Charlie's Angels

2000 television show remake

Rating: 10/20 (Jen: 10/20)

Plot: The titular crime fighters have to defeat a bad guy who has stolen something that has to do with computers.

My wife wanted to watch this because she's a big Crispin Glover fan. The special effects team behind this twist him all around, allow him to defy gravity, and give him a cane sword. It actually looked to me like Glover might have been having some fun as a mysterious and mute villain. It's the most action he's had on screen since that punch in Back to the Future. He's easily the best thing about this mess. Well, unless you're a fan of the numerous shots of the Angels' rear ends. With hair-sniffing quirks and severely-parted hair, this will likely be the closest Crispin gets to being a James Bond villain. This tongue-in-cheek action comedy is almost a little fun, but the stupidity overwhelms it. Gratuitously sexy, unashamedly corny, and cartoonishly action-packed, this definitely won't appeal to the thinking man part of you. The trio of Angels--Barrymore, Liu, Diaz--are fine, but that something about Drew Barrymore that really annoys me is on full display here, and Diaz's character is a little too stupid. But they all move well and are shapely enough. There are a few cameos (Jen--"Tom Green AND Joey?"), and then there's Bill Murray who always looks to me like he knows that he's wasting his time when I see him in things like this. Allegedly, a fight with Lucy Liu caused by Murray questioning her talent kept him out of the sequel. I was happy to hear a Flying Lizard's song in this, but that was early in the movie, way before I realized that the makers of this were actually going to use every single song that has ever existed on the soundtrack. Oh, and there's Sam Rockwell, not surprising at all since he's in every movie.

I'm going to eventually see the sequel to this, but I won't feel good about it. I hope there are more explosions in part two!

Amelie

2001 romantic comedy

Rating: 19/20 (Jen: 17/20)

Plot: An awkward, introspective waitress in Paris decides to become a good-deed doer, and after she gets the hang of that, she decides to help herself.

This little feel-good movie of the century seems impossible to not love. It's refreshing, like lemonade washing over you without any of the stickiness. Amelie is as cute as a peach, and Tautou just nails this quirky and lovable character. The direction is as flamboyant as you'd expect and want from something Jean-Pierre Jeunet had anything to do with, and although the surface of this story is as simple as it can possible be, its diversions are so much fun. This is definitely a case where the "Where the characters go" doesn't matter nearly as much as "How the characters get there," the latter keeping this movie fresh no matter how many times you watch the thing. Along the way, there's a tiny bit of animation, fun camera play, some narration, a lawn gnome, and a sex montage that is as much a whimsical treat as my favorite scene in Delicatessan. Oh, and I just love the music of Yann Tiersen here. Even though it wasn't written specifically for this movie, the music matches the visuals so well. Another of my favorite little things about this movie: Amelie and Nino don't have any face-to-face dialogue in this movie. There's just something so precious about that. Ah, precious! That's a good word to describe this one. It's almost a fragile little movie, so delicate that I fear somebody with big clumsy hands might come along and accidentally break the thing. This is definitely not a movie for people with big clumsy hands.

As far as I know, this is still my brother's favorite movie.

Magic Mike

2012 stripper movie

Rating: 8/20 (Jen: 8/20)

Plot: The titular stripper takes a young pup under his hunky wing and teaches him the profession. Adam's extracurricular activities threaten to get Mike in some trouble and ruin his chances of opening up a furniture-making business.

I completely forgot that I watched this movie with Jen a few weeks ago. She was in the mood for something with "bunches of male stripping," "barely a story at all," and "lots of Matthew McConaughey." I suggested this because I thought it would also have some magic, but unfortunately, there wasn't anything magical at all. This isn't too far from Showgirls in terms of quality. The biggest difference is that it's not unintentionally hilarious. What I'm wondering is what Steven Soderbergh is doing this for? Shouldn't he be hard at work on a sequel to Schizopolis or something? That's a rhetorical question, so please don't answer it. McConaughey is his usual charismatic self and gets to say, "Alright, alright, alright!" enough to satisfy fans of Matthew McConaughey saying, "Alright." And if you're a fan of naked men, this has more than enough of that, too. There were so many stripping scenes here, and although they were all well choreographed and the actors (not professional strippers?) did a fine job, they just felt extraneous halfway through the movie. What this doesn't have is enough of a plot to last for the nearly two hour length of the motion picture or characters that are the least bit interesting. I guess I was supposed to care for Channing Tatum's Magic Mike because he made furniture, but I just couldn't do it. Tatum's not a very good actor either although he seems to be getting a lot of work. For this, it's apparently that he was hired as the lead only because he's pretty. The worst acting in this and quite possibly in anything else is Cody Horn's as Tatum's sister. She must be a Scientologist or something because she showed absolutely no emotion whatsoever in this movie and read all of her lines like she was behind a table reading lines for other actors during auditions. She didn't seem like she wanted to be in the movie at all. I might not be the audience for this movie even though I am a big fan of Matthew McConaughey and male strippers, but I found this really really boring. This is the last time I let Jen pick a movie for a long time!

Hop

2011 Easter movie

Rating: 8/20 (Emma: 14/20; Abbey: 20; Buster: 13/20; Jennifer: 13/20)

Plot: The Easter Bunny's son--the next-in-line Easter Bunny--goes to Hollywood to make it big as a drummer. A 20-something with no job prospects and no home but his parents basement befriends him, and they have a little adventure that is partially animated and mostly stupid.

The makers of this thing need to be crucified. I'll give them credit for mixing the animation with the live action really well. The movie looks pretty good. I can't remember the last time I got bored with the story of a movie though. Hating both of the central characters probably didn't help much either. The rabbit is voiced by Russell Brand which seemed to be the main reason Emma liked this movie. No, she's not a Russell Brand fan, but she really liked his voice in this. I thought he was kind of irritating, and I've never thought the Easter Bunny should have an English accent anyway. James Marsden overdid things, probably because he knew he'd be upstaged by a cartoon rabbit in post-production. This movie is predictable, bland, and too colorful. And that chicken! Hank Azaria should find better things to do with his time and talents. It's unlikely that I'm the audience for it, and my girls seemed to like it just fine, but I kind of hope it'll wind up forgotten since nobody will ever feel the urge to pop in an Easter movie around that holiday season like they do with Christmas movies. Speaking of Easter movies though: The Passion of the Christ has about three more laughs than this movie. If Mel Gibson would have had the foresight to add a cartoon bunny to that movie, who knows how much money he would have made. Actually, I'm not entirely sure why a movie hasn't been made about Jesus and a cartoon bunny. Wait, didn't The Last Temptation of Christ have a bunny?

Rushmore

1998 Wes Anderson movie

Rating: 17/20 (Jen: 17/20)

Plot: Hopelessly ambitious and underachieving Max Fischer befriends the father of some obnoxious classmates and falls for a young widow with a cute accent who begins teaching at the titular school. It leads to a love triangle and an attempt by Max to impress Ms. Cross that winds up earning him an expulsion from the school he loves.

Am I the only person who didn't know the following tidbits about Jason Schwartzman? 1) Talia Shire is his mother which, I believe, also makes him the son of Rocky. 2) He's Nicolas Cage's cousin.

I have my doubts that Jason Schwartzman, an actor who kind of annoys me in large doses, will ever top what he does here. His performance as Max, one of those characters you either love to hate or hate to love, is a great film debut. Bill Murray turns in a performance with some real edges and complexities, one where he perfectly balances a neurotic fervor and a calm resignation. It's really the first of these great Murray performances where he's found a niche after a career of hits and misses and wastes of his time. I know somebody will probably argue with me about that, so I'll go ahead and clarify: Yes, I liked him in Kingpin. But here, his way of not driving the action of the story but reacting to it is pretty brilliant. I think it's something you notice more the second or third time you see the movie, but the way you can see how he feels in this without the need of any superfluous dialogue is part of what moves me about these characters and their relationships.This is the movie where Wes Anderson, for better or worse, starts to become Wes Anderson. You've got the killer soundtrack (I wonder if I've ever used the word "killer" as an adjective on this blog before), the attention to detail, the quirky humor. One specific soundtrack note: hearing "Oh Yoko" makes me laugh anyway, but hearing it in a movie is about more than I can handle. Rushmore just works so perfectly and originally as a coming-of-age story, a tale of redemption for more than one character, and as a comedy. It's as refreshing as a bottle of Sprite or putting on your first pair of Zubaz.

My favorite scene, maybe in any movie ever, is the one where Rosemary shares a carrot with Herman Blume. Other little things that I love about this movie: Colin Platt is credited as "Boy Portraying Frank Serpico," Kumar Pallana is in this one ("Best play ever, man."), Bill Murray's shot-blocking abilities on display, etc.

God Bless America

2011 satire

Rating: 10/20 (Jen: Originally, she told me 16/20. After she heard my rating, she changed hers to a 6/20 and said she was "just kidding." I'm starting to think she's not taking my rating system seriously.)

Plot: Frank's more than a little fed up with the state of affairs in the titular country in which he lives. Well, he's fed up with television and the popularity of certain imbecilic reality and news programs. More personally, his wife has left him, his daughter's become a preteen spoiled brat, his boss has fired him, his neighbors are too loud, and his doctor has informed him that he's got a brain tumor that will kill him. He responds like most level-headed fellows would--by taking his aggression out on a teenage reality star. He murders her, befriends one of her classmates, and goes on a killing spree.

Bobcat Goldthwait always shows enough promise and an exciting willingness to take risks as a filmmaker that I keep giving his movies a shot. It almost paid off with the not-so-bad World's Greatest Dad in which we got to see Robin Williams' lil' genie. As established, that was something I've been wanting to see since he nanu-nanued into our hearts in the late-70s. But there's not a penis to be seen in this movie. The biggest flaw with this Bobcat piece is that it is that it's just as objective and balanced as the right-wing news guy he's making fun of. I'm fine with an anti-meanness or anti-vapidity theme, but this is so anti-red state that it becomes embarrassing. Or blue state. The Republican ones. I get those confused just like I get alligators and crocodiles confused. Anyway, I can support a director who wants to criticize America and its entertainers for being generally nasty or contributing to a dumbing-down of mankind. But to pick on Nascar fans? Why was that necessary, Bobcat? Why make fun of people just because they harmlessly like something that you don't like? Goldthwaite's handling of dark comedy ranges from queasily humorous to really clumsy and oddly predictable. Some of the reality show or "news" spoofs are pretty good, but it's a lot like shooting fish in a barrel and after a while seems about as funny as something you'd see on Saturday Night Live. And they're disturbing, probably because despite the absurdity of it all, it's so close to reality. I did enjoy the performances of the leads. Joel Murray is perfectly cast to play this guy who's reached rock bottom, probably because he kind of looks like he could be from Eastern Europe. He spends too much time being too much of an action hero or acting as Goldthwaite's mouthpiece, however, ranting against televised singing competitions and morning radio talk show farts or saying things like, "Why have a civilization if we're not interested in being civilized?" And Tara Lynne Barr, likely because Ellen Page was a little too expensive, played her character enough as a child to make her activities in this even more disturbing. She's as cute as Winnie Cooper and might have herself a career in the movies. Their good performances can't elevate this mess though. Goldthwaite succeeds in offending, but it's because of his preachiness instead of the way he probably intended.

The Hunchback of Notre Dame

1996 cartoon

Rating: 14/20 (Jen: 17/20; Abbey: 20/20)

Plot: When I was in fourth grade, I was in desperate need of an identity. So I started wearing leather pants and gave myself a nickname--Quasimodo. Only I didn't know how to spell it. I insisted that all my friends call me Quasimodo--it was Quasi for short--and even my teachers in fourth, fifth, and sixth grade called me that. Imagine how embarrassed I became when I found out that Quasimodo was a lonely ugly hunchbacked character who spent all his time in a belfry masturbating to figurines he's made in the likeness of the townspeople!

This is a very hit 'n' miss affair from the Disney folk. They handle dark and mature very well here, but that butts heads with the comic relief, almost all of it provided by a triad of gargoyles and almost all of it falling completely flat. Timon and Pumbaa have become gargoyles, make a bunch of fart jokes, threaten to spit on mimes, and are--to me, a non-child--extraneous. And contrast those gargoyle gags with scenes where babies are being thrown into wells because they're demons who need to return to hell where they belong, and it just seems to silly. That's pretty freakin' dark for a child though, right? Add Esmeralda's pole dancing, a scene which seemed racy and inappropriate for young viewers but succeeded in making me really horny and a villain who's just a little too complex to be understood by most children and just as horny as I am and you've got a movie that doesn't seem kid-friendly. But then you've got the gargoyles who seem like they're thrown in to say, "Hey! Don't worry because this is a children's movie after all!" This leans more toward opera than it does musical at times, and it takes a while to get used to the style of song. A lot of them are depressingly boring songs, including a big number at the beginning that is probably called The Bells of Notre Dame," a song in which they embarrassingly mispronounce Notre. Notra? Tell that to South Bend, Goofy! The "You're So Ugly So You Have to Stay in the Belfry, Ugly Guy" song is another stinker, but "Out There" is good enough to be considered as a minor Disney classic and the song the villain sings about Hellfire and the number in the Court of Miracles are pretty great. The animation is so-so. The scenery, the streets of Paris and the innards of the church are really well done except they goofed and forgot to put an Eiffel Tower in there. Esmeralda's animated well enough to give a dead gypsy wood, but Quasimodo is kind of ugly. A Disney hero should be better looking than that. What kind of kid is going to want to play with a Quasimodo action figure? Chester McBlondy (I don't remember the name of the other tip of the love triangle) has a bad haircut, so nobody's going to want that action figure either. Add him to the pile of uninteresting, wooden Disney hero guys. I don't really like how the characters move in this either. There's an unnatural glitchiness that shouldn't have been there. This isn't an upper-echelon Disney feature, but it's not bad. Reboot sans gargoyles and they might have something.

We Bought a Zoo

2011 movie

Rating: 11/20 (Jen: 15/20)

Plot: Benjamin writes about his adventures for a magazine, but he's about to have his greatest adventure ever when he buys a zoo and tries to get it up and running. His two children and he try to get over the death of the family's matriarch which seems awfully whiny since they seem to get all the free lasagna they can eat. The tiger's sick, and Scarlett Johannson's there to wave her cute little ass around.

I really thought that I was liking this sweet little movie, but the longer it went on, the less and less I liked it. In fact, I can't think of a movie with such a sharp descent from "Ehh--this isn't too bad" to "Oh my God! I need to wash the stupid from my eyes!" I will say this though: I like Matt Damon here. I don't know if the real Benjamin Mee is this likable, but Damon makes the character very easy to root for, despite or maybe because of his flaws. I also thought his daughter, played by a cute little girl named Maggie Elizabeth Jones, was really good, but then I remembered what human children are actually like and ended up irritated by what was actually on the screen as a cute little prop than an actual character. The son (Colin Ford) isn't much better at playing a human child, but that might just because I don't like people named Colin. Worst of the bunch is Elle Fanning, the convenient love interest for son Dylan, who acts like she's either been drugged, hypnotized, or hypnotized and drugged. Or maybe she's supposed to be vacuous in an almost eerie way, probably the product of home schooling. And Scarlett? Gosh, I want to like her as an actress, but she doesn't seem to have much range (but I haven't seen her in any superhero movies) and her character here was dopey and weird. I just have a tough time believing her as an actual female even though she wouldn't have slept with me in high school just like every other actual female. She looks more like a Scientologist than a person. And what the hell is up with Thomas Haden Church's head? I think there's something living in there. But these people aren't the main problem with We Bought a Zoo and neither is the amount of times the little girl says "We bought a zoo!" Although that repeated line might symbolize the collective problems I have with this syrupy thing. There's just too much movie here. It's predictable, and even the montage, Neil Young's "Cinnamon Girl" of all songs, shows up right when you know it will. Not bad soundtrack selections, by the way, with a choice Dylan cut and some Cat Stevens or whatever the hell he's calling himself these days. But I digress. There's what I imagine was penned to be the emotional heart of this movie, a scene featuring a tiger, that is just so artificial, and that's about where the movie falls to pieces. Add a fallen tree and a "Hi, Mom" that came closer than any movie to making me shove the business end of a spoon into both eyes and the handle into both ears so that I wouldn't see, hear, or be reminded of the scene again. Somebody should have stopped production and said, "Wait just a second--we can't show this shit to people!" Yeah, artificial. That's how I'd describe this one.

Bridesmaids

2011 comedy

Rating: 14/20 (Jen: 16/20)

Plot: Annie's BFF Lillian is getting hitched, and Annie, of course, is asked to be the maid-of-honor. Her life stinks in numerous ways, but she's happy for her friend. A rivalry develops with a new friend of Lillian's who seems to want to take over BFF duties.

My brother recommended this one which surprised me a little bit because he does not like to laugh. Though it's not on the surface much different than the majority of the modern comedies we have dumped on us, especially the ones with the name Apatow attached to them (he produced this), I found this one more consistently funny and easier to like. There are moments when everybody involved seems to be trying a little too hard and the dependence on gross-out gags, something that irritates me if I'm not in the right sort of mood, was there. But the almost-improvisational feel this has gives the characters and their relationships a very natural rhythm. I don't know anything about Kristen Wiig other than she has too man i's in her last name. I don't know her SNL work and don't remember her in the movies I've seen in which she's had smaller parts. Here, I was impressed, and not just because I thought she was kind of cute. She's got this ability to be absolutely adorable and ugly at the same time, and her ability to pull off this character who is likable and unlikable at the same time really makes this movie work. I don't care much for Minnie Ripperton's kid, another former (?) SNL alumnus, though. It's Melissa McCarthy, the Molly in some show I've never seen called Mike and Molly, who really steals the show though. At first, I was thinking, "This character is hilarious, but she's either not going to be in this movie very much or they're going to kill it by having her in way too many scenes." She ended up being in the movie a lot, and "a lot" was the perfect amount of screen time for her. She was physically very funny, and the outrageous and often absurd bits of dialogue make me wonder how the other actresses got through the scenes without laughing at her. I also liked Chris O'Dowd's character, but I'm pretty sure I was supposed to. O'Dowd, by the way, could probably end up in every romantic comedy. In the end, this isn't a terribly deep or even very original movie, but it did succeed in making me a little happier than I was before I started watching it. That's something.

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

2004 love story

Rating: 18/20 (Jen: 17/20)

Plot: Joel plays hooky from work and takes the train to Montauk for reasons that he doesn't completely understand. He meets a blue-haired gal, and they hit it off. Soon, however, they discover that they not only were an item previously but that they both underwent an experimental procedure to wipe their memories clean of the other person. It's very touching.

Jim Carrey's such a good actor when he wants to be. He's got an everyman face that makes you want to root for him. I'd accuse myself of having a crush on him if I didn't already have a crush on Kate Winslet and/or Kirsten Dunst's underpants. This is such a fascinating fractured rom-com, one that is always more touching than it is funny. Intricately written and visually clever, this thing slides down the gullet so smoothly that it almost seems like it's half as long as it actually is. And somehow, even when the goings get sad, things still manage to be joyful. The storytelling feels fresh, and the premise, although there's so much sci-fi fantasy that you're forced to suspend disbelief more than a lot of romantic comedy fans might be willing to do, is creative. Other movies just aren't like this one. Sunshine entertains while making a pseudo-profound statement on love and loss and relationships. It's really a beautiful little movie.

You have to have a good eye, but this movie does contain a Tom Waits reference. And Jon Brion's got soundtrack duties for this one.

Oprah Movie Club: Joe vs. the Volcano

1990 romantic comedy

Rating: 16/20 (Jen: 13/20)

Plot: The titular loser's stuck in a dead-end and depressing job in the depths of a gray building where artificial testicles, amongst other things, are made. As a hypochondriac, he makes frequent trips to the doctor. He complains that he doesn't feel right, and a doctor informs him that he has brain cloud and only five to six months to live. Joe quits his job with style and takes a secretary out. The next day, an eccentric gazillionaire shows up and makes Joe a proposition. He wants to pay for Joe to travel to a Pacific Island and throw himself in a volcano so that he can get his hands on a mineral needed to make superconductors. Yeah, I'm not sure that made much sense either. Joe agrees, buys a lot of stuff with Ossie Davis, and then begins his journey.

So how cute is that Meg Ryan? I've always been apathetic when it comes to Meg Ryan, but I was really impressed with the trio of characters she played here--the secretary, the flibbertigibbet (Full disclosure: I had to give this movie a bonus point for using flibbertigibbet.), and the yacht lady. Cute as a freakin' button, no? Tom Hanks? Well, I was distracted by his hair in this one, maybe even more than I was when I watched The Da Vinci Code. He's kind of like the straight man in this giant cosmic joke played on his character, and the performers around him, even though they're barely more than cameos, are memorable and a lot of fun. I always enjoy Dan Hedaya, and he's funny as Joe's boss with all those repeated lines about how so-and-so can get the job but can he do the job. Robert Stack plays the coolest-sounding doctor ever, Lloyd Bridges is hilarious as Graynamore, and it's always good to see Ossie Davis. The luggage salesman (Barry McGovern), Abe Vigoda, Nathan Lane. They're all great periphery characters. You really have to be willing to let go of the real world and just accept the way things happen in this movie, but if you do, I think this one's a rewarding experience. It's like a fairy tale with a little more depth, a story about letting go, taking chances, and living the big life that you've been given. It's probably too surreal and free-floating for the rom-com crowd and too goofy and Meg Ryan-y for a lot of people, but I thought it had enough giant dogs to make it worth anybody's time. And hammerhead shark puppets! That made me laugh. This one's worth watching multiple times, by the way, to catch some recurring imagery (check out that lampshade) and repeated lines (lots of "soul" stuff here).

Joe vs. the Volcano was Barry's pick for the Oprah Movie Club.

Psycho

1960 motel movie

Rating: 18/20 (Jen: 17/20)

Plot: The new highway's made the Bates Motel a little out-of-the-way, and Norman and his mother try to keep the business afloat. A gal who's just stolen a bunch of money finds her way to the little secluded motel, decides to take a quick shower, and ends up (spoiler alert!) losing all her chocolate syrup!

The IMDB trivia page for this one has a few fun nuggets. Randy ol' Alfred referred to Perkins as "Master Bates" throughout the production. And this is the first ever movie to show a flushing toilet. Oh, and Marion's white car (lots of black and white symbolism in this movie) is the Cleavers' car on Leave It to Beaver.

Well, Jennifer had not seen this movie. Not only that--she had no idea what happened in it. I was a little envious actually. I remember when my father showed me this when I was three. The iconic house, the quick edits during that so-complex shower scene, the shocking ending. I want to see all that for the first time, too! This rolls along like a B-movie directed by an auteur, and its brilliance is really in the chances that Uncle Alfred takes with the story and the breaking of movie conventions. Killing the lead actress off halfway through the movie? C'mon. You're just not supposed to do that. The psychotic mother/relationship that would make Oedipus cringe and Freud demand to be helped out of his underpants? No wonder Walt Disney refused to let Hitchcock film on Disney property because of this "disgusting movie"! Herrman's score is among the best, right up there with Jaws when you're talking about most recognizable and duplicated scores of all time. Unlike some of my favorite Hitchcock movies, this one doesn't get better each time you watch it. It's not without flaws, and without the surprises, it's just not as much fun. You unfortunately can't watch this for the first time more than once. But with its iconic imagery, that incredible score, one of the creepiest villains in movie history, almost overwhelming suspense, and a nipple that I might have only imagined, this is still something that you'll never forget.

Having said that, when I asked Jen for her rating, she at first said, "Psycho? I don't remember it."

Summer of Nicolas Cage Movie #9: Snake Eyes

1998 movie

Rating: 13/20 (Jen: 11/20)

Plot: Shady Atlantic City policeman Ricky Santoro gets involved in the assassination of the Secretary of Defense while watching a heavyweight prize fight. As the mysteries surrounding the killing unravel, he starts to see his dreams of somebody becoming the mayor slip away. He and his best friend try to hold it all together.

Nicolas Cage in charge of holding things together? Not in this movie, Cowboy! This is unhinged Cage, a Cage on speed, overblown and tacky. He's awesome, especially in the lengthy opening sequence where he's dressed in this flamboyantly sleazy outfit and interacting with people like nobody would ever interact with anybody. Nicolas Cage is the only actor I can think of who overacts on movie posters. But as you know by now, I mean this as a compliment. He gets a juicy dynamic character to chew on here, and it's fun to watch him make Santoro a "Cage" character. As a movie, Snake Eyes is really kind of a failure. It falls completely apart at the end, getting really unrealistic and stupid, and the story doesn't really have a lot of meat on it. But with Brian De Palma's flashy direction, it's at least a very interesting failure. I dug the camera choreography, most notably in the lengthy opening where you meet Santoro and some of the other notables and see the assassination from our main character's viewpoint. It's an extended shot, maybe fifteen minutes or so where the camera swims all over the place, and it's even more impressive when you think about how many people were involved. I'm a sucker for the whole same-story-from-different-angles storytelling, and this one does it with style and finesse. There's another neat shot where the camera moves over a series of hotel rooms. Nothing we see going on in those individual rooms is important to the story, but it adds some nice shading to the proceedings. I also really liked a very suspenseful scene where two characters are in a race to reach another character. The performances around Cage's could have been better (Gary Sinese has this smugness that always annoys me), and the last half of the movie doesn't live up to the potential of the first half, but this has a lively pizazz that definitely makes it worth watching. And that awesome Cage performance, of course.

Summer of Nicolas Cage Movie #7: Fast Times at Ridgemont High

1982 high school movie

Rating: 14/20 (Jen: 12/20)

Plot: Teenagers at the titular high school titillate each other, take some drugs, rebel against their teachers, get their priorities all wrong, knock each other up, make poor decisions, work toward their likely depressing futures, and masturbate.


This episodic look at high school in the eighties barely has Nicolas Cage in it at all. It is filled with a ton of colorful characters and their various misadventures. A few of those misadventures are interesting and/or meaningful, and unfortunately, a few of those characters are annoying. That's right, Sean Penn. I'm talking about you. I did like some of the interactions between his Spicoli and Mr. Hand though. This movie didn't make me laugh, and I didn't hit me on a nostalgic level since it's a bit before my high school time. As an artifact from the 1980s, it's maybe an above-average teen comedy, but if you're watching it only because you're a fan of Nicolas Cage, you're going to be really disappointed.

Summer of Nicolas Cage Movie #4: Amos and Andrew

1993 semi-satirical comedy

Rating: 13/20 (Jen: 14/20)

Plot: Successful playwright Andrew Sterling moves into his new vacation home on a ritzy New England island. His neighbors spot him trying to hook up his television and, since he's a black man, assume he's robbing the place. They call the police who show up and, since he's a black man, start shooting at him. It's an election year, so when the police chief realizes his mistake, he convinces a drifter/petty thief named Amos to pretend to be a kidnapper. The plan doesn't work as well as you'd think.

First off, is it just me or is Bobby Darin's "Beyond the Sea" used in too many movies?

This isn't a bad little movie. The comedy works even if the satire is too sloppy to make any coherent points. Brad Dourif plays a ridiculous character, Dabney Coleman is really good as the police chief, and our stars do an adequate job. It's not Samuel L.'s typical role. He gets to hit one guy in the head and wrestles around in the grass with Nicolas Cage a little, but he spends most of the movie passively waiting for things to develop. Nicolas Cage is pretty subdued here. He's got a great monologue about sea monkeys ("I wanted my family to be more like a sea monkey family.") and demonstrates his acting prowess in a scene where he chugs a beer and does this weird exaggerated head circle thing. And I'm only four movies in with the Summer of Nicolas Cage, but I've already seen him doing hand-stand push-ups in a prison cell in two of them. I think I may have even seen him doing hand-stand push-ups in a prison cell while "Beyond the Sea" plays in the background in two movies. I'm having trouble deciding whether or not this movie should have had more of a satirical edge. On the one hand, it would have given the movie more substance, but it also could have made the movie preachy. As a comedy of errors, it was fun enough. I don't know if I'd call it "hysteriskt roligt" though. The above poster, by the way, is misleading. Some of you might check this movie out because you like the way Nicolas Cage's hair looks there, but that is not how he really looks in this thing. He's a lot scruffier.

Shane-movies trivia: I hurt myself a little trying to do a hand-stand push-up. I also broke a porcelain figurine. It was all very un-Cage.

I Love You Phillip Morris

2009 gay romantic comedy

Rating: 16/20 (Jen: 16/20)

Plot: Stephen Russell,, an on-the-surface happily married police officer , is involved in a car crash. Immediately afterward, he turns gay, proving once and for all (since this is a true story) that people aren't born gay and that the conservatives have been correct all along. He also turns to a life of white-collar crime, conning his way into very comfortable life style with his boyfriend, Jimmy. Until he's arrested. But life really begins for Stephen in prison when he meets the Phillip Morris in the title, a shy gay man who he eventually gets to bunk with. And yes, "bunk" is a euphemism there. Once they're released, Stephen tries to create a happy life for Phillip and him the only way he knows how--illegally.

I could have used a few different posters for I Love You Phillip Morris, but they were all, for whatever reason, pretty gay. This is a good comedy, and it's great for a romantic comedy, aided by two likable leads. Jim Carrey gets some good material to work, and although that side of him that people have been sick of for ten years occasionally rears its ugly head, his flamboyance never really goes over the top and the tender moments are believable. Ewan McGregor's just as good as Phillip. You really feel his vulnerability, and for whatever reason (probably because he's English), he wears gay pretty well. It's a fabulous performance, and I'm not just using the word fabulous because this is a movie about homosexuals. It's shocking to me that he's in a movie where he engages in gay sex and doesn't show his penis on screen though. I believed the two as a couple for most of this and thought they had good chemistry, and the make-out scenes were hot. This feels like too much, too exaggerated to have actually happened, and I wonder how much they stretched things for Hollywood. Comparisons to Catch Me if You Can are probably obvious, but this one is a lot livelier and has this radiance that feels refreshing. It's not all bright, however, as it approaches subject matter nearly taboo for comedy. There's what I thought was a twist that I saw coming, but it was really well done and led to one of the most touching scenes Jim Carrey will ever be involved in. It's all a hell of a lot funnier than Brokeback Mountain though.

Greenberg

2010 comedy

Rating: 15/20 (Jen: 13/20)

Plot: The titular New York carpenter ends stint at a mental institution and agrees to house sit for his brother in Los Angeles while the brother's away. He reconnects with a few old friends and an ex-lover and meets his brother's family's assistant, a 20-something year old named Florence. Life, however, is not very easy for Roger Greenberg. He works on a doghouse for his brother's family and tries very hard to know nothing else at all.

I've always liked Ben Stiller even without really liking any movies that he's really known for. Maybe it's because I know he's eventually going to get older and look like Jerry Stiller, a guy whose appearance alone can make me laugh. Then, Future Ben Stiller makes me laugh and leaves me with a good overall impression of Present Ben Stiller. I also really like Noah Baumbach and his particular brand of understated comedies that emphasize all those little awkward characteristics that might not make much of a real difference but that help define who we are as humans. The oft-kitschy soundtrack (LCD Soundsystem's James Murphy), the philosophical focus on minutia, and the life-damaged protagonist that Stiller plays recalled Paul Thomas Anderson's hugely-underrated Punch-Drunk Love. Some will gripe that the characters, especially Stiller's, just don't communicate or respond to life like real people would, but I like how written it all is. While we can definitely understand the rather serious problems Roger's got, they're treated comically, and Stiller's performance helps make a very unlikable fellow somebody who we want to spend the time with and root for. Baumbach's self-referential with his screenplay, bringing back dialogue snippets that seemed pointless, and he's really good here with revealing just enough. I like these sort of in medias res character studies where you aren't given a complete portrait of the character's past (or even future, by the end of the movie) but are given enough to put some pieces together on your own. And it's all pretty funny and, ultimately, even a little touching, too. This isn't the type of comedic character study that will appeal to everybody, but I wouldn't imagine fans of Noah Baumbach would have any reason to be disappointed.

I've also decided to start wearing my hair like Ben Stilller's Greenberg does. I think that's the type of hair I should have.

The King's Speech

2010 best picture

Rating: 17/20 (Jen: 17/20)

Plot: In this hilarious remake of Harold Lloyd's Girl Shy, Harold is a future king of England who conquers his fear of public speaking (glossophobia, if you care) after driving a trolley ridiculously fast through New York City's busy streets and climbing a 12-story building. Thankfully, he lives to tell about both so that The Queen with Helen Mirren can happen sixty years later. I just don't know what I'd do if The Queen with Helen Mirren didn't exist. This also, I believe, rips off The Karate Kid. Not the original. No, the remake with Jackie Chan. I'm not sure how the Oscar people didn't catch that.

The only gripe I have here is the same gripe I have for any movie featuring a character who stutters: Mel Tillis of Cannonball Run and Cannonball Run II fame didn't get his chance to shine in a serious role. The King's Speech is that sophisticated sort of movie made so that people can throw awards at it. Not that they aren't deserved. Colin Firth's excellent as George VI. Realistic stuttering, I imagine, is difficult to pull off. I'm not a professional actor or anything although I do frequently act out scenes from my own screenplays while standing in front of a full-length mirror. And I've tried to pull off realistic stuttering, admittedly to practice in case I'm ever in a situation where I can make fun of people who stutter. Can't do it. So Colin Firth's ability to not only pull off a realistic stutter while simultaneously showing off the range of emotions that he does (quietly showing them off, I should note) is impressive. His isn't the only impressive performance--Geoffrey Rush matches Firth classy word for classy word while Helena Bonham Carter's really good as the queen. I like the way the movie is shot, too. Backgrounds are used to accentuate the characters' emotions, and there's a crispness to the picture that I really like. The movie's also not all stuttering all the time either. The natural development of the friendship between George and Lionel is just right, and there are some humorous moments in the dialogue, my favorite being during a dinner scene when somebody farts and both men point at each other before Guy Pearce's character pokes his head through a hole in the ceiling and reminds everybody that "the smeller's the feller" before blowing a raspberry, winking awkwardly, and disappearing to bugger a tart or something.

I'm starting a petition to get Colin Firth in either Cannonball Run III or a television remake of the 1970's sitcom Alice, by the way. Let me know if you're interested in signing it by leaving a comment below.

Edit: I had spelled Colin Firth's name incorrectly four times. Luckily, I fixed it before he saw it because that's the sort of thing that could ruin his year.

Movie Club Pick for March: The Rock-afire Explosion

2008 documentary

Rating: 14/20 (Jen: 15/20)

Plot: A look at the history of the Showbiz Pizza Place animatronic animal house band, The Rock-afire Explosion. The 'Splosion's fame was short-lived, but Creative Engineering, Inc. founder and band creator Aaron Fechter noticed a strong Internet fanbase early in the 21st Century. This documentary explores Rock-afire merchandise collectors, some who've even purchased their own Rock-afire Explosion in order to never have to completely grow up.

It's probably fitting that Michael Jackson footage found his way into this thing. Like the King of Pop, there are some people in this documentary who just can't or won't grow up. Jen seemed more startled about it all than I did. Me, I was filled with nostalgia while watching this thing. I loved Showbiz Pizza Place growing up (not that I ever dreamed of owning the Rock-afire Explosion like the guy in the documentary), and I'm sure those special trips to the restaurant contributed to my love of puppets and talking animals today. After all, it was the place where a "kid can be a kid," no matter how crappy the pizza tasted. So it was fun for me seeing the old commercials, footage of the band itself, a guy blowing in a Nintendo game to get it working. A scene in this also caused me to flash back to a turning point in my life. There's a scene near the end of this thing where you can hear the mechanisms, the clanking sound that the band members' parts make when they move around. I remember as a slightly older kid sitting up close to the Rock-afire Explosion and hearing that same sound and thinking, "My God! These guys aren't real at all! It's time for me to grow up." Soon after, I told my friend that it sounded like Mitzi Mozzarella needed some grease and that I was man enough to handle the task. I think that was the end of that friendship actually. My favorite scene in this was when they're taking Mitzi apart. It's like a Mitzi striptease, and like all my favorite stripteases, it goes all the way below the skin, right to the parts you've got to oil. Hot! I liked seeing the behind-the-scenes stuff in the Creative Engineering, Inc. factory. I was amazed at how quickly it all came together since animatronics, according to Fechter, is "everything in the universe put together." But he was making gasoline-conserving automobiles and leaf-eaters in 1973 with no interest in singing animals and then by 1978 had this band together. I really thought Fechter, a college graduate at 19, was a semi-impressive guy. Jen was less impressed, but I thought the guy was a genius. I wondered just what this guy could have accomplished if his brain wasn't as messy as the empty factory he still owns. He seems like the type of guy who should be saving the planet. And that sort of brings us to the central question this documentary explores--is the creation of an animatronic pizza joint band enough of a legacy? It doesn't seem to me that Fechter would say it was. He had bigger dreams left unfulfilled. The fans of the band, however, would surely tell you otherwise. There's a weird contrast set up by all this. You've got Chris Thrash (seriously, is that a real name?) who's had his dream realized just by owning his own Rock-afire Explosion and poor Fechter who, in the interview segments and that sad tour of Creative Engineering, seemed to have trouble deciding whether he was perfectly content or completely dejected. I could have done without the Cannibal Run-esque outtakes at the end or the whole thing about Thrash finding his Mrs. Thrash, she of the giant chest band-aid, and marrying her at skating rink or Fechter apparently hooking up with Rock-afire groupie who realized that Fatz Geronimo would never be interested in nailing her and figured Fechter was the next best thing.

Mitzi, if you're reading this, call me.

True Grit

1969 western

Rating: 15/20 (Jen: 14/20)

Plot: Same as True Grit with The Dude except this one has The Duke.

In Germany, this is apparently known as Der Marshall. It was probably unfair to watch this so close to the new True Grit because this one looks almost flat by comparison. John Wayne's his normal larger-than-life self, this time with an eyepatch, and he gets a chance to ride a horse really fast and twirl guns around to remind everybody why he's the icon that he is. But he's not as good an actor as Jeff Bridges, and Bridges' Rooster is a better character in every way, nostalgia aside. Wayne still won an Oscar for this role though. This version didn't have the quirks and left turns of the Coens' take, and I missed them, probably because I enjoy left turns and quirks. This is straightforward, almost a movie that's afraid to take any chances. Again, I realize comparing it to the razzle-dazzle of a 20-teen's remake is completely unfair. Besides the Duke, you get a lot of character actors to fill in the story (Duvall, Hopper), and the girl (Kim Darby) wasn't terrible. But Glen Campbell? Casting Glen Campbell as Leboeuf was probably a mistake. This True Grit is a solid if not classic Western, and if you haven't seen it in a while, you should probably watch it before you watch the newest version.

By the way, I'm pretty sure the new True Grit is two points better than this version. I'm afraid rating another Coen Brother movie a 17/20 will cause somebody to accuse me of being a third Coen Brother or something.