Manos: The Hands of Fate

1966 horror movie

Rating: 1/20 (Jen: 0/20 even after she was told she could not give a movie less than a 1/20)

Plot: A family of three vacations with their little dog Peppy. They get lost in the middle of a desert and find themselves at the isolated dwelling place of a deformed man named Torgo and his master who is, according to Torgo, sort of dead and sort of alive. After Peppy is killed, the family decides to leave but can't because of car trouble. Little do they know, their real troubles haven't even begun. Torgo!

This might be the worst movie ever, and Torgo is one of my favorite characters of all time. The guy's deformity (fat legs?), his weird twitching, the way he shuffles about. He's just great. I told Jen that I'm going to be Torgo for Halloween next year , and we've now planned to be the Manos: The Hands of Fate family and try to find somebody for each of the characters. I also told her that Michael J. Fox could play Torgo in a remake of this which, if you ever see this, is an opinion that will either be really hilarious or really offensive. They don't make movies this ineptly anymore! It's hard to fathom what the writer/director/producer spent 19,000 dollars on, but that was apparently the film's budget. If there was an award for the worst editing in the history of cinema, this would win without argument. It would actually likely win a lot of "worst ever" categories. Yep, it's that bad. I'm trying to decide whether my brother or my dad gets this for Christmas this year. Maybe I'll wrap it up and stick it in somebody's mailbox at school and give it to somebody anonymously. If Manos: The Hands of Fate can't spread the Christmas cheer, nothing can!