City of God

2002 movie

Rating: 18/20

Plot: The true story of how the Brazilian equivalent of the Boy Scouts of America was formed.

This movie starts with chickens. Chickens are haunting me this year. Sure, you expect to see some chickens in a documentary about chickens. But it seems that chickens find their way into about half of the movies I'm watching this year. Herzog doesn't like chickens.

 

See? The beginning of this movie is a stunning look at a chicken being de-feathered and eviscerated and chopped into pieces. Spliced into that are very quick shots of a large gleaming knife being sharpened and a bunch of people who are looking forward to eating a chicken. And then you have a shot of a scrawny chicken watching the proceedings and waiting for its turn, and that chicken gives one of the best performances I think I've ever seen by a bird in a movie. The chicken trembles, gives this "Oh shit!" look at the camera, and eventually makes its escape. Somehow, the camera follows the chicken through the streets. Watching it all unfold is invigorating for some reason, and the scene, one that starts the movie but actually takes place later in the story, really sets the stage for everything that happens in the titular slums. For the protagonist, a poor guy who just wants to take pictures and lose his virginity, this is a place that can be overwhelmingly frightening and seemingly impossible to escape. This movie is entertaining with a vibrantly told story and colorful characters, but its most effective at disturbing you with the harsh realities of this particular spot in our world and really making you feel what some of the characters are feeling. Lots will disturb unless we're all desensitized to seeing a movie with about half of the scenes featuring children holding guns and occasionally shooting each other in the face. Those faces themselves are disturbing, so callous as they go about their violent business. More disturbing is seeing Li'l Ze (actually, Lil Dice at this point) in action for the first time. It's a laugh that, if you don't remember anything else in any movie you've ever seen, you'll likely remember forever. That crazed character is probably more interesting and surely more complex than Rocket, the main character. It's fascinating to watch all these youngsters bounce off each other, dangerous little unpredictable firecrackers in a vibrating cube. It's a world dominated by children--I believe parents are shown in this movie during exactly one scene--but they're not children. They've been shaped into something else. And you think, "I can't believe that people are like this in any part of the world," but then you think about the part of the world you live in and see enough similarities. Your world's got chickens, too. This is flashy and fresh, with a twisty narrative that almost reminds you of Tarantino but with every ounce of hope slurped out. City of God (I think that might be ironic because I didn't see God in this place) is a great film, but it's almost hard to be entertained by it because these characters seem more real than movie characters, and you just know there's not much hope for some of them.

 

 

There were other movie posters for this, but I picked the one with a chicken on it. 

The French Connection

1971 action thriller

Rating: 18/20

Plot: Long before he would meet Olive Oyl, Popeye works with his partner in the narcotics unit where he tries to stop that guy in those Bunuel movies from making life a lot more fun for people in New York City.

One of my least favorite movies ever is The French Connection II which I'm reminded exists every time I think about The French Connection. That movie is as terrible as this one is brilliant, just one of those nearly-perfect movies from cinema's best decade. I guess you really have to start with Hackman's performance and the character created here. That or you start by wondering why a song performed in this movie had the lyric "It's customary in songs like this to use a word like spoon." No, it's better to start with the character, a kind of anti-hero. Hackman just seems so big, towering over everybody else. I think when I first watched this movie, I thought Gene Hackman had to have been 7'4" or something in that neighborhood, and not with a scrawny Manute Bol build either but a burly 7'4". Then, I realized that this was the same guy who was in Superman and wondered where his hair went and how he lost a foot and a half. I was a stupid child. Doyle's slightly racist, probably a misogynist, and chews his gum obnoxiously. He's loud and crude, but you never deny that he's really good at what he does, and I think it's impossible not to enjoy watching him go about his business. Oh, and he sure likes his boots on women, doesn't he? Partner Roy Scheider's good though somewhat overshadowed by the star, and Fernando Rey brings some class into this often too-gritty urban crime drama as the criminal mastermind. This movie is the epitome of grit, really diving into the oily crevices to bring out the soul of the story. Things get ugly here, but it works because the world Popeye Doyle is charged with protecting is an ugly one. I'm not sure the camera has to jerk around that much though. I like the attention to detail there is, all the tiny spectacles this movie has to offer. Love seeing Hackman chasing down a guy while wearing a Santa suit, a lengthy scene where the good guys are stalking the bad guys on the streets, that absolutely ridiculous little cat-and-mouse game on the subway that was really probably too ridiculous to even work. It's brilliant stuff. And then, of course, there's one of the best car chases ever filmed. And things end with a bang, literally. A bang more open-ended than any bang I can think of, an ambivalent bang. Great movie, but I'm always a little surprised when I think of it cleaning up at the Academy Awards. Wouldn't this have been more than a little daring in 1971? Regardless, it seems like people have been trying to make another one of these for over forty years.

Sorry about the spoiler on that poster up there.

The Master

2012 Paul Thomas Anderson movie

Rating: 18/20

Plot: A Navy veteran doesn't know what to do with himself. He's tried poisoning people, copulating with sand women, and ejaculating into the ocean. He's part of the Greatest Generation! One night, he finds himself aboard the boat of the titular cult-leader/new-age philosopher/self-help author and is pulled into The Cause.

OK, this wasn't one of the fifteen movies nominated for Best Picture? I can't compare what Joaquin Phoenix did here to what Daniel Day-Lewis did as Lincoln because I haven't seen Lincoln. I find it hard to believe that his Lincoln is better than Phoenix's Freddie Quell though. I really do. Forgive the hyperbolizing, but Phoenix's performance is the best and most powerful performance that I have seen in a very long time, one of those that, even if you completely forgot the movie, you'd not forget. The mannerisms, the posture, this emotion that you know he had to dig deep for as this sex-obsessed impotent guy. There's this balance of raw power and wounded weakness that is mesmerizing, and it's a treat watching Phoenix juggle the different dimensions of the character. It's amazing, the kind of character that just grabs you until you think your face is about to be bitten off. Philip Seymour Hoffman's no slouch either, and although it would be hard for me to go Hoffman over Waltz in Django, I do think the argument could be made. The tension these two create with their characters, their jagged rapport, the way they scream and spit all over each other. They're a pair of performances to behold, dear friends. There's a lengthy interview session that should be the most boring thing ever committed to film, but watching these two actors wrestle with it is nothing short of thrilling, a scene that made my heart pound as much as any action scene in the last decade. You'd never think that much suspense could be built up over whether or not a character is going to blink. Amy Adams is mighty fine here, too, even better than she was in that Muppet movie. Her character's an enigma. She's background until you notice, and then you realize that's she's the vertebrae of this thing and appreciate the way that character's created. For the second Anderson movie in a row, Radiohead-guy Jonny Greenwood handles the score. I like the chances he takes with that. I had trepidation going into this movie, but hot damn, how I loved it! It's the kind that will just stick with you, like movies from the 1970s only a lot better looking. This is the best 2012 movie that I have seen in what I'm starting to think was a really good year for movies.

Black Narcissus

1947 nun movie

Rating: 18/20 (Mark: 15/20)

Plot: A group of nuns have trouble dealing with the fact that they, unlike some of their counterparts, are unable to fly. They move to the highest spot they can find to start a school and hospital for the locals. They try to get used to their new home, and one of them goes daffy!

This is a classic clash between religion and heathenism, and although the nuns go to this location to change its inhabitants, they're actually the ones who change. I think it's because they're people. I like movies with nuns even when Whoopi Goldberg or Nic Cage aren't involved. The nun who goes nutzoid is quite the hottie, like a 1940's Winona Ryder. And I'm allowed to lust after a movie nun. I've checked the Bible and couldn't find anything against that. I can definitely do it with this movie since this movie is all about sex. Well, it's partially about sex. It's as much about sex as Alien is. Michael Powell, who co-directed it with Emeric Pressburger, even claimed it was the most erotic movie he ever made. So much of the plot of this movie and its conflicts are underneath the surface, and I think that's what I like so much about it. My brother claims that there was an attempt to make the setting a main character and that it "ultimately doesn't work very well." I don't think that's the case. I think the setting is only one of the influences on the nuns' states of mind and their outcomes, and if anything non-human is the main character, it's something like faith or temptation. The setting is breathtaking though with lots of fantastic and vertigo-inducing shots, some lovely 1940's painted backdrops, and loads of color. I really liked the color in the indoor scenes, too. A couple local characters add some color, too. My brother and I both enjoyed the antics of an over-acting old woman whose name I can't find, but my favorite character was a medicine man without a single line but who kind of works as a foil for the nuns. We also both liked the costumes of David Farrar who spends most of the movie either strolling around with a pipe and too-short short pants or straddling a pony. He's got perfectly imperfect hair. Great movie, a very quiet one that has a lot of loudness underneath.

Check out that poster. "Fascinating adventure" might stretch things a little bit. But look at how ugly that thing is.

Alien

1979 sci-fi horror classic

Rating: 18/20

Plot: The titular fiend is loose on a spaceship where it starts picking off the crew one by one. A woman with ill-fitting underpants has to stop it.

This is the movie that my "ill-fitting underpants" tag was made for. And this is a movie that I was fascinated by way before I saw it. It came out when I was six, far too young to see it since the poster alone is terrifying. My father, however, bought me a Xenomorph doll, a foot-tall plastic guy with a button in the back that, when pushed, pushed a second set of menacing teeth from his mouth. It was not an appropriate gift for a child of six, and I didn't know what to do with it. I probably had my Star Wars action figures kill it over and over again. Anyway, I saw the monster in this franchise long before I saw the first movie which seems odd because one of the reasons why I think this movie works so well is that they don't let you see the monster for a really long time. You see eggs, you see a Facehugger (coincidentally also the name of something you can purchase from certain prostitutes), and you see the Xenomorph in bits and pieces, but you don't see the monster as well as I saw it in plastic form on my birthday when I was six.

It's hard to find a flaw in this movie, and I should probably give it a 20/20 just because it's one of the best science fiction movies of all time, one of the best horror movies of all time, and probably the very best horror/sci-fi movies of all time. The story's derivative, and it's easy to find the same yarn spun in the 50's and 60s'. Here, here, and this here Mario Bava film are some examples I could think of. The story had never been told like this, and it's never been told this successfully since. The opening credits and the way the title appears--deliberately, like the rest of the movie--with the scraping and rumbling minimalistic music set the tone early. Then, Ridley Scott gives us a tour of the Nostromo, taking his time to get to any characters or a story. The characters are snoozing anyway. The set design for the spaceship is impressive except for the Christmas lights on the bottom of it. That tour of the Nostromo creates this sense of loneliness, makes it palpable. Space looks great in this movie, too, no better than what Kubrick did the previous decade though. Kubrick didn't have Harry Dean Stanton though, and this movie does. There's not a lot of character develop here as they're kind of just there to be killed by the Xenomorph. But they get to exist like you'd figure bored astronauts would exist. I like how the dialogue is handled during a less-famous dinner scene where the characters talk like they think they're in a Robert Altman movie. The biggest surprise about the characters? Just look at the last three survivors--a black guy and two girls. Who would have predicted that? The black guys are always the first to go in horror movies! And women? A lot of the fear in this is because of how effective Scott is at building up tension. It's relentless, even if you've seen the movie. It's almost relentless even if you're not seeing the movie. There are times in this when you could listen to the sound effects alone and be terrified. There are a ton of memorable scenes and shots. The more-famous dinner scene reminds me of a Thanksgiving dinner I was once at, only less gruesome. I still remember watching that scene for the first time and being shocked and mesmerized. And check out that cute little guy skitter across the room! There are scenes that would terrify claustrophobics even more than non-claustrophobics, but a lot of the fear, I think, has to do the amount of sexual imagery in this thing. The imagery hits you more psychologically--taking advantage of women's fears of being sexually assaulted and men's fears of being attacked by a homosexual. Next time you watch this thing, watch for sexual imagery just to see if I'm making it up.

The Mirror

1975 time travel movie

Rating: 18/20

Plot: A guy who may or may not be married to his own mother has his life flash before his eyes while he lies on his deathbed.

I should start off by confessing that I have no business writing about this movie. A lot of people who have stumbled upon my little blog probably wonder if I have business writing about any movie. The Mirror is a tough one to write about because it's in a different language. I'm not talking linguistically here although this is in Russian and I did have difficult reading the subtitles because I didn't really want to force my eyes away from doing their job of soaking in everything on the screen. Words were almost distracting in The Mirror. But I'm talking about the language of film. This is almost otherworldly in its storytelling, shifting from the past to the earlier past to the present in ways that make it difficult on the soul. You have to allow yourself to drift, admire the shots that seem like they're borrowed from paintings, and appreciate Tarkovsky's ability to make you feel--even if you don't completely understand--through visuals. There are all these perfectly little orchestrated shot sequences, awe-inspiring. And Tarkovsky is one of those rare directors who can make the wind blow and make birds land on top of kids' heads. It's like he's making magic instead of making a movie. There was some narrated poetry which was tough for me because I wasn't smart enough to understand it, and at times this thing seemed so personal to its creator that I had a little trouble connecting, at least on a superficial level. But then there were shots I couldn't get out of my head as I went to sleep after watching this, and I realized that this is the type of movie that you understand in ways you don't understand. One of those is a shot of Margarita Terekhova--the actress who plays both the mother and the wife in this, a choice Tarkovsky made because, I assume, he wanted to confuse me even more--after she kills a chicken. She stares a haunting stare at the viewer from another time. Time, time, time. That's what this movie is about. Past, movie present, the future when the audience is watching the movie. The final five or ten minutes of this thing has at least two of those coming together so effortlessly and so gorgeously. It's poetry on the screen.

The City of Lost Children

1995 fantasy

Rating: 18/20

Plot: An evil guy, with the help of six clones and a little person, attempts to extend his life by stealing the dreams of children. One of those children is the "brother" of a strongman who teams up with an orphan thief to save him.

Hot damn, how I love this movie! Everything about it! From the whopper of the opening with the multitudinous Santas, a chilling little nightmare with wobbly visuals, to the happy little ending, the director duo of Marc Caro and Jean-Pierre Jeunet use the film medium to show us things that we've never seen before. And there's just something beautiful about that. They build a world, an unknown time and an unknown place, that we've never seen before. There's a ton of brown, dilapidation, decay, general stickiness, and it's the perfect place for this little story to take place, this grotesque little fairy tale without a glimpse of a single fairy. There's a little Dr. Caligari in the landscapes, a little sci-fi, a whole lot of imagination. Love the details, especially all the stuff in the background of the bearded original Dominique Pinon's underwater home. Speaking of Dominique Pinon--how brilliant is he in this? There are seven of him, often on screen at the same time, and his facial contortions and slapstick silliness are hilarious. Daniel Emilfork plays the evil Krankg, and he nails evil but not without a bit of humor. The scene where he becomes Santa is uproariously hilarious. Emilfork's got the perfect head for this movie and this character. I also love the Octopus twins choreography, and there are plenty of sight gags with those two, my favorite being where the one smokes a cigarette and the other blows out the smoke. I'd also watch a cooking show hosted by those two. I think Tati would have appreciated the Octopus. And then there's Mireille Mosse, a little woman with a giant head. It's another example of perfect casting, maybe one of my favorite little person roles ever. And that's just for the line "Good bye, Grasshopper." This movie is just pure child-like imagination unleashed. Flea hypnotism, Cyclops men forcing a fellow Cyclops man to watch his own murder, a talking brain in an aquarium. It's one of those rare stories where nothing that happens feels borrowed. Also, it's the type of story where nothing simply happens. Instead, you get all these Rube Goldberg shenanigans. The demise of the Octopus and Miette's breaking into a room are the best examples. Add Badalamenti's beautiful score, and you've got yourself a classic! I do believe, by the way, that this thing is symbolically chunky, a story about innocence and what happens when childish innocence is corrupted by things in the adult world. It hurts my head trying to pick this thing apart, however. For me, it's a movie to just absorb. I can still remember the first time I saw this; it put a smile on my face for weeks. Subsequent viewings are just as rewarding. It's one of those movies that I really can appreciate more because I don't remember any of my dreams. This, and a litter of other movies from the Lynches, Jodorowskies, Maddins, and Svankmajers of the world, are substitutes for dreams and nightmares that float away from me before I wake up. Just beautiful, imaginative stuff.

Oprah Movie Club Pick for May: North by Northwest

1959 thriller

Rating: 18/20

Plot: An advertising executive is mistaken for a CIA agent who doesn't even exist and has to traverse the country to find him and exculpate himself of a crime he didn't commit. He meets a blonde and nearly ruins his suit.

First, here's the location for the crop-dusting scene on Google Maps. I thought this was cool.

Hitchcock had a gift for creating thrills, but the thing that sticks out more for me in North by Northwest is the randiness and comedic touches. He and writer Ernest Lehman sauce things up with the arrival of the fetching Eva Marie Saint. The dialogue titillates, double entendres sparkle. Grant's suave and charming, the kind of dude who demonstrates a Hemingwayian "grace under pressure" when taking the time to flirt with a random broad while being chased by good guys and bad guys and chasing non-existent guys, but when you take a step back and look at him, he's not all that bright. Eve Kendell's a little too convenient, isn't she? The character might be great at playing the role, so seductive that his part nearly shifts, but why wouldn't a question like "Wait a second--why is she helping me?" ever cross his mind? I guess because his mind's in his trousers. I'm trying to place myself in Thornhill's loafers to decide whether I'd take the risk for a chance to have Eva Marie Saint fondle the back of my head, and I think I've ultimately decided that I would. She is, after all, a "big girl" "in all the right places," and there's just something about the little movements of her eyebrows, the way her fingers dance across Grant's ears, and the way she blows out a match that would be hard to resist. I know there are folks who would have liked to see another actress in this role, but Eva Marie Saint nails it for me, and I'd find it hard to believe that Cary Grant was without a boner in more than a few of these scenes. Love the way she says "I'm twenty-six and unmarried. Now you know everything." Their whole back-and-forth on the train is as stimulating as any modern sex scene, and they don't even "do it" (as the kids would say) on that first train ride. I know that because Hitchcock shows us an exterior shot of the train rumbling powerfully down the tracks while saving the phallic-symbol-entering-a-tunnel shot for the very end of the film. Randy!

Man, "using sex like some people use a flyswatter" is such a good line. He's got a few good lines. I like the one where he asks about which "subtle form of manslaughter" is going to be attempted next after they bad guys have tried to kill him by staging a drunk driving accident and hitting him with a plane. Not the most practical ways to end somebody's life. He also, exhibiting more of that grace under pressure, cracks jokes about real bullets and takes jabs at Eva. And he does it all like a true movie star, just exuding the kind of coolness that could make some men question their sexuality. They don't make movie stars like that anymore unless you'd put Clooney in that category. I also liked Landau's henchman character. There was just enough subtle suggestion to make you wonder about Leonard's sexuality and throw a submerged love triangle subplot in there. The camera just caught Landau's Leonard staring longingly at his boss too often. Speaking of Vandamm, I like how our first glimpse of him shows him playing croquet. And we learn later that he's not even playing croquet at his own house and maybe, unless he brought his own set along, playing with his own equipment. For whatever reason, that's funny. [Edit: My father tells me that it's Landau playing croquet. Are they both playing? It's not a game you're supposed to play by yourself.] The bad guys aren't exactly well-written characters, and there's little depth. They're just kind of there to throw Thornhill into different situations.

I hadn't seen this movie in a long time and remembered some of the effects being dated. I thought there was more green screen use, I guess. I'm not sure what I was thinking because the two big moments--the plane and Mt. Rushmore--look really good. Well, Mt. Rushmore looks as if it's a little too small, but I don't know for sure because I've never been there. But I did really believe the characters were climbing down the faces on that monument. That entire sequence seems like it would be too goofy to work, but I like what Hitchcock does with camera angles, and the suspense overshadows the absurdity of the whole thing. The crop-dusting scene takes place in Indiana, something that I was not aware of. That's appropriate because that kind of thing happens in Western Indiana all the time. That's a great scene, especially if you have seen the movie or looked at the poster and spotted the plane. Hitchcock uses time very well there and gets away with having Cary Grant just stand there looking at dirt for a lot longer that most people would think about having him stand there looking at dirt. The entire thing is shown sans music, and if you listen closely enough, you can hear the rumbling plane the whole time. Later, there's the great shot of Grant and the guy with the hat standing on opposite sides of the road just looking at each other and a great use of rustling corn. Great scene! The only effect that does look a little quaint is the drunken drive chase sequence. Grant's facial expressions don't help that scene much.

The whole movie isn't sans music, of course, and Bernard Herrmann's  score is terrific. I love the boisterous opening music, stuff you're just not going to hear in movies anymore. They don't make movie stars and they don't do movie music like that anymore. There are times when Herrmann's score is a little too big maybe, but it punctuates perfectly most of the time, easily enhancing more than it gets in the way. His compositions always make driving seem more exciting than it does in other movies.

This also has one of my favorite Hitchcock cameos. He gets it out of the way early here. A tiny razor, uproarious elevator laughter, another mom character, a pair of stolen cabs, unintelligible dialogue at an airport, and, according to my father, a kid in a restaurant covering his ears. There's just a ton to love about this mistaken identity everyman adventure yarn!

Shane Reviews the Greatest Movies Ever Made: Tokyo Story

1953 movie

Rating: 18/20

Plot: Old people visit their children and grand-children and are indirectly told to go be old someplace else.

Like a lot of Japanese movies, this is a very wise movie. And quiet. In a way, it seems even quieter than Sunrise, the silent movie I watched in the Sight and Sound list top ten. It's not a movie that wows you exactly, but Ozu does manage to grip you emotionally. The quiet direction, simple dialogue, and complete lack of anything that anybody would mistake as action almost force the viewer to reflect. Ozu's camera shows his characters almost exclusively in shots two or three feet from the ground which gives this an interesting perspective. I'm not smart enough to know why he does that or what effect it has on the viewer. My guess: Ozu had a tripod incident in which he broke off part of one leg, had to shave off a few inches from the other two legs, found that they were still uneven, shaved off a few more inches, etc. until he was left with a tiny tripod that all the other directors probably made fun of behind his back. Well, the jokes on those other guys because I liked the look of this! I also like how the camera never moves. Well, it moves once, almost shockingly, at the one hour and one minute mark. As I said, Ozu gives us lots of time in this movie to reflect. Characters will leave rooms, but the camera lets us know that the room they left continues to exist for a few moments. It forces us to think about what the characters just said to one another. Adding to the reflective tone are Ozu's transition shots of pretty much nothing--a hallway and a window with wind chimes, a clothesline with white clothes, cloud, factory pipes, a boat. The dialogue is simple, and although the actors don't get any big moments to give them a chance to show what Acting with that capital A looks like, they're all good. Of course, the old couple are at the center of things, and they play human beings so perfectly. Chieko Higashiyama is terrific just because she has to sit there have more than one character call her fat. Chishu Ryu, who starts all his lines with an Um or a Yeah or a So, is stunning in the way he holds in all these emotions. They're really beautiful performances. Their dialogue is all so very simple. It's a lot of the unsaid things that mean a lot more than what is said, along with all these moments of silence. Glances between characters, especially, say so much.

One moment stands out in this, and it's a moment with some levity. I love how characters on a bus bounce together, almost right to the goofy accompanying music. It's a scene that would probably be more appropriate in a Tati movie.

This is a terrific movie. Don't get me wrong. It very well might be perfect. However, I wonder if it would even be in my personal top-15 for Japanese movies.

The Exterminating Angel

1962 comedy

Rating: 18/20

Plot: Some fancy-pants attend a dinner party. Afterwards, they are unable to leave. Things get desperate. Sheep enter the room, and later, there's a bear.

Subtle surreal shenanigans! This movie isn't uproariously funny, but there's a tone of humorous tension that I really like. Apparently, this was banned in the Soviet Union because the idea of characters unable to leave a party was considered anti-Communist. That's funny, too. It's casually surreal stuff, probably my favorite movie of one of my favorite directors. I like how the surreal touches--a woman with feathers and bird feet in her purse, the aforementioned animals, a scene with a hand--are things that none of the guests pay any attention to. I suppose there's a point there just like there's a point to all the repetition. Some of that repetition, like when characters say the exact same things or how the guests arrive at the party twice, almost seem like errors in editing. The cinematography is wonderful; the camera moves from person to person so fluidly during group conversations. There's a rhythm and choreography to the whole thing. Shots in mirrors of shoes being tied or apathetic faces are also cool. It all builds elegantly to a funny subversive and memorable punchline. I prefer this movie to its most likely companion--Bunuel's The Discreet Charm of the Bourgeoisie, a movie where characters also attempt to have dinner.

Reservoir Dogs (Redux)

1992 Tarantino film

Rating: 18/20 (Dylan: 14/20)

Plot: My son is going to college soon, and his pool of pop culture knowledge is despicably shallow. I'd be remiss as a father if I didn't attempt to do something about it. When I thought about how he might be sitting in a dorm room some day and have to hear "What? You've never seen Pulp Fiction?", it made me sad. He didn't want to watch Reservoir Dogs until I tricked him into it by telling him there would be talking dogs.

Dylan's thoughts: It was pretty good.
Me: Is that all you want to say? That's pretty lame.
Dylan: It's good enough.

I already have this movie on the blog right here. The rating hasn't changed. I have nothing intelligent to add and more than likely had nothing intelligent to say in the first place. This and Pulp Fiction--the next Tarantino movie I'm making Dylan watch, tricking him this time by convincing him that it's a documentary about orange juice--are endlessly rewatchable. This one is a much simpler story about honorable criminals paying for their crimes, and although the structure is different from its cousins, it's not got the thematic complexity or variety of Tarantino's second movie. It still manages to seem so fresh though. In fact, the director's flair almost stands out more. This time through, I really focused on the relationship between Tim Roth and Harvey Keitel's characters. There's a lingering attention to these two and their emotions. It's not just the dialogue but how much weight is given to the situation which makes what ultimately happens to them pretty moving. These are movie criminals, barely more than cartoons, but they've got flesh, and when they bleed, they seem to bleed in ways that matter. The way all the characters come to life is amazing, a combination of quality acting, writing, and story organization. There's not a bad acting apple in the bunch unless you're as annoyed by Tarantino's skills as much as I used to be. But it's not like he's around all that long. Roth's pain is especially cartoonish, and he always sounds like Bobcat Goldthwaite to me. And his practice sessions telling that story about the drug-sniffing dog don't seem all that natural. However, everything that somebody could say is wrong about his performance in Reservoir Dogs should be forgotten with his expression after he shoots that woman. That's so perfect. Keitel oozes cool, compulsive hair combing and all. The way he reassures Roth's character--"I didn't know you were a doctor!"--makes me laugh. Buscemi's Mr. Pink is classically greasy, and it's one of those characters that you just can't imagine another person being able to pull off. His activities during the Mexican stand-off also make me laugh. And his running after the failed heist when he knocks over a guy on the sidewalk produces the greatest use of the Wilhelm Scream that I have ever heard. In fact, I'll go ahead and say that it's the greatest use that I'll ever hear because I don't think it can be topped. I think I could listen to Buscemi and Tierney's argument about the Mr. Pink name every day and not get tired of it. Madsen's Vic Vega is a character that doesn't make much sense at all and probably couldn't survive outside of a Tarantino movie. The ear scene is always a little hard to watch for me, but you have to love a character who stops for a soft drink after a heist-gone-wrong. "Are you going to bark all day, little doggy, or are you going to bite?" is a great line, but how about your last words being a quote from The Wizard of Oz? That just seems like an impossible way for a violent criminal to go.

Ok, I'm going to digress. If you were about to die, which quote from The Wizard of Oz would you want to be your last words? I know what I wouldn't want it to be--"Lions and tigers and bears, oh my!" Maybe "What puts the 'ape' in apricot?" would be a good one just because it would be "Rosebud"-y enough to make people wonder what the hell I was talking about. How about "I can barely hear my heart beating"?

I also like Madsen's little dance. The aforementioned Tierney is great, too, such a cool old man. Two more things I really like about this movie: 1) The way Stephen Wright pronounces the word "behemoth" and 2) that message to Tony above a doorway--"Watch your head."

The Karate Kid

1984 classic

Rating: 18/20

Plot: Daniel moves to California, gets in a fight over a boom box, and is bullied by skeletons. His apartment's handyman, a mysterious Japanese man, decides to teach him karate for a chance to win a trophy and his dignity.

After watching this for the first time in far too long (Note: I'm thinking of making a monthly viewing mandatory.), the new one with the Fresh Prince's daughter pisses me off even more. This one is about perfect, its only flaw being that it was made in the 1980s and therefore has the feel of a movie from the 1980s. I was deathly ill when I watched this but still managed to scribble down some notes. Here they are:

1) Ah, the joy of push-starting your car with trumpet fanfare in the background.

2) What's going on with Freddy Fernandez's shirt? "Makin' bacon"? I totally want one of those, and I'm using it as an excuse to use my bestiality tag. With that shirt, it's obvious that this guy is too cool for Daniel.

3) That old lady from Jersey with a nose for her own? Is it just me or does this foreshadow America's current obsession with people from New Jersey? Does this note even make any sense?

4) Pat Morita turns around--it's another of those iconic movie moments that make an indelible impression on the mind.

5) Love the rapport between Miyagi and Daniel. Morita's broken Yoda English and Macchio's Jersey accent clash and compliment each other so perfectly in this movie.

6) I'm so glad Daniel wore his nicest jean shorts and muscle shirt to the beach party. No matter Elizabeth Shue wants him. It's love at first sight of those jean shorts and muscle shirt.

7) "You sure pick cool people to be friends with, Freddy. Where's you find this guy?" Yeah, I'd expect more from a guy with a "Makin' bacon" t-shirt, too. But c'mon, beach partiers. Didn't you see Daniel playing soccer earlier?

8) Macchio really knows how to rock a pair of sweat pants. Actually, the costume people for this should have been fired. Macchio's so good in this movie, and I can only assume that his character's fashion choices had everything to do with his career not really going anywhere after the Karate Kid movies. Camouflage pants with a plaid shirt? Who dreamed that one up?

9) Pain, fear, defeat. Those are things that don't exist in that dojo. Of course, that was before the Cobra Kai sensei heard that Joe Esposito song.

10) Ralph Macchio was in his late-40s when he starred in this, but he looks half the age of his "peers." That alone should have made the Academy consider him for Best Actor. Am I wrong?

11) "I hate this freakin' bike!" That scene should have sealed it.

12) Daniel's charming, a guy who knows to smell his pits before approaching his girl.

13) Miyagi words of wisdom:

"If [tree picture] comes from inside you, always the right one."
"To make honey, bee need young flower, not old prune."
"Revenge--start by digging two grave."
"In Okinawa, belt mean no need rope to hold up pants."
"Walk on the left side, safe. Walk on the right side, safe. Walk in the middle, squash like grape."
"Man who catch fly with chopstick accomplish anything."
"First learn stand; then learn fly."
"Trust the quality of what you know, not quantity."
"A license never replace eye, ear, and brain."

14) If there's a costume contest at the Halloween dance, the shower curtain wins. Yes, the matching skeletons are pretty bitchin', but that's like seven guys who all look the same. There's only one guy dressed up as a shower curtain. Can you imagine dressing as a shower and showing up to a party only to find somebody else dressed as a shower? That's a scenario that can only end in one way--murder/suicide.

15) Ok, so why does Daniel go to the Halloween dance incognito to avoid the bullies after successfully avoiding them at school and then pull that stunt with the water? That makes no sense whatsoever. He flees the scene; a kid dressed as Spiderman asks, "Hey, Johnny. What's up?"; and Daniel causes a car accident. That water stunt was no good, Daniel-san.

16) "Check out this chicken. He's wild." That's what happens when you let Ralph Macchio ad-lib.

17) Miyagi kicking ass! That foggy atmosphere. Throw in some Japanese flute.

18) Did you know that Mifune was very nearly Mr. Miyagi. Yes, it's hard to think of anybody else in that role, but think about that one for a while.

19) Hard to imagine anybody but Ralph Macchio in the titular role as well, even if it's a little black girl who happens to be the daughter of a rapper. Macchio's just so natural in this character, and the dialogue and the whole learning karate stuff just feels so right.

20) You have to love 1980's insults. "It must be take a worm for a walk week." "She must like fungus." "You're dead meat!" If I had a dollar every time I said "You're dead meat!" as a kid, I'd have something like fifty cents.

21) Why do they all pile in the front seat of the station wagon? A station wagon is the closest thing to a limousine without being a limousine. That's just my opinion, of course, but prove me wrong. Love how Daniel's mom says "Pop it!"

22) "Pop it!" That and the perfect timing with the "Hi, kids!" when she picks Daniel and Shue up from their date at the go-kart and bounce house place (Forty-year-old Macchio must feel ridiculous in that bounce house) make me wonder if Mother Larusso is a MILF or not.

23) Those training methods: Wax on/Wax off, sanding the floor, painting chores. This shit will be imitated forever but never duplicated. And that scene where Daniel discovers that he's been learning defense all along is such a beautiful moment. I'm not ashamed to admit that it brought on the tears, kind readers.

24) That clapping/healing thing. I once did that to my own testicles when, during a soccer game during recess, I was accidentally struck in the under-carriage. I did it for the rest of the day.

25) The crane. Oh, man. If you're my age and didn't imitate that over and over again in 1984-85, then you probably didn't have legs.

26) I really like the way Miyagi goes "Ut ut ut ut" to correct Daniel-san.

27) "Kindly do it yourself, Mr. Moto."

28) 1980's stereotyping of the rich: They play tennis, dance in country clubs, laugh at kids who had spaghetti dumped all over them.

29) Miyagi refers to his wife as a "damn good cane cutter." Is that a euphemism? Nevermind, I already know the answer to that.

30) That tear down inebriated Miyagi's cheek! Maybe it's just because I'm ill, but I can't handle the emotions in The Karate Kid. I remember being so bored with this scene as a kid though. The whole thing seemed pointless, but it all adds so much depth to that character. So touching.

31) Mr. Miyagi trash talk: "What's the matter? You some kind of girl or something?"

32) I'm torn up again during the birthday party. "Number 1 present" brings more tears. And this exchange:

"You're the best friend I ever had."
"You pretty ok, too."

33) Winner of the first match in open division: Rufus Snyder.

34) Oh, holy shit! Here it comes. If I could have stood up without vomiting, there's no way I would have stayed on the couch once Joe Esposito's "You're the Best. . .Around" came on. Greatest montage ever!

35) "Go get him, Johnny!" This really needed an "Attaboy, Luther!" instead. Somebody does manage to slip in a "Hey, Johnny, you're a cream puff" during a silent moment.

36) "Daniel Larusso's gonna fight? Daniel Larusso's gonna fight!" I don't care what you say--that is one of the most magical movie moments of all time.

37) "Get him a body bag! Yeeeeeaaaaahhhhh!" And then "Daniel Larusso's gonna fight!" is immediately surpassed by one of the greatest lines in movie history. Rob Garrison should win some kind of lifetime achievement award for that.

38) Mr. Miyagi's face before the credits role. Somebody put that shot on a poster!

Goldfinger

1964 James Bond movie

Rating: 18/20

Plot: Bond has to stop the titular villain who plans on contaminating the world's gold supply. Oddjob has a dangerous hat. Pussy Galore has a dangerous name.

You think Connery takes great pleasure in saying that first name? Poosy, he says. His expression after Pussy Galore introduces herself is my favorite thing in this movie with a lot of favorite things in it--the cool car with its ejector seat, cute Jill Masterson covered in gold paint for what has to be one of the sexiest deaths in movie history, the delivery of a "What's with that trick pool table?" line, a whole laser-to-the-crotch sequence, scores of extras collapsing from nerve gas like they're in a B-movie (how many extras, do you reckon, fell down more than once?). No, wait. My favorite thing about this is a shot of this old lady with a machine gun. This has everything you'd expect from a James Bond movie but a much better henchman, the mute Oddball. Yes, there are villains who are as iconic, but you can't have a conversation about iconic villains without mentioning him. That first appearance--a shadow with that hat of his--is terrific, and then you get to see him vandalize statues, smash golf balls in his bare hand, and help his boss cheat, all the things you hope to see from a criminal mastermind's henchman. So good. Add in the typical Bond fun dialogue ("You expect me to talk?" "No, Bond, I expect you to die."), double entendre ("Positively shocking" will make you groan.), a car chase or three, some gadgets, a great pre-credit action sequence involving confined fisticuffs, and a ridiculous Shirley Bassey title song, and you've got yourself a Bond film, probably one of the best.

Bonus points for slipping the name Pussy Galore in there. Seriously, how'd that happen?

Shane Reviews the Greatest Movies Ever Made: Rules of the Game

1939 Renoir movie

Rating: 18/20

Plot: It's nearly identical to Porky's actually. A bunch of horny rich people and some equally horny servants shoot at some rabbits and sneak around in an effort to get to--I think--second base with other horny rich people's spouses. Don't quote me on this, but I'm pretty sure second base was the only base you were allowed to get to in the 1930s. Meanwhile, a guy with thin eyebrows shows off his instrument, somebody puts on a bear suit, a coat is borrowed,

I'm making it my goal to make a board game out of this movie. If a Welcome Back, Kotter board game once existed (It did.), why not a The Rules of the Game game? I just want to give people the opportunity to say, "Let's go over the rules of The Rules of the Game the Game."

This is the first in my series of movies from the Sight and Sound Greatest Freakin' Movies of All Time list. It seems that anything in the top ten should be perfect, and to avoid ridicule from more knowledgeable movie bloggers, I'm going to go ahead and slap a 20/20 on this mo-fo. [Edit: I have since changed my mind. This movie, being a little boring, was no 20/20. Bring on the ridicule if you must.] However, a perfect movie should be, well, perfect. And I thought of a way to improve The Rules of the Game, therefore making it less than perfect. My suggestion: Add Rocky Balboa--in color, of course--but make him Hobbit-sized. If you can't figure out how that would enhance The Rules of the Game, you're not smart enough to even read my blog, and I don't necessarily mean that as an insult.

I don't think I get the cultural significance of this movie, and I'm missing a lot of context. But in this movie, this little conversation happens:

"Put an end to this farce!"
"Which one?"

And I can appreciate the sophisticated madness happening on screen. There are so many characters trying to either kill or boink each other during a climactic party scene that it was almost maddening. And speaking of that party scene, the French bourgeoisie sure know how to throw down. They also "gay up" hunting in a way that would make any warm-blooded man who owns an orange vest completely uncomfortable. But that party? You get bear costumes, dancing ghosts with wire umbrellas (I think they, with the dancing skeleton man, came straight out of The Karate Kid), and a guy showing off a bitchin' calliope. This movie's really less about the story and more a weapon to satirize rich French people in the 30s. And for people like me who aren't smart enough to fully appreciate that, it can be all about the style. There's some incredible people choreography, especially in a couple hallway scenes with people coming in and out of their rooms with instruments and tossed pillows. It's an intricate dance and a real joy to watch. The party scene with wavering lights and characters running off at just the right times--right before the guy with the creepy eyebrows shows off his organ--is another brilliantly choreographed scene. It's all pretty revolutionary for the late-30s. Renoir often draws our attention to characters in the foreground while having something else happening in the background, sometimes through windows, or sometimes shifting the camera to another character or conversation. It reminds me of both Altman and Wes Anderson, in that order. Back to that guy's eyebrows though. I think I'm going to have nightmares about those. He might be the best character though. He gets a few memorable lines including, "I'm suffering and I hate it." I also liked the scenes at the hunt, especially one lingering shot of a poor dying rabbit with a twitching tail and his paws drawn to his chest. I should probably spend more time thinking about parallels between the hunting scenes and the film's dark climax.

When this movie opened, somebody caught a newspaper on fire and tried to burn down the theater because he hated it so much. I'm willing to bet it was because of a fight scene during the party which might be the worst fight scene ever committed to film. That, or it's because the French are snooty. I never once wanted to burn anything while watching this movie although I didn't think I was liking it all that much for the first half an hour. However, this sophisticated little soap opera really just kept growing and growing on me until it became my favorite movie ever with dead rabbits and a man in a bear costume. Plus, it inspired the aforementioned board game. And by the way--if you're ever invited to play this game, make sure you bring some condoms and groom your eyebrows beforehand. You just never know.

Next up in the Shane Reviews the Greatest Movies Ever Made series: One of my top five favorite movies and #1 on the Sight and Sound list--Vertigo.

You, the Living Redux

2007 Roy Andersson movie

Rating: 18/20 (Mark: 16/20)

I watched this movie again, this time with my brother. He gave it a 16/20 after I told him it was a 17/20. Turns out that I gave it an 18/20, so I'll stick with that. My favorite movies are the ones that look crafted, like somebody didn't just care about the movie as a whole but every single thing that the audience will see or hear in the movie; the ones that look like they belong in museums; the ones made by auteurs, those that are not just movies but movies that you've never seen before; and movies that make me want to laugh and cry at the same time. I've seen this twice and still don't know completely what it's about. Throwing labels at it or trying to describe what it's about doesn't seem all that appropriate. And answering "What's this movie about anyway?" with "It's about life" doesn't make much sense. There's a lot of humanity in these 50 or so vignettes. How somebody unpacks messages from You, the Living will likely be based on his own experiences and feelings about humanity. You should watch it because it's a treat.

After we watched this movie, I had a vanilla milkshake and enjoyed every ounce of it.

The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou

2004 action-comedy

Rating: 18/20 (Jen: 18/20)

Plot: The titular pop oceanographer barely raises enough money to venture out and make a sequel to the documentary in which his friend and long-time collaborator was eaten by a shark that may or may not exist. Zissou deals with his fading popularity, his possible son who tags along for the adventure, a cute and pregnant magazine writer, and a variety of obstacles that threaten to derail production.

Bill Murray fans--here's your chance to see Bill without a shirt. Murray's the sun for the solar system of this movie. A lot of the humor with his character is the writing, but any future comedy mega-superstars need to look here for a course on comic timing and deadpan perfection. Check the scene where he answers the question about the purpose for killing the shark or the little pause and lean-back before he engages in fisticuffs with a heckler or his "OK, man" answer to Ned's introduction of himself. In Will Ferrell's hands, this character would be lost, drifting through an insipid ocean of slapstick and pointless screaming. In Murray's hands, the character is still lost, but he's lost in this existential funk, in his malaise, in his truths and consequences, and in the chore of being human. And yes, I realize how pretentious that might sound, but if you're going to write about why you like a Wes Anderson movie, you better be prepared to go full hipster or not go at all, right? I've watched this little character study more than any other Wes Anderson movie, I think, probably because I think it's his funniest. Still, I've not been able to put my finger on what it's about exactly. There's a lot of playing around with reality vs. this manufactured reality. You get the documentary footage, all scratchily authentic, and it's so obviously staged that you start to pick out scenes with Steve and his maybe-son Ned that also have to be staged. And then you wonder how much of the action sequences that go unapologetically over-the-top are actually real. And you wonder if all those sea creatures Henry Selick animated are real or imagined or both. I fooled myself into believing that the scenes that are showing Zissou's real emotions and the scenes where he's hamming it up for an audience--call it the real Steve and the documentary Steve--are actually filmed differently, framed in unnaturally stiff and more naturally free ways respectively. Of course, I could just be making that up. Either way, I do know that the big payoff, the scene with all the characters humorously crammed into that tiny yellow submarine, is definitely real, and Bill Murray's "I wonder if it remembers me" really touches me and just might be his finest acting moment. No, wait. Let me take that back immediately after I typed it. Murray's finest acting moment is after he explains how their helmets played music to Cate Blanchett's character and then demonstrated with a little dance. If Murray's the sun, all that orbits around him is about perfect in this. Anderson's usual attention to detail gives us Steve Zissou and crew action figures (which, I believe, I hadn't noticed before), plenty of beautiful sea life including a Crayon Ponyfish and this lovely scene that mixes the pink of fish with the blue of the water--two colors that probably should never ever be seen together like that, all those wonderful Bowie songs performed in Portugeuse by Seu Jorge, a three-legged dog, an acrobatic whale. And speaking of acrobatic, how about the way the camera maneuvers during the scene that gives a tour of the Zissou boat and then later during the scene where they steal from Goldblum's sea lab? Those are both so perfectly orchestrated that it makes my nipples hard just thinking about them. The periphery characters and the actors who portray them are so perfect, too. Willem Dafoe wouldn't necessarily be my first choice to play a needy German, but he's hilarious here. Owen Wilson, Anjelica Huston, Michael Gambon, Jeff Goldblum--all perfectly cast. And I had to give this a bonus point for Bud Cort, and his little smile after they do that little hands-in-the-middle teamwork thing in an elevator has got to be one of my favorite movie smiles ever. But then I had to take the bonus point away because Kumar Pallana isn't in this movie. One more thing--I've always wondered if the beginning scenes at the screening of Part One of the latest Zissou documentary with the ornate theater and the terrific Mark Mothersbaugh music and the giant painting and the way the shots are framed was a nod to Peter Greenaway. It makes me laugh to think about all that formality leading to a guy in overalls coming to grab the microphone from the stage.


Note: I just checked the rulebook, and I am not allowed to take away a bonus point just because Kumar Pallana isn't in a movie.

Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory

1971 kid flick

Rating: 18/20 (Jen: 17/20; Dylan: 14/20; Emma: 17/20; Abbey: 20/20)

Plot: The reclusive and eccentric titular candy maker holds a contest to invite five annoying children for a tour of his titular factory and a lifetime supply of his scrumptious titular confectionery treats. The tour ends early for some of the children who have poor listening skills. Grandpa Joe gets gas.

I just now realized that this movie is older than me.

Here's a link I stumbled across that suggests Gene Wilder had a lot of influence on the iconic character created in this. It's a great read, not only because it adds a bit to the genius of Wilder's performance but because it shows how classy that guy is. My 4 1/2 readers know that I love Johnny Depp and don't mind Tim Burton, but when I heard that remake was going to be made, the first thing I said was, "No, that's not right. Gene Wilder is Willy Wonka." And I know that I made the outrageous claim that this movie contained the greatest acting performance of all time, but that was actually wrong. The greatest acting performance of all time belongs to Gene Wilder for his work in this movie. Look no further than the wildly grotesque boat ride which not only gives Gene a chance to show his chops but just might be the greatest scene that takes place on a boat in movie history. That song, by the way, has lyrics that are from Dahl's book. I love all of Wonka's sneaky literary allusions which are not in Dahl's book: "Where is fancy bred--in the heart or in the head?" from Shakespeare, "We are the music makers, and we are the dreamers of dreams" from O'Shaughnessy, Oscar Wilde, Ogden Nash, John Keats. It's like a sweet-toothed lit. major's wet dream! Wilder's multi-lingual tour guiding, the deadpan humor, the curly hair, the somersault, the schizophrenic tone switcherooing, the dance moves, his sweet singing voice, the fluidity of his movement. It's all so brilliant, one of the most whimsically dark characters. As I've said many times, Wilder's most fun to watch when his character is angry, and I try to find as many opportunities as I can in life to imitate his "You get nothing!" near the end. I'm also going to start each school year by saying my classroom is where "all my dreams become realities and some of my realities become dreams" before weeping uncontrollably. Anyway, enough about Gene Wilder and his character. You don't need me to convince you that this is the greatest performance in the history of acting.

All the kids are good, even if they're good in really exaggerated ways. You hate them all, except for Charlie, and you're supposed to. Violet's gum chewing and annoying voice, Veruca's whining, Augustus's general shape, Teevee's know-it-all attitude. You don't mind when terrible things happen to these children because they're really awful young people. Their demises work as little object lessons, too, the dangers of not taking care of one's body, of being too prideful or just a little snotty or mean, of greed, of ennui. Those Oompa Loompas. They'll get you, like enforcers of the consequences of the Seven Deadly Sins. If I counted correctly, there were ten Oompa Loompas in the credits. One was in Labyrinth, one was in The Elephant Man and Time Bandits, one was in fourteen of seventeen episodes of The Prisoner and Magical Mystery Tour, one was in On Her Majesty's Secret Service, one not only played three different characters in A New Hope but was in Willow and two Harry Potter movies, one was an Ewok and acted in both Labyrinth and Willow and Time Bandits, one was not only in one of those C.S. Lewis movies but played a character called Dwarf--Eater of Cars in something called Born to Boogie and was also in Magical Mystery Tour, and one was only in this move. And one of them was named Pepe Poupee (I shit you not!) and was actually a woman (I still shit you not!)! What's it say that all the winners of Wonka's contest are Caucasians, by the way? Anything? And I was surprised to find that Peter Ostrum is another of those great one-and-dones and that he didn't have a single other acting credit. He's as perfect for Charlie as Wilder's perfect for Wonka, and I think a lot of that has to do with his hair. Like Wilder, I guess. The only gripe is that Ostrum's belching is wack. If you're about to be dismembered by a ceiling fan because a carbonated beverage is making you float and you can only save yourself by belching, you need to do it like a man. I'll mention one more performance that I like: David Battley as Charlie's teacher, Mr. Turkentine. I used to think that was Paul Benedict, but it's not. He's hilarious anyway, and one of the funniest lines in the movie that nobody would ever mention is his--the "Well, I can't figure out just two!" when he's teaching percentages. Oh, wait! I am going to mention one more character--Toht from Raiders of the Lost Ark is in this movie! Not the actor, the character--the dude who whispers to the children after they win. Or maybe I'm just on drugs.

Speaking of drugs, what a wonderful world the makers of this create without the need of computer graphics or a lot of special effects. The big candy room? 1/3 of it was actually edible according to Gene Wilder. That river? Yep, actual chocolate. Those wacky machines with their funky moving parts. So much color and so much fun. I'll take this old school set design over what Tim Burton did any day.

This is the second musical my family and I have watched for our summer family movie nights. A lot of the songs are great, too--"The Candy Man," a Sammy Davis Jr. staple; "I've Got a Golden Ticket"; "Pure Imagination," another great Gene Wilder moment; all the Oompah Loompah songs. Now "Cheer Up, Charlie" is pointless and shitty, and although Veruca Salt's "I Want It Now" isn't a terrible song, it doesn't make a lot of sense. Why does one of the children get a song before leaving while the others don't? This would be a memorable movie without the songs, but the songs make it even more memorable.

One of my favorite children's movies that are really made for adults. It's not for adults, you say? Well, go ahead and check for yourself what a snozberry is then. Oh, it's just so hard to not love Roald Dahl.

Bonus point for Pepe Poupee.

Five Easy Pieces

1970 character study

Rating: 18/20

Plot: Bob takes a break from his meaningless and directionless life of odd jobs to return to his former life with his well-to-do family of musical geniuses because Dad's dying. After a visit of a couple weeks, he returns to his directionless and meaningless life.

If this movie was made today, Nic Cage would have to play Dupea. And although he's one of the finest actors to ever grace the silver screen, he's not touching what Jack does here. Nicholson's performance is otherworldly, transcendent. This character-in-limbo study works for me, mostly because of that performance. The movie's driftless, just like his character, but Nicholson holds this whole thing together, gives it this chewy center. I could watch him attempt to order toast for hours, but that most famous scene in this movie isn't the only place he shines. His road rage is complete genius, all intensity and random shouting. "Why don't you flash your lights so we can see what else you got for Christmas?" And when his barking turns to a piano solo? Unforgettably beautiful. There's also a Nicolas Cage-esque freakout in a car, and his demonstration of Vegas rehearsal piano playing is so nutty. It's truly a virtuosic performance. I also enjoyed Billy Green Bush despite his dumb name as Dupea's buddy Elton. He's got a great southern chuckle which he demonstrates during some bowling alley antics and after pulling something out of his nose. He's also the reason I get to use my "ill-fitting underpants" tag, and, unless I heard incorrectly, he called Jack a "shit ass" at one point. One little detail that I like: during the scene where Jack visits his sister in a recording studio, you can hear the sound of a rewinding tape, backwards piano as a clue to what we're supposed to be looking for in Jack's character. I like that. Five Easy Pieces, a movie with a title I won't pretend I understand, also has arguably one of the best endings.

"Her name's Twinky."
"Twinky?"
"Yeah, cause she's so Twinky."

That's not the ending, you shit ass.

L.A. Confidential

1997 movie

Rating: 18/20

Plot: Following a massacre at a diner, three 1950's Los Angeles cops--a by-the-book youngster with a tragic past, a thuggish veteran with a special hatred for wife beaters (men who beat women, not the shirts), and another veteran more concerned with his own fame and wallet weight--uncover corruption.

I think all movies should start with Danny DeVito. The plot of this one confused me the first time I watched it. I finished it, enjoyed it, turned to a friend sitting beside me, and said, "I'm not even sure what happened during a lot of that." Of course, since nobody was actually watching the movie with me, I wasn't exactly lucid anyway. I really feel like this movie pulled its punches. Don't get me started on the ending which puts the capital H in front of ollywood. The movie should have ended with Guy Pearce flashing his badge, and you're not going to convince me otherwise. And the makers of this really tease us with Kim Basinger who could have been a lot more naked. She does have the perfect look for this sort of femme fatale role and does a nice job. Really everybody is almost given a role that is perfect for them. Pearce is good, even when they put glasses on him. The Crowe (that's what I'm calling him), for whatever reason, is a very realistic tough-guy-with-temper. And Spacey and DeVito are terrific in their sleazy roles. And you have to love James Cromwell who I think is the best of the bunch. I'll tell you, when you put him in a situation where he's not talking to a pig, that guy's as menacing as they come. There's a lot of interesting stuff packed into this almost-Shakespearean tragedy--racism, Hollywood and the nature of tabloid, greed and corruption, pornography, what shapes us as human beings/determinist philosophy. And I really like how 50's L.A. is created here. The costumes, the music, the settings, the dialogue, etc. all recall the earlier noir films this pays homage to, and the clash between the sparkling time and place--these almost peachy-keen 1950's--and its much darker underbelly really is what drives this movie and makes it pretty special. The complexities of this story fit together so well, and its twists and turns are interesting even when you're seeing this for a second or third or fourth time. The biggest tragedy is that this (and Boogie Nights, and probably almost every other movie released that year) lost to Titanic for Best Picture. Somebody should be embarrassed about that. L.A. Confidential is a great old-school movie movie, arguably one of the best made in the last twenty years. It could have done without all the glitz and gleam of Hollywood though in a sort of strange way, that fits thematically.

Fight Club

1999 movie

Rating: 18/20

Plot: An office worker befriends a soap maker on an airplane. Love triangles and fisticuffs ensue. They form the titular club, something that I'm probably not even supposed to be typing about. It's all fun and games until somebody suggests blowing stuff up and a guy with man tits gets a hole in his head.

Oh, man. This one's so dense! Dense and endlessly entertaining, a film with the substance to match its bombastic style, one that just shimmers. I remember watching this for the first time back when I lived in a yellow house. It shook me, and I thought about the movie for days and days. I even lost sleep because of the movie. Of course, it did completely ruin Chuck Palahniuk novels for me because they suddenly all had the same exact narrator--Edward Norton. Ah, Edward Norton. I don't know if I want to even like you since my wife's got a thing for you, but you're just so good in every movie you're in. And anytime an actor can make me not hate narration, that's a plus. The way he screams, "The first person to come out of this fucking door gets a lead salad, you understand?" or explains that "This chick Marla Singer did not have testicular cancer" and was a liar. The way he catches a giant bag of liposuctioned fat. The way he stares at a CGI penguin. But mostly that fight he has with himself in his bosses office? That scene is off the hook (as the kids would say). And Brad Pitt is just electric, always about a scream and a point-at-his-own-head away from transforming right into Nicolas Cage right on the screen. The performance is so good that you just can't imagine anybody else rocking that ironic (iconic?) bathrobe or swinging those nunchucks. Both performances bring out the subtle-and-not-subtle-at-all dark dark comedy in this story. And the movie is very funny. Just listen to Helena Bonham Carter (she's about perfect, too, and very sexy in kind of a filthy way) and Pitt's orgasmic outbursts, or better yet, just try to figure out what's going on when Norton interrupts a love-making session of theirs and Pitt comes out of the room with giant rubber gloves. A personal favorite bit of comedy is the look the woman at the thrift store gives when Norton announces, "I want bowel cancer." And Meat Loaf is in this! With tits! Tom Waits also gets a song in there, the delirious "Goin' Out West," and did I hear incorrectly or was there a Wilhelm during the plane crash fantasy? Fight Club's a movie that begs you to watch it again and again, one of those in which you might pick up a little something new during subsequent viewings. Did I notice the Tyler glitchiness the first time? That first non-glitchy shot of Tyler at the airport--what a line there. This is a movie about the balance between accepting life as it is and complete nihilism, about people--especially men--actually feeling something. You know, like a punch to the nose.