Speed Racer

2008 bomb

Rating: 9/20 (Emma gave it a 0 and Abbey gave it a 1 although neither made it through the entire movie. Dylan's old school and couldn't rate a movie he wasn't able to finish.)

Plot: Speed Racer (apparently his real name) comes from a racing family. His dad John Goodman Racer is a brilliant mechanic/inventor. His brother Rex Racer is a brilliant driver. His mother Mrs. Racer makes one hell of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Speed's dreamt of racing from a very young age, but the death of his brother and pressure from big racing corporations nearly ruins it all for him. In order to bring down one corrupt racing organization, he must compete in a dangerous psychedelic multi-continental race and a psychedelic Grand Prix against enemies Snake Guy and Old Gray-Haired Guy.

There were plans to see this in a theater with my brother, but they fell through because my brother, while ice fishing, fell through. It wouldn't have been the worst movie we ever saw in a theater since we also saw Creepshow II, Ernest Goes to Camp, The Disorderlies (featuring rappers The Fat Boys), Overboard, Ernest Goes to Jail, Toys, and Ernest Meets the Fat Boys on the big screen just the way they were meant to be seen. However, It's probably a good thing we didn't make it because we more than likely would have been surrounded by furiously masturbating Japanese men. I can't imagine a movie like this would have any audience other than furiously masturbating Japanese men. I like the colors a lot, and the action scenes, as expected from the Wafflaski Brothers, were things that I hadn't seen before. There was a scene where everybody was kung-fu fighting, and those cats were fast as lightning. The car racing scenes were also sort of like kung-fu fights in a way. And there was a humorous monkey, in my opinion the best kind of monkey you can have in a movie. But like the Wankerowskis' other movies, there's a lot of mumbo and even more jumbo, and it makes the other stuff a lot less fun and a lot more difficult to sit through. This is, however, twice as good as the third movie in the Wabooskies' Matrix trilogy. I also liked the colors. Oh, I already said that. Seems that the seizures Speed Racer induced have affected my brains.