Like, maybe the groom?

The police not seeing Bela and his pals stealing the corpse is implausible.

The police pull over a suspicious vehicle and find a coffin with Bela Lugosi in it and decide he’s a “corpse all right, but not the right one.” Isn’t that something they should be checking out anyway?

“This orchid has a peculiar odor. That’s unusual.” Yes, that’s what peculiar means. You're a reporter and should probably know that.

Angelo Rossitto! The main reason I popped this movie in!

All 2'11" of him! 

Bela’s chick just said something like “it moisten take time,” and instantly out-accents Bela Lugosi. That’s no easy feat!

Extracting bride juice seems to be a job Lugosi’s character takes great pleasure in. Anything to shut up his whimpering wife though.

Lugosi just whipped Rossitto’s brutish older brother for petting the corpse, apparently a no-no in the lab. This isn’t ‘Nam! There are rules!

Watching Rossitto clap while Lugosi whips the guy has caused me to become pleasantly aroused.

“Looks like that box has got a coffin in it!” The accents in this movie are so great! Bela, his wife, this guy from the swamps of Jersey.

It seems that Rossitto is playing a mute dwarf. That's unfortunate.

Dr. Foster looked familiar, so I looked him up. He’s played by an actor with a great name--Tristram Coffin.

"I am NOT familiar!"

“Get out, you gargoyle! Get out!” That’s no way to talk to Angelo Rossitto!

Lugosi’s wife is a total bitch! Unwanted guests get slapped, dwarfs get called names. This bride juice must have the side effect of meanness.

Writer, pitching this screenplay: “Ok, so there’s this evil horticulturist.”
Studio executive: “You can stop right there! I'm sold!”

Really? Rossitto has to carry her bag upstairs? The guy’s 2’11”, and that just seems cruel.

“I guess you sleep very good. Maybe. He he he he.” Yes! Rossitto's not mute after all!

I may have to try to become an Angelo Rossitto completist. I’ll check later, but I’m willing to bet I’ve said that somewhere else on this blog before. [Note: Can't find anything. He did win the Billy Curtis for 2015.]

Seriously, I think I could put scenes of Rossitto walking on a loop and just watch it all day. Is there something wrong with me?

Bela’s character wanders through secret passages to stand and watch people sleep while Rossitto’s brute of a brother enjoys petting hair.

Sleeping in coffins--that’s pretty classy, but how do they have sex? Do they just climb into one coffin?

I can’t be the only one who watched this movie and wanted to find that out, right?

I was too busy looking up Tristram Coffin’s name to find out why he’s even staying at Bela Lugosi’s house. He’s a doctor, so presumably, it’s for doctor reasons.

I don’t know the big guy’s name, but he’s certainly got the “dumb brute” walk down. He might also have the worst haircut I’ve ever seen, and was really going to town on a chicken leg. And now I’m aroused once again.

Uh oh. He’s touching hair again. He’s kind of like Lenny in Of Mice and Men except not as bright.

Busted, Lenny! And Bela’s got a three-strikes-and-you’re-out policy when it comes to touching women’s hair. One more time, and it’ll be no more chicken legs for you!

“Don’t be afraid, Angel. I will not hurt you.” And, choke! Apparently, it’s a two-strikes-and-you’re-strangled policy.

Dr. Foster: “Oh, I’m sorry, I thought you were up.”
Woman: “Up? I’ve been up all night with dead people!”

Bela Lugosi’s eyebrows are mesmerizing.

“I find a coffin much more comfortable than a bed. Many people do.” They do, Bela?

Sure, you can tell Dr. Foster about your hunches regarding the vanishing bride case. You’ve got doctor/woman-he-just-met confidentiality.

Angel, the brute, is gone now. He got himself Lenny’ed to death. He was played by Frank Moran who was in a bunch of Preston Sturges movies.

“That’s the Dr. Foster I was telling you about.” No! Your editor probably thought it was just a coincidental second Dr. Foster.

“Cockeyed nightmare.” No wonder this guy’s the editor! He can turn a phrase like a son of a bitch.

Yawn! This science lesson about glands and hormones might bring this movie to a complete halt. It also doesn’t seem like the writer of this movie really understood what he was talking about.

Well, it just became clear why Minerva Urecal, the woman playing Rossitto and Moran’s mom, didn’t get many speaking parts in this.

Urecal was in other movies with Lugosi. Think he was hitting that?

Holy crap! Dr. Foster sure moves quickly. Proposing already?

Isn’t the wedding happening right now? Why would the minister be sending for anybody?

Lurking Rossitto! Man, this little guy is just so good.

Oh, crap! And now he’s been shot. “Please, master! Don’t leave me!” At least he got a quality death scene.

What are they going to do with the newspaper reporter? She doesn’t have any bride juice to extract, does she?

Wow, Lugosi got himself a nice death scene, too.

Guy: “Is she dead?”
Lady: “No. Just scared to death.”

And the male news guy gets the final line and laugh of the movie.

These just-over-an-hour films are so sloppily paced. It feels like they were in a rush to get to through these stories, likely so that nobody will pay attention to the parts of them that don’t really make much sense.

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