Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children

2016 Tim Burton movie

Rating: 10/20

Plot: Following his grandfather's instructions after lured in by his unusual stories of where he grew up, young Chester or whatever the hell his name is winds up in the titular place and befriends some peculiar children who are doing something rather while Samuel L. Jackson is up to no good and these weird-looking monster things are looking menacing.

See how I called this a "Tim Burton movie" up there? That's not a good thing in the 21st Century. Before, Burton created this worlds-the worlds of Batman, Pee Wee, Edward Scissorhands, Beetlejuice--and you just had to figure out the rules of this particular world and then roll with the characters and whatever else was going on. Now, it's almost like Burton is winking at us repeatedly and screaming, "Look at this world that I created! Look at how weird that is! Look at how weird that is now! Don't you wish Vincent Price was still alive so that I could put him in this weirdness?" Instead of a focus on good storytelling or something that means something, it's just sketches of weirdness.

There are some intriguing visuals and some fun time-loop stuff, but the novelty of the whole thing wears off pretty quickly. By the time Jackson comes along to sorta earn his paycheck, you really don't care about any conflict that might be developing. And that's about the point when the movie just falls to pieces completely anyway.

Didn't Tim Burton have two movies come out last year? How did that happen? The guy must not sleep which I guess explains why his hair looks the way it does.

Johnny Depp should have played Miss Peregrine.

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